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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog Owner Behaviour - was I unreasonable? I honestly don't know if I was.

88 replies

PMDD · 21/02/2014 09:11

I am a first time dog owner. I don't know if I was right doing this or not and I would really appreciate your honest feedback.

I took my 3 children and 3 other children to ski club yesterday that ran from 10-4. It was a 2.5 hour drive from where I live (but very close to my mum so I was happy to drive and combine the trip for the children with a day visit with my mum).

As I would be out of the house for at least 12 hours I needed to take my 5 month labrador puppy with me, and then mum could see my dog too and would could have a walk etc.

When I got to the ski place I took my dog out of the car as she had been in the boot for a long drive. However, I couldn't take the dog into the ski centre. I tied her up outside the front door. I do this in the village where I live if I go to a shop. It is normal practice around here.

I was expecting to just be able to drop the children off and it would be 5 mins. However, when I got there I actually needed to help the children get their ski boots on. As there were 6 children, I was in the building 20-25 mins. I did go out to check on my dog after 10 mins, and she was sitting quietly. However, after I checked on her she then started barking.

When I came out to untie her and take her to my mums, a woman really shouted at me for being cruel. She said that as it was raining (not pouring, just light drizzle, and it was mild) I shouldn't have left her outside. She was phoning the RSPCA. I said she was being ridiculous and my dog had a waterproof coat and I was only gone 20 mins.

I walked off, but have been thinking about it more. Was I wrong? Is that too long to leave a dog outside?

OP posts:
JohnCusacksWife · 21/02/2014 18:54

Is dog theft really such a common crime that hardly a single dog owner here will leave a dog outside a shop for even 5 mins? Or is it one of these things that everyone's scared off but is actually v rare? I can honestly say I have never heard of a single case in real life.

VeryStressedMum · 21/02/2014 18:56

How will thieves know if a dog is spayed/neutered? ...stupid question...

Tulip26 · 21/02/2014 18:58

Sometimes you can see the spay scar on a dog and you can certainly tell in a male as there's -ahem- nothing there. They could also steal for bait dogs, to sell on (Gumtree!), the list of reasons is endless. You sh

Tulip26 · 21/02/2014 19:00

--You shouldn't have any notifications that your dog is chipped for this reason either as they will try and cut it out. A dog warden or vet will know to look if she's found. Please don't breed from your dog, if you do it right you won't make a profit and there are so many tens of thousands needing homes.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 19:04

I have to say John that I'm more worried about my dog slipping his collar or something and escaping.

But it wouldn't send me into a spiral of panic if I had to tie him up because of some unforeseen circumstance.

VeryStressedMum · 21/02/2014 19:20

Ah yes, didn't think about the male dog situation Smile, you can't see a scar on my girl she had it done 10 years ago.
And didn't even think about not advertising the chip!!!! She's got a blooming 'scan me' tag hanging off her collar, I'm sooo stupid I'll take it off. Feel sick that poor dogs get their chips cut out and the thought of them being taken as bait dogs is just horrific Sad

Preferthedogtothekids · 21/02/2014 19:30

Being tied up in a strange place without a member of 'family' around is a truly alien and frightening situation for any young mammal. It's akin to putting a 2yr old in a playpen outside the front door of Asda and just 'nipping' in for 20 mins! the child would be distraught. With pack animals there is always safety in numbers, and reassurance from the presence of senior packmates and no pup outside alone in a strange place would feel secure and happy.

Yes, you were very unreasonable and thoughtless. I would have made the call to the RSPCA.

Tulip26 · 21/02/2014 19:36

verystressed it was something I was told when I went to have my dog's tag made. The man explained it to me and said he'd rather not have the £8 for the tag if it saved a chip being cut out of a poor dog. Lovely bloke.

HellomynameisIcklePickle · 21/02/2014 19:37

It's not summer, I'd leave her in the car

PansOnFire · 21/02/2014 19:48

YABU for leaving the dog outside the building, you put her in a very stressful situation and yes, there are some sick people out there who would have jumped at the chance to steal your puppy for bait or for breeding. Part of having a dog is being a responsible owner and this was very irresponsible. The thing is, we make judgement calls on the situation as it happens and not all judgements are correct, that woman was wrong to shout at you as an explanation would have done. You seem very caring towards your dog and you didn't deserve to be shouted at for making an error in your judgement this one time, the dog was fine. But please don't leave your dog anywhere tied up outside, even if you know the area - you don't know who is lurking about.

