to be pissed off?

[sparklyma]

My friend needed help today to move out. I was already a bit peeved as it's a 3 hour round trip and I don't want to add mileage etc. No offer of petrol reimbursement either. She does however have no one else to help so I reluctantly agreed. I am now sat in her absolutely freezing cold house (no heating has been on as she moved out last week - just her stuff to move out now). She is busy sorting, faffing etc while I am freezing.

There is nothing I can help with as I've loaded my car and she won't tell me what I can sort. I am icy cold. Despite me warning her my car is tiny she said it would fit. It won't so tomorrow will be much of the same. We had planned a nice day out tomorrow. We can't do the rest this afternoon. she could surely have sorted etc before I came. So pissed off. Not how I want to spend the last few days of my half term.

Don't do it then.

I would just carry on with your plans for tomorrow and leave her to it.
You are doing her a huge favour, and if she sees fit to waste your time having you sitting about waiting while she does things she could have done before now, then she does not appreciate that fact, and I certainly wouldn't be giving up another day for more of the same!

I am a helpful sort...but I'm not a mug.

She has no one else lazy but I get your point.

Pictish - my plans were with her tomorrow!

Ah I see! Well...those plans are off, because she'd rather piss about and suit herself.

I wonder why she has no one else to help? Given that she is showing no appreciation for you right now, maybe that's not so much of a mystery eh?

You could be right pictish. She is lovely and going through a tough time at work but I do feel she is increasingly taking the piss. Expecting lifts rather than getting the train etc.

You've given her a day of your help, free transport too . I wouldn't spend tomorrow doing the same.

I'm happy to help but not at the expense of being treated like a doormat.

Tell her you're fed up, cold and you want to get going.

Go to the pub! Get her to text you when she needs you. You'll feel so much better after a nice chicken and chips by the fire.

Aye go for some dinner. Tell her to ring you when she's ready.

It's a good idea to take yourself off for a spot of lunch actually. Nice wee cafe, and a paper to read.

Say "Right well...I'm frozen, bored and hungry...so I'm off for a heat and a feed. Send me a text when you're ready for me to do something. I have until x o'clock before I'll have to make tracks"

Then GO!

This will send out the firm message that you have turned up for a specific purpose, not to just hang about at her whim, and while you are willing to help out, you won't be made a mug of.

You could say in good humour "You have me until X O'clock today, and I won't be able to come tomorrow, and I'm worried you're not understanding this"

Tell her to hire a van and driver.

Thanks everyone. Call me a wuss but I couldnt leave. I now have a bunch of stuff in my car to put in my loft.ahhhhh!

Wuss.

Wuss.

Why is stuff going in your loft & not her new house??

Bung her a tenner to put towards hiring a van tomorrow!

You have a bunch of stuff to put in your attic?

How did that happen?

Her new place is just a room so she doesn't have room for everything. She's chucked a lot but ...

...she needs to chuck some more!

Yup!

WUSS how is it going?

All done cjel. Everything extra is stacked in my house. I don't 'do' lofts. She still has stuff to move but I'm standing firm at not helping tomorrow. I've done more than enough.

She has no one else you say?

I'm not surprised.

To be honest, I think you are a bit of a mean "friend". Not only are you helping her begrudgingly from the start, but you're talking about her on here. I bet she can feel the vibe you are giving out.

I think friends help each other out, especially in times of great need and stress (eg moving home) ususally while having a bit of a laugh!

YABU