To be annoyed about what my parents said.

[Sometimesbrunette]

i am 6 weeks pregnant and made the mistake of telling my parents.

However this weekend, my husband was supposed to be watching rugby at a friend of the families house but i was rushed into hospital with what we thought was an ectopic pregnancy (thank goodness it wasn't). Husband didn't go obviously and naturally we forgot about the whole thing.

I called my parents later on (they knew what was going on) and asked what they had told the family friend. My Dad said 'high hormone levels', I said 'wwhhhhhaaatt?, they will know i am pregnant?' and he said 'no i was only joking and told him you had stomach cramps'. i said that was even worse why couldn't they just say i was ill- why would he want to joke and try and wind me up?.

My mum then got all shouty and said a. that they said nothing actually and b. that we should have given them guidance. i said 'I'm not being funny but it wasn't my first priority at the time- next time ill issue a press release'. it ended up with me getting annoyed as they were clearly lying to me and trying to back track (and ok, i swore a bit) and them saying to me 'we are going to mute this as we don't want to hear it'. Then me telling them to f* off as i can't be dealing with liars at this point in time.

i just don't know why they would lie to try and wind me up when obviously I'm delicate at the moment and stressed because of whats happened. they always try and twist everything!

Calm down. Do u not think your parents might have been worrried too?

Seriously? You told your parents to fuck off because they didn't know what to tell a friend.

I am pretty sure your visit to hospital would have been scary & can only surmise that you were still stressed by it when you spoke to your parents in this way.

It isn't going to matter if the friend know you are pregnant, is it? I don't see how the stomach cramps explanation would be worse then hormone levels...

Unfortunately they do try to wind me up for kicks, they've done it to me and my brother all our lives and then when we do react, we are in the dog house and its all our fault and we are really bad people.

So you need to recognise the signs & step back before you do over-react. Don't play up to them.

With parents like that I'd be telling them to fuck off too.

Hope you have a wonderful pregnancy.

Why did you tell your parents you dare pregnant?

I think most posters here ABU. You not so much.

But I think you need to not post in AIBU, go to Relationships and maybe read the Stately Homes thread. Sorry but parents like yours often get worse during pregnancy.

Why did you tell your parents you dare pregnant?

I think most posters here ABU. You not so much.

But I think you need to not post in AIBU, go to Relationships and maybe read the Stately Homes thread. Sorry but parents like yours often get worse during pregnancy.

This. Never understood why it's okay to say 'oh that's just dad! He's a vicious bully, don't react'

I don't think that yabu for being upset as I completely understand the provocation and why after an emotional day you just needed their support and not a wind up.

However, I do think you owe your parents an apology for swearing at them (although under the circumstances they deserved it!) If you know their pattern of behaviour you need to learn the way you react and change it so that it doesn't escalate. Perhaps learning to say "actually Mum/Dad I find your attitude to be unhelpful and offensive so I am ending this conversation now" and then hang up or walk away might be a better way of dealing with things. Like all bullies if they can't see they are getting to you they will eventually stop.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and I hope you feel better soon xxx

Does any of it really matter? Who cares what they told their friend. Get a grip, you sound really high maintenance. You should be ashamed of the way you spoke up them.

You sound like hard work, OP. And you owe your parents a mahoosive apology.

As to them always winding you up, if the events outlined in your OP are anything to go by, I suspect your definition of being wound up probably differ from most peoples.

Congratulations on the baby. Hope it is smooth sailing from now on.

YANBU, but then my father is similar. Reducing contact was necessary for my mental health.

YANBU

Those who say you are obviously have 'normal' relationships with their parents and are very lucky!

Come and join us on the 'Stately Homes Thread' in Relationships where people understand dysfunctional families.
Sorry you've had a hard time at the start of your pregnancy but many congratulations.

What a storm in a teacup. You behaved like a complete brat for very little reason (who cares what they told their friends?). And now you want sympathy for being forced to swear at your parents?

Blimey, maybe you do need to issue a press release in future. What the fuck does it matter what they said to this friend? As for 'lying' to you, I'd probably start lying as well if you were bullying me for a word-for-word statement. They were upset about you as well, you need to apologise and stop being a bloody drama queen.

I am another one who doesn't understand why you told your parents? If you know that they behave inappropriately and can't be relied upon to be sympathetic, then why add that to your worries?
I get on well with my parents, but I still didn't tell them until after 12 weeks as I didn't want to have to deal with their entirely well meaning questions and comments. If I had thought that they would be anything less than supportive then I would have waited until the last possible moment!

i don't really care about what they told their friends .

The issue i have is that they didn't tell me the truth and they changed their story. It was a simple answer to a simple question and when i got cross because they were obviously trying to cover themselves, they didn't like it...'we are going to mute you now..hehehe...'.

I admit I said 'whaaat now they will know I'm pregnant' but it was an observation. i wasn't cross until they said 'actually we said you had stomach cramps'.

My conclusion is that I'm unreasonable in telling them to fuck off, i should have just hung up on them as clearly they were enjoying it but not unreasonable in being annoyed that they were lying! if they hadn't have lied it would have been perfectly ok!

YANBU if they were actually laughing at your distress
Unpleasant and odd.

I think by telling them to fuck off (which in the circumstances you describe -pain, worry, lack of sleep and the whole unpleasant backstory of your relationship with your parents was probably understandable) you gave them more ammunition for their craziness. How long will they sulk over it?

I have learnt to be bright and breezy and superficial with my father and my stepmother, I don't tell them anything important or emotive because I know they will react in a way that will hurt me They tease and mock and control too, then sulk or rage at me (unsurprisingly I have had severe depression and anxiety just as you have) but thankfully I have a mother who tries to react in the appropriate way so their effect has been diluted somewhat. I would never tell my mother to fuck off but I have come incredibly close to doing that to my father when he is in one of his terrible moods (usually because I am not prepared to be the butt of his jokes etc when I am feeling vulnerable). They are completely unsupportive.

I'd leave them to it for a bit, calm down and focus on you. You have had a pretty shitty few days, take care of your self. I wouldn't be rushing to apologise just yet, take this chance of a break to reevaluate your relationship with them, which doesn't sound very healthy at all.