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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about what my parents said.

42 replies

Sometimesbrunette · 24/02/2014 23:50

i am 6 weeks pregnant and made the mistake of telling my parents.

However this weekend, my husband was supposed to be watching rugby at a friend of the families house but i was rushed into hospital with what we thought was an ectopic pregnancy (thank goodness it wasn't). Husband didn't go obviously and naturally we forgot about the whole thing.

I called my parents later on (they knew what was going on) and asked what they had told the family friend. My Dad said 'high hormone levels', I said 'wwhhhhhaaatt?, they will know i am pregnant?' and he said 'no i was only joking and told him you had stomach cramps'. i said that was even worse why couldn't they just say i was ill- why would he want to joke and try and wind me up?.

My mum then got all shouty and said a. that they said nothing actually and b. that we should have given them guidance. i said 'I'm not being funny but it wasn't my first priority at the time- next time ill issue a press release'. it ended up with me getting annoyed as they were clearly lying to me and trying to back track (and ok, i swore a bit) and them saying to me 'we are going to mute this as we don't want to hear it'. Then me telling them to f* off as i can't be dealing with liars at this point in time.

i just don't know why they would lie to try and wind me up when obviously I'm delicate at the moment and stressed because of whats happened. they always try and twist everything!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sometimesbrunette · 24/02/2014 23:51

oh and to add my mum said 'its true you have high hormone levels, look at the way you are acting now'. honestly.

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 24/02/2014 23:54

You were pretty badly behaved werent you? I think they should be upset with you. You have nothing to be upset with them for. You seem prone to over reacting.

Teeb · 24/02/2014 23:55

Sorry you had to rush to the hospital, that must have been very upsetting for you, i'm glad all is well with the pregnancy.

Yabu.

Caff2 · 24/02/2014 23:55

What Teeb said.

HarryTheHungryHippo · 24/02/2014 23:56

Um don't you think your being a bit overdramatic? Stomach cramps could be ill, they could be caused by a tummy bug, period pains, food poisoning or anything I doubt anyone's first thought would be that your pregnant.
You were also being out of line to start ranting and swearing at them, I don't blame them for muting you

magesticmallow · 24/02/2014 23:56

Yabu and OTT and very rude

Bogeyface · 24/02/2014 23:56

You were both as bad as each other.

They shouldnt have wound you up (and I think they probably have told your friends about the PG) and got snotty about it. But you over reacted and shouldnt have sworn at them.

I know a possible ectopic is worrying (I was taken in with a suspected one with DD1) but you were fine by then so I dont see that you were justified in your reaction.

trickycat · 24/02/2014 23:56

I understand emotions are running high and you've had a stressful weekend but this seems like a bit of a storm in a teacup. Did you really tell your parents to F* off? I think you need to take a step back. They probably had no idea what to say and can't be expected to know what excuse you would have preferred.

I mean this kindly but you need to calm down and save your energy for more important things.

I hope you are feeling better after your scare.

MrsWolowitz · 24/02/2014 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 24/02/2014 23:57

Oh and being pg doesnt automatically make you "delicate" You have another 7.5 months to get through, you need to toughen up!

Burren · 24/02/2014 23:57

YABU. Glad it wasn't ectopic.

MrsWolowitz · 24/02/2014 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theresnomewithoutyou · 24/02/2014 23:58

Okaay...
you are obviously delicate. Their daughter is ill, possibly miscarrying their grandchild. Poor communication here I think. They were worried. Didn't know what to say and you have had a horrible time.
Relax. Deep breath and I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy Flowers

Cluffyflump · 24/02/2014 23:59

Do you really think they were trying to make a joke of it/wind you up?
Glad you and your baby are well. Brew

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/02/2014 00:01

Exactly what Teen said. Every word.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/02/2014 00:02

Dammit. Teeb. Stupid tablet. Android is just as stupid as iPhones BTW.

Original poster
Sometimesbrunette · 25/02/2014 00:15

i think the thing thats bothered me the most is that they kept changing what they said and then said that they said nothing. i don't actually know what they said as they kept changing it. Its that thats making me annoyed, that they couldn't just tell me the truth.

Unfortunately they do try to wind me up for kicks, they've done it to me and my brother all our lives and then when we do react, we are in the dog house and its all our fault and we are really bad people. My bro and I discuss it at length, have both been to counselling and can both relate this to severe depression and anxiety disorders that we've both suffered from as adults.

I wouldn't say i am prone to over reacting, just with them. I am ok with everyone else.

The pain was in the right hand side and was 8/10. 2 sleepless nights in hospital over the weekend, a cannula and spent 72 hours thinking i'd lost my baby whilst some guy howled all night. I think i was emotionally delicate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sometimesbrunette · 25/02/2014 00:16

10/10 at times!

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Original poster
Sometimesbrunette · 25/02/2014 00:19

oh and hubby added as I put the phone down, i can't believe your dad was laughing all the way through that.

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claig · 25/02/2014 00:34

YABU, but it's no big deal.

They sound quite laid back and as if they make light of things. It sounds like they don't think it was a big deal what they said, so your dad was just making light of it, and when you got a bit stroppy, your mum stepped in.
You took it all a bit too seriously.

But these things happen, no big deal.

MrRected · 25/02/2014 00:53

OP YABU.

If it's round, orange and citrussy, it's probably an orange. If you ask a question and most people answer to say that YABU and quite precious, then you probably are.

You sound a little spoiled TBH. Relax and don't take things so personally.

MrRected · 25/02/2014 00:54

PS - glad that it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy though.

AGnu · 25/02/2014 01:09

My dad likes to wind me up over un-funny things too. It does make you irrational when you've had to deal with it your entire life. Add to that the stress & worry of early pregnancy &... well... this happens! Take a deep breath & try to put it behind you. It really won't seem like such a big deal once the baby's here. If you think it'd have any effect then perhaps mention to your parents that you're feeling particularly sensitive at the moment & ask them to be a bit more considerate? My dad would just see that as an invitation to mock though & then accuse me of not having a sense of humour... Of course if anyone tried to wind him up there'd be trouble!

Tbh, YABU... but I completely understand why you reacted the way you did! Don't let them get to you! Wink Hope the rest of your pregnancy is decidedly less eventful!

Stubbed · 25/02/2014 01:26

What's the worst that could have happened? Some friends know that you are pregnant. Which you are. Hardly the end of the world.
I've never understood this need for totally secrecy about being pregnant. You might not want to tell the world your news but a friend finding out can't really do any harm?

Original poster
Sometimesbrunette · 25/02/2014 02:21

AGnu- do you think we might be related? That's exactly how he is. He can't take it at all, he's been known to smash things or completely lose it. When I joked I would sit him next to his mother at our wedding, he said he'd walked out and got visibly agitated about it.

Thank you for those who have taken the time to read the post properly, haven't judged me and have helped me look at things from another perspective.

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