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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if your a shit Dad...

39 replies

MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 09:50

Who doesn't see their child (through their own damn choice), or contribute financially to their child. Taking FB pictures of the child from someone else's FB and posting them on your own is nothing more than a desperate attempt to make you look like a half decent father when infact you are nothing more than an alcoholic, abusive waste of space.

Sorry! I might be being unreasonable but this really has pissed me off. My ExH has taken pictures from my FB and posted them on his. I thought all my photographs were private, I didn't realise the cover photo's weren't.

OK I accept that to post pictures online if I don't want him getting them was stupid but he is computer illiterate so didn't think it would be an issue.

I admit that I am pissed off he has taken pictures of my DD but I am fucking fuming that some of the pictures include my friends children. Children he has never even met. Children who's parents he has never met.

I have reported them and hope they will be removed. I know one of my friends will go mental he has done this as she hates him and quite frankly I'm a bit worried at telling her.

I know there is nothing else I can do apart from report and hope for the best but is it unreasonable to think if you are going to be a shit Dad through choice you man up and have the balls to admit it to others instead of pretending otherwise.

Off for a cup of tea it's too early to drink wine, it's too early to drink wine

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 09:55

See the main reason someone is a shit parent is because they are selfish and prioritise themselves over their dcs. So its not surprising really that he once again has done something to benefit himself at the expense of others.

You have my sympathy though. I wish there was a mandatory day off of being an arsehole so we could get a break from them now and again.

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2014 09:59

They won't remove the pics.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/02/2014 10:02

Reported what?? You have posted pictures on a public site and cover photos clearly state that everyone can see them........unless they are offensive then fb won't remove them.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:02

Thank you. I'm pissed off with myself too. I know I should have made sure they were all private.

I have a driving lesson today, if he happens to you know be walking past and I had cramp. Well surely it would be seen as an accident?

I think we should just round up all the arseholes and stick them on an island somewhere. That way they can leave use alone and make each others lives miserable (they should also all be sterilised)

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:03

There is a form for inproper use of online photographs of a child under the age of 13. It's not the pictures of my daughter it's the photographs of my friends kids. Apparently those ones can be removed. I accept that the one's of my daughter probably won't be.

OP posts:
mymiraclebubba · 25/02/2014 10:06

My mates exh is exactly the same hun so no yadnbu he sounds like a cock!!!

With regard financial support is csa an option?

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:08

I just don't get it at all. Especially since everyone on his FB page will know he doesn't see her. Some of the pictures were of when I took her on holiday Confused they all know he wasn't there.

I have contacted CMS but his Mum has told me he isn't working anymore so I assume he jacked in the job in order to sponge of the latest girlfriend.

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 10:09

Grin @ arsehole island! Good idea

mymiraclebubba · 25/02/2014 10:12

My mates ex did exactly the same! Scum of the earth imo!!

My partner willingly pays his maintenance, it is less than the csa say he should but it was agreed with exwife and solicitors that we would do this so that he would help with school trip payments, school uniforms and shoes. On top of his maintenance we also pay for their after school activities and pocket money whichbwas never taken into account when csa do their calculation. He helped create the kids and he should support them end of.

Sperm donor "dad's" really piss me off!!

WorraLiberty · 25/02/2014 10:17

He's not using the photo improperly.

Improper use means (for example) pretending to be the person in the photo.

They won't remove a pic of his own child, just because there are other kids in it I'm afraid.

Lesson learned though. It does clearly state that all cover photos are public.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:19

I just really don't understand the point in it. I've seen men do it before and can't help think it makes them look pathetic.

Especially when some people on his friends list are on mine too. They will have seen the pictures before... 6 months ago, when I posted them.

Arsehole Island... Aaaah we can but dream Grin

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 25/02/2014 10:19

You need to have a long hard look at your privacy setings. And block him.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:22

I use facebook on my phone most of the time and just genuinely never noticed. Absolutely learnt my lesson. Removed them all and won't be adding any more.

I saw on another forum someone had had pictures removed this way. Must of been different circumstances. I should probably ring a couple of my friends to let them know. Was hoping they would be removed before I told them but if it's not going to happen I best just bite the bullet.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:23

I have blocked him and his girlfriend now (I know he didn't set the page up himself and presume she may of had a hand in it)

I am also going to do a bit of a facebook cull to remove anyone who's phone he could get hold of.

I do know it's my own fault. It just pisses me off.

OP posts:
Trooperslane · 25/02/2014 10:25

Why are you Facebook friends with someone you obviously hate so much?

JugglingFromHereToThere · 25/02/2014 10:26

I think there's too much fuss about Facebook really.
The pics were already online for all to see, they've just been posted on someone else's profile now too (ex's)
The other day there was a thread where someone had the hump that her MIL hadn't "liked" some of the pics she'd put up.
Does it really matter?

notanotherusername1 · 25/02/2014 10:29

I am not on FB so pictures can't be used but I still get cross when I remember my ex (crap Dad) taking full credit for my ds's brilliant GCSE results. The man did not even know the name of the school my DS attended or what subjects he had taken or what grades he got yet there he was taking all the glory with his friends patting him on the back with their comments. They must be pretty thick to not realise this man rarely saw his son. Angry

It was the only time I have ever felt like joining FB, I wanted to put a few idiots straight on a few things. Glad I never did though, would not lower myself.

SaucyJack · 25/02/2014 10:29

They won't remove the pics Angry as there's nowhere on the form to report that the pics have been stolen/used without permission.

I had a very similar issue, except it was my father stealing pics of me from my DP's page.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:30

I'm not facebook friends with him. It was my cover photographs he took.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:34

I wanted to put a few idiots straight on a few things. Glad I never did though, would not lower myself.

Yes this, I refuse to publicly respond. That's why I'm here Grin to vent to you lovely ladies.

OP posts:
poppins30 · 25/02/2014 10:39

My Ex did this years ago, after he first left me and LO (5 months old).

He was looking for a girlfriend online (not on fb) and I found out he'd used pictures of LO in his profile albums - ones that I'd taken myself and emailed to him when wet first split up and were on speaking terms.

He obviously wanted to look like a doting single dad and have potential gfs cooing over how cute 'his' baby was.

I was absolutely fuming.

He wouldn't remove them.

Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:39

Does it really matter?

I know what your saying but it does matter to someone. It matters to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 10:41

poppins

That's vile. That really is quite low.

I've just been told my ex has tagged his girlfriend in them. The woman has never even met my daughter and they have been together for about 2 weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeepMeepVrooom · 25/02/2014 18:44

Just to let you all know from this thread. The photographs have all been deleted, part of the email for the reason is below:-

We have removed the reported content based on our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.

Unfortunately the situation has escalated quite a lot since this morning an my ExH's new girl tried to collect my DD from nursery but thanks for the advice and keeping me calm earlier Smile

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 25/02/2014 18:46

Bloody hell! Shock

Do you think he showed her the photos so she would know which child ro collect?! How scary!!