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AIBU?

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Original poster

Play date behaviour

58 replies

Lastminutelizzie · 25/02/2014 19:39

My DD had a school friend to play this evening who has deliberately used a stamper (the ink pad type) on her pale pink duvet cover. They were playing in her bedroom, where her stamping set is stored in a box - to be brought downstairs and used on the kitchen table - my DD knows this and is usually very good. I only discovered the new pattern on her duvet cover after friend had been collected. Do I now say something to the mum, a good friend, or leave it ? I haven't yet tried to wash the duvet cover and am hoping it will wash out or at least fade, or it's spoilt. I'm cross at the situation, they are both 8 and ought to know better. I feel it's probably best left, but I would want to know if my DD had done it in another home.

OP posts:
LaGuardia · 25/02/2014 20:59

DS had a friend round to play when he was 8. The friend walked through the front door, out the back door, picked up a stick and smashed the shed window. I phoned his mother straightaway and she was horrified. Got the train home from work immediately and apologised whilst dragging him away. We went off playdates that day.

BratinghamPalace · 25/02/2014 21:04

Sounds like they got carried away. I know where you are coming from as I love my linens but you know they have a story for years to come. "Remember the time when ......"!

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 25/02/2014 21:06

Really bratingham! is this is the minutia of peoples lives? A stamp on a duvet cover? will this get trotted out as the height of naughtiness and rebellion?

Marcipex · 25/02/2014 21:10

And if it doesn't wash out ( though I expect it will) well, there's a lesson there isn't there.

purpleloosestrife · 25/02/2014 21:14

no offense intended, but I think the responsibility ultimately, is yours. Her parent/your friend wasn't looking after them, you were. You were in charge - they were in your house. To blame her for something that happened whilst the children were under your care does seem a little unreasonable to me!

If they were teenagers, fair enough. But 8 is still young enough to need an occasional head around the door, a listening ear and an adult who is supervising, surely?

littlewhitebag · 25/02/2014 21:29

Ah, wait until they are older and they start experimenting with nail polish. The stamp ink on the duvet will pale into insignificance when you realise nail polish does NOT wash out of soft furnishings or cream carpet

Ifcatshadthumbs · 25/02/2014 21:30

arf @ idrather. Our favourite naughty tale is the time my sister cut the arm off my friends jumper that she'd left on the stairs. It was 30 years ago now but I still remember my mum sobbing in shame!

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 25/02/2014 21:33
  • To blame her for something that happened whilst the children were under your care does seem a little unreasonable to me! I have to say this is how I felt after the neighours childrens trail of destruction. I blamed me.
Original poster
Lastminutelizzie · 25/02/2014 21:33

Meant to say that DD was as cross and upset as I was when we saw the stamp marks, bright purple in the middle of a pale pink duvet, and very much deliberate, as they had been playing on the floor. I could see by her reaction that it wasn't her. We have recently decorated her bedroom, the duvet was her choice and she usually keeps her room quite tidy. She likes to line all her teddies and soft toys up on her bed and is now upset about the ink.

OP posts:
IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 25/02/2014 21:37

Last, I just wouldn't want to get that upset about a duvet cover, sorry. I wouldn't want my child to either. I would simply play it down, not make a big deal of it, chat casually about who had done it, and whether it was a nice thing to do, then wash it.

If it doesn't come out, get one of those things from sewing shops to sew or iron over it, a pretty flower or something.

I consider my DC rooms to be beautiful and our house, but I don't want to encourage major upset over such small things.

Oblomov · 25/02/2014 21:38

Then your dd needs to talk to her friend about it. She is 8. Please don't do anything yourself.

formerbabe · 25/02/2014 21:39

I would imagine it will wash out fairly easily.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 21:41

Someone somewhere on the internet will have worked out how to get stamper ink off fabric. Google.

Cringechilli · 25/02/2014 21:42

I'd replace the duvet cover if your dd is upset and keep the inky one to use as a spare or a dust sheet or something. Before I read your second post, I was going to say your dd should have stopped her friend from doing this but it seems she didn't see. Beware though, I did something similar as a child (i was 7) at school and convinced my mum it was not me. I confessed the truth when I was 18 and my mum was really shocked Grin

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2014 21:45

and very much deliberate, as they had been playing on the floor

She (or your DD without realising it) could well have leant on the bed while getting up off the floor....with the stamper in hand.

Just bung a bit of Vanish or something on it and forget about speaking to the Mum.

You really don't know it was the other girl or that it was deliberate.

Weathergames · 25/02/2014 21:47

Just be thankful they didn't give each other "haircuts" and you had to explain that it was 7 years ago and I still haven't forgiven DD Grin

phantomnamechanger · 25/02/2014 22:05

waiting for OP to drip feed that the "accidental" stampings actually spelt rude words

lazyhound444 · 25/02/2014 22:26

You both sound a bit precious. I think you need to lighten up, and don't necessarily believe it was the friend and your DD is completely innocent. Years ago my DD had a pal round and her bedroom wallpaper had a huge sheet ripped off it. DD swore blind she didn't know how it happened but I was sensible enough not to drag it up with the pal's Mum, just put it down to "experience". Turns out it was both of them daring each other to be "naughty". Anyone who prefaces a statement with "My DD/DS would never...." is on a hiding to nothing.

ProbablyCaroline · 25/02/2014 22:31

You do sound a bit precious OP. These things happen....some children just go over the top and misbehave. I've had similar things happen...for a minor incident like this, I would still invite the girl back....but if she did similar, then that would be it...no more invitations.

I've got wise to their tricks now...before they go up to play I tell them both the rules...even though my DDs know them. I say "Here are the rules, no going in my room, no pens or other craft items upstairs...no food upstairs..no playing in the bathroom and no taking things out and not putting them away."

They generally do as they're told.

Berryglitter · 25/02/2014 22:35

It's a duvet cover, wash it! Hardly the end of the world even if it doesn't come out completely (though being a kids stamper set, it's most likely going to).

Next time put toys like that well out of their reach. I doubt it was deliberate, they probably both got carried away, which would explain why your dd is so upset.

CoffeeTea103 · 25/02/2014 22:38

So the friend just woke up from the floor to mess around on the bed without your dd noticing or joining in Hmm don't ask the mum about it, it's too petty to bother about.

coco44 · 25/02/2014 22:40

Presumably your DD knows that they are only to be used in the kitchen, so why didn't she stop her friend playing with them in the bedroom.I would be pissed off with the pair of them, but on the other hand thank your lucky stars it wasn't the carpet!

Edendance · 25/02/2014 22:52

Could you turn the duvet over??

Aeroflotgirl · 25/02/2014 22:53

Exactly, why did your dd not say anything to her friend if she knows the rules and was particular of her duvet. I would be upset with both of them. Really I would not say anything, just hope that it comes out in the wash, if not it will fade in time

MrMacadoo · 25/02/2014 23:07

if the stamping set is only to be used in the kitchen, why don't you find somewhere to keep it there to stop things like this happening again

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