AIBU to be upset about not being invited to DBRO's wedding!

[wigglybeezer]

DBRO got engaged at Christmas. He told us all to keep a date clear in April, it turns out this is for a party not the actual ceremony which is this Friday. He has booked a room for four, so one parent will have to stand outside( either my Mum or Dad)

I can't help but feel sad not to be there, it makes me feel as though he does not value me as much as I do him. I don't care about not getting to buy a nice new dress etc.

I had a small wedding myself, only immediate family and two oldest friends, so understand not wanting a fuss but I don't know anyone who has done this when they have had a good relationship with siblings ( I know two couples who did this, one did not get on with siblings and had lost other significant family members, the other married for visa reasons and all siblings lived on different continents)

I am going to send a big bunch of flowers, watch DS3 in his assembly and try not to get upset.

Aside from you not being invited, it sounds really silly to not get a room that can accommodate both parents.

ReadyToPop

I hear what you are saying about the announcing the plans first but not inviting you, OP. I think if they really didn't think the actual wedding is the important part of the day, rather than a party... you know, the bit where you stand in front of witnesses and publicly declare your love for each other and declare your intention to look after one another and stay together for the rest of your lives... you know, the actual wedding - then perhaps it would be a bit easier to accept that snub if they'd just gone and done it, without telling you in advance.

I wasn't invited to my brother's wedding. I didn't mind but felt a bit sad for our mother who also wasn't invited. But the reason was because he and his fiancée lived in the US and her family couldn't afford to travel there for the wedding so my brother decided there would be no family on either side travelling. This seemed quite a sensible approach - my mother has never complained or commented, but she is lovely so wouldn't anyway.

And my sil is very nice too - we've met her subsequently. Their wedding was all about them, as it should be.

Yes to everyone who suggested my bro regards the party as the most important bit and the ceremony as a formality, whereas I think the ceremony is the most important bit, it's why I had my own wedding reception 3 months after the ceremony as I didn't want organising it ( it was a DIY job) to detract from the wedding day. I am a romantic, my bro is more of a logical, pragmatic type, so probably doesn 't get it.

I would never have a go at him about it, our family never confront each other! That's why I am offloading on here rather than upsetting my mother moaning about it.

We love our siblings but still don't want to get married in front of them. I don't want to get married in front of anyone really.

Viviennemary Thu 27-Feb-14 01:18:14
This would really annoy me. You're his sister not a random person. You'd be within your rights to tell him to get lost. But you won't.

Seriously? That's ridiculous and somewhat entitled.