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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this offensive

418 replies

JingleMyBells · 21/02/2014 14:03

As I was leaving my neurology appointment, I have epilepsy, the receptionist loudly said to her colleague "I nearly had a fit the other night when I saw the state of the house".

To me wrong in many ways. Firstly, wrong terminology secondly, demeaning to people who have SEIZURES, could be upsetting for those newly diagnosed plus just generally inappropriate.

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 21/02/2014 15:10

The receptionist was offended that she was overheard. FGS, perhaps she should have been focussing on work, on the patients and maintaining professional boundaries rather than chatting to a colleague within earshot of patients.

Weegiemum · 21/02/2014 15:11

I don't think YABU but there are so many people who can be offended by so many things.

If I were you I'd be upset in this instance because it was a neurology nurse in clinic. On the street, not so much.

I suffer long term depression and a (different to you) neurological disorder. I'd feel upset if someone at the clinic where I see my psychologist said "I'm feeling so depressed", just like I found myself upset when a neuro physio said she had a "dead leg" - because that's what my neuro problem does to me - permanently numb lower legs and feet.

You'd get flamed on here (and rightly so) for calling someone a "retard". I think what you experienced in a clinic situation was wrong, and unacceptable.

RiverTam · 21/02/2014 15:12

from the New Oxford English Dictionary that just happens to be by my desk:

fit (noun) a sudden uncontrollable outbreak of intense emotion, laughter, hysterics, coughing or other action or activity: in a fit of temper

a sudden attack of convulsions and/or loss of consciousness, typicial of epilepsy and some other medical conditions: he thought he was having a fit

PHRASES: have (or throw) a fit (informal): be very surprised or angry

so the receptionist was using the word quite correctly - and for all you know has been taught that to use the word fit in the second sense here is not usual these days, where seizure is now used, so she may not, in a work context, have ever used the word fit.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/02/2014 15:14

Thank you, RiverTam Smile

Bowlersarm · 21/02/2014 15:16

RiverTam we should all resort to carrying a dictionary just to ensure we use words which don't have the teeniest possibility of offending some sensitive soul.

The worlds gone mad.

Oh-is mad acceptable?

SaucyJack · 21/02/2014 15:16

Actually, I don't think it was an appropriate word to use at all when working in a neurology clinic Hmm

When working as a support, I accompanied a deaf client to an audiology appt. The HCP ended it by saying "You'll be hearing from us soon" and yes, I did pull her up on it.

SaucyJack · 21/02/2014 15:17

*support worker

sparklesandbling · 21/02/2014 15:17

For clarity

YANBU to be offended by this comment when coming out of a neurology dept and having a receptionist say this in front of you.

Having a fit is the accepted term used by many health care professionals and school staff etc to describe an epileptic fit.

In fact I had this conversation very recently with a Doctor after my daughter was admitted for the umpteenth time to hospital suffering with 'fits' !

Personally I use the term 'seizure' as I think 'fit' has become used in colloquial language to describe loads of events.

I think until something like epilepsy touches your life u cannot contemplate how slips of the tongue can be taken badly by those suffering or those supporting those who suffer.
Especially when u r coming from an appointment where u were dealing with it and in OP situation were having a bad time!

BeCool · 21/02/2014 15:18

blimey so now chatting to a colleague when at a place of work is out of order?

I'd be offended by that but I take the Stephen Fry view on being offended, so I'll just bang my head.

Original poster
JingleMyBells · 21/02/2014 15:18

Sorry but I don't care what a dictionary says, to me, my feelings are paramount. I thought this was unprofessional. I was not eavesdropping, it was said loud enough that I could hear easily. I would like to say that the petty name calling on here has shocked me today but sadly it hasn't.

OP posts:
joydivisionovengloves · 21/02/2014 15:18

YABU and utterly ridiculous

ENormaSnob · 21/02/2014 15:19

No bowlers. I have severe pnd and mad offends me Wink

Yabu op.

FoxesRevenge · 21/02/2014 15:21

I'm off to talk to the wall.

Some of the comments on this thread are unbelievable.

PC gorn mad. Am I allowed to say that or will be PC be offended I have called it mad?

BeCool · 21/02/2014 15:22

If the receptionist in a neurology clinic has said " "I nearly had a seizure the other night when I saw the state of the house" YWNBU to say something.

But she didn't say that - she used the work 'fit' correctly, in a non-neurological way, in a way that is in common use.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/02/2014 15:23

When working as a support, I accompanied a deaf client to an audiology appt. The HCP ended it by saying "You'll be hearing from us soon" and yes, I did pull her up on it

Please tell me that's a fucking joke!!!Angry

And before anyone comes on bleating, "I think until something like deafness touches your life u cannot contemplate how slips of the tongue can be taken badly by those suffering or those supporting those who suffer" I'm fucking deaf as well and there was fuck all wrong with the above phrase.

Islandangel · 21/02/2014 15:23

my mum always used to say ....'your dad will go mad when he sees this'

she now has altziemers (sp) and mental illness.

the two are not related

Funnyfoot · 21/02/2014 15:24

YABVU.
If you were that offended why didn't you go up to her and say something?
Or was it that you wanted to come on here and have loads of posters agree that this women was sooooo out of line and offensive for using such terminology in her workplace. Hmm

I am epileptic and use the word fit all the time such as I was in fits of laughter or I had a fit when the dog chewed the sofa. I suppose I need to have a stern word with myself about the possibility of offending myself.

TheListingAttic · 21/02/2014 15:24

Sorry but I don't care what a dictionary says, to me, my feelings are paramount.

I don't want to be unsympathetic to your feelings, but they exist in your head and most people are going to use words largely in accordance with what they dictionary tells them. They can't know - and shouldn't be expected to know - that you interpret a commonly used colloquialism as implying something very different to what the dictionary/most people take it to mean.

I have suffered MH issues and could choose to be offended every time someone uses the word "bananas" - but that would be (ahem) madness.

FoxesRevenge · 21/02/2014 15:24

^What Sauvignon said.

Unbelievable Grin

It is half term though isn't it, it always goes a bit mad on here.

BeCool · 21/02/2014 15:24

I don't think the Professionally Offended joke about such matter SB!

MajorGrinch · 21/02/2014 15:25

to me, my feelings are paramount.

Inded - to you. Not to the rest of us I'm afraid. I refuse to stop using words that have innocuous meanings because some strange, random person may or may not become offended.

If she'd said "I nearly had an eppy" then I could understand your concern... As it is, YABU

Pendeen · 21/02/2014 15:25

"as everyone finds different things offensive.." JingleMyBells

So shall we leave it there?

Oh, by the way - YABU.

milkysmum · 21/02/2014 15:26

of course everyone is offended by different things but I am really really struggling to see why this particular turn of phrase would cause offence really I am!

Bowlersarm · 21/02/2014 15:26

Sorry but I don't care what a dictionary says, to me, my feelings are paramount

Well there you have it.

An OP who is so blinkered she cannot be reasoned with.

It was the correct use of the word OP. As RiverTam has just shown you.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/02/2014 15:27

Whilst you have my sympathy OP, you are wrong when you say I don't care what a dictionary says, to me, my feelings are paramount
You are using the word in your own personal context, you cannot possibly expect everyone to get inside your head and understand your own, very personal interpretation of words.