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AIBU?

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Original poster

Play date behaviour

58 replies

Lastminutelizzie · 25/02/2014 19:39

My DD had a school friend to play this evening who has deliberately used a stamper (the ink pad type) on her pale pink duvet cover. They were playing in her bedroom, where her stamping set is stored in a box - to be brought downstairs and used on the kitchen table - my DD knows this and is usually very good. I only discovered the new pattern on her duvet cover after friend had been collected. Do I now say something to the mum, a good friend, or leave it ? I haven't yet tried to wash the duvet cover and am hoping it will wash out or at least fade, or it's spoilt. I'm cross at the situation, they are both 8 and ought to know better. I feel it's probably best left, but I would want to know if my DD had done it in another home.

OP posts:
ll31 · 25/02/2014 19:40

How do u know it was her friend?

Only1scoop · 25/02/2014 19:42

How do you know it was her friend that stampedConfused
I'd probably just get the vanish out and not say anything if it were me. Are they normally good when they play?

Cigarettesandsmirnoff · 25/02/2014 19:42

Oh yes get the mum to pay for a new duvet!! Grin

Leave it for Christ sake!

CoffeeTea103 · 25/02/2014 19:43

Are you absolutely sure it was the friend?im not really sure what you expect the mother to do anyway without seeming petty. If it was stored away the friend would only have played with it if your dd brought it out.

harriet247 · 25/02/2014 19:43

I think the responsibility is on your dd here sorry

onepieceoflollipop · 25/02/2014 19:43

I think you have to leave it tbh...on the basis that at 8 they are not really trustworthy and perhaps some dcs are less well behaved than yours.

(i speak from bitter experience, whend dd2 was six her friend, ds of my close friend, broke the bed, well 2 slats of it, by jumping on it)

if you do tell the other parent I kind of think what will it achieve (unless you demand money to replace the item?) She will either be embarrassed, angry or blame your dd as well as hers I would imagine.

onepieceoflollipop · 25/02/2014 19:44

Btw in the situation I mentioned I never said a word.

bodybooboo · 25/02/2014 19:44

I wouldn't say anything at all. it will cause a row. it might have been your dd and her friend together. kids get carried away and accidents happen.

please stop saying play date unless you are from the US.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 25/02/2014 19:45

I wouldn't say anything more than "ooh I gave dd a right telling off when I found out they had been merrily stamping ink on her duvet cover"

Waltonswatcher1 · 25/02/2014 19:45

Would you really risk upsetting a friendship over this?

Backtobedlam · 25/02/2014 19:45

They sometimes get carried away when they are with friends and do silly things. I'd probably say something to both the girls, that it's not acceptable and you are very cross, but probably wouldn't speak to the other mother about it.

formerbabe · 25/02/2014 19:46

Even if it was her dd... what's more important to you...her friendship of the cost of the duvet cover?! If it's the latter, then tell her what happened and ask her to replace it!

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 19:46

  1. you really should keep that sort of thing out of reach of children when not in use.

  2. you do realise duvet covers work exactly the same way with ink on them. Right?

BoiledPiss · 25/02/2014 19:49

It wouldn't even enter my head to do anything other than bung it in the wash with vanish if necessary!

Ifcatshadthumbs · 25/02/2014 19:49

I disagree that these things should be kept out of reach. They're 8 fgs!

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 19:51
Grin

And clearly not to be trusted as today's incident proves!

phantomnamechanger · 25/02/2014 19:55

8yo should know better, but as you do not actually know which of them did it and whether your Dd turned a blind eye/dared her friend or was dared etc etc, you can't really say anything to the parent. Have strong words with your DD though, so she knows a) that's not acceptable and b) if she is unhappy with anyones behaviour at all ever, she is to tell you and not be worried or embarrassed by doing so

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 25/02/2014 19:57

wow I am staggered!

Do you have OCD?

I really can't understand how a whole duvet can be ruined with a stamp.

Nealry every night my DD gets a pen mark on her duvet.

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 25/02/2014 19:58

My friends and I used to jump on beds all the time!

formerbabe · 25/02/2014 19:58

I was thinking the same thing! An ink mark on my dcs duvet would not even register with me and I consider myself quite houseproud! Is your home like a show home op?

TheGreatHunt · 25/02/2014 19:59

It might have been your dd. Kids get carried away when left to their own devices ....

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 25/02/2014 20:03

Just to put this into perspective, we had neighbours DC over once.

They proceeded to throw, and hurl every item out of her play house, then grabbed things and held them aloft so she couldn't reach them. and teased her....Then they went to her bedroom and literally trashed it. They pulled all her books out, took all her clothes out of the wardrobe and all her toys out of the toys boxed and some got broken as they were standing on them.

Needless to say they were never invited back!

wonderpants · 25/02/2014 20:03

My DD and her mate got sharpie pen over a futon chair cover, white laminate floor and white wooden blinds in my spare room (sob). To be honest, I blamed myself for not being aware they had taken the pens upstairs. It was an accident. What happens with kids. I would not dream of mentioning it unless I thought it was deliberate.

Viviennemary · 25/02/2014 20:08

Nothing you can do about it now. I wouldn't be very inclined to have the child back any time soon. Ask your DD about it and see what she has to say. At eight they know very well that this is not acceptable behaviour.

clippityclop · 25/02/2014 20:17

I'd put responsibility with my dds if I were you but don't make a big thing of it. Remind her what the rules are, and teach her it's ok to say no, nicely, to friends if they start doing things that're not ok in your house that may be acceptable for them at home. At 8 she's more than old enough to understand you're disappointed about the bedding, you work hard to have nice things and it's important to respect that and take care of your home.