I hadn't even considered the issue with the tag it's so obvious too! thank you.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 20:41

People do steal dogs john . We've had two stolen from out village from gardens
The op is a new dog owner and also had ample children so I think it's a learning curve for her.
Dogs do get stressed when they are young and in situations they don't feel are familiar.
In the winter Is it unreasonable to leave the dog in the car for half an hour with the windows open a crack for air? We've just walked past a neighbours house who has visitors. Their dog is in the boot of the car alone, been there for hours. Although he looks miserable .

everlong · 21/02/2014 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 20:52

It's a terrible thing to happen !

phlebasconsidered · 21/02/2014 21:00

Dog theft is endemic where we live. We have a large traveller site in town and they regularly steal dogs and miraculously "find" them in return for a reward. It's happened to five people I know, from their own gardens! Let alone from outside shops. It got so bad the police posted notices everywhere about it. And you're lucky if you just get stung for reward money: at least you see your dog again. If the dog is of the right breed, it'll end up in local dog fights or hare coursing. Even the rescue centres round here have posters up of locals who visit them to "save" dogs, when they're really having them to use as bait. It's very real, i'm afraid.

My own lab/cocker cross is so daftly loving to ANYONE I can't leave him tied up. He'd be off with anyone within a minute if they showed him a biscuit.

MiaowTheCat · 21/02/2014 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie · 21/02/2014 22:06

Yes I'm sorry to say dogs do get stolen (in answer to the question above). I have a retired greyhound and was once approached by someone who made me a bit suspicious. I immediately told him the dog was old and lame (true). The irony being that retired greyhounds are ten a penny and can suffer dreadful treatment once they retire from "legitimate" racing Sad, so are generally free to a good home.

Another one who says please, please don't breed from your lovely dog. There are already too many dogs without a home.

yummumto3girls · 21/02/2014 22:10

I think the puppy was too young to be left somewhere out of sight for so long, it would have been very stressful for her, I expect she would have got a lot of attention which I would have wanted to oversee. As others have said I would have worried about her being stolen. It's not at all surprising that 6 children would have needed your help, she should have been left in the car.

Peacocklady · 21/02/2014 23:31

Fine in theory but my mums dog was stolen from outside a shop, got her back luckily. I can't leave mine tied up as she gets nervous and jumpy since she was attacked by a staffie whilst tied up and she couldn't escape. It went for her neck and luckily only managed to get her collar. I'd have left her in the car for a short while if it's not hot, she's happy there.

sykadelic15 · 22/02/2014 05:04

You put your dog in the BOOT of a car? Like a sedan boot? No windows, no light? Or do you mean back seat? Or do you mean you have an SUV or wagon so really it's the back not an enclosed boot?

Obviously I'm misunderstanding because no-one else has mentioned the boot thing which I would NEVER ever ever ever do. It's dangerous for a person to be locked in a boot and I imagine the same for any living creature so there's got to be a lost-in-translation thing here...

The rain thing though - I would not leave my dogs outside in the rain, but you said she was wearing a waterproof coat and didn't mention it was raining when you went in. You also said you checked on her and you were within hearing range so heard her barking so it's all pretty reasonable. As others said though the risk of theft, injury or someone claiming your dog hurt them is high so I probably would have let her out to pee and put her back in the car while I sorted the kids, then taken her out again before leaving (if I hadn't had enough time the first time for a good stretch).

HellomynameisIcklePickle · 22/02/2014 06:38

Most dog owners have a hatchback type boot you silly - much safer for them to be in the boot of that than the back seat. We have a dog guard up and vet bed down and a Road Refresher which is a no spill bowl of water so it is very cosy.

Greydog · 22/02/2014 06:58

Would never leave houndie tied up anywhere. Could slip her collar, could be stolen, could be attacked by another dog. At the moment by us a charming person is leaving dog treats out with rat poison, so no trust no one.

JohnnyBarthes · 22/02/2014 07:17

lololol at AnyoneforTurps and the mad brolly woman.

VeryStressedMum · 22/02/2014 07:36

Yes you should only ever put a dog into a hatchback or estate boot never a sedan, that's just cruel imo.

eurochick · 22/02/2014 07:41

I'd leave a dog (not that we have one anymore ) outside the local newsagents while I nip in quickly but that would be my limit as I would be worried about theft/someone being cruel to her while she couldn't get away. In your circs I would have left her in the car as it was presumably a cool day (never do it in the summer though).

JohnnyBarthes · 22/02/2014 09:04

A sedan is a saloon, yes? Surely nobody puts their dog in the boot of a saloon Confused