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AIBU?

Dog Owner Behaviour - was I unreasonable? I honestly don't know if I was.

88 replies

PMDD · 21/02/2014 09:11

I am a first time dog owner. I don't know if I was right doing this or not and I would really appreciate your honest feedback.

I took my 3 children and 3 other children to ski club yesterday that ran from 10-4. It was a 2.5 hour drive from where I live (but very close to my mum so I was happy to drive and combine the trip for the children with a day visit with my mum).

As I would be out of the house for at least 12 hours I needed to take my 5 month labrador puppy with me, and then mum could see my dog too and would could have a walk etc.

When I got to the ski place I took my dog out of the car as she had been in the boot for a long drive. However, I couldn't take the dog into the ski centre. I tied her up outside the front door. I do this in the village where I live if I go to a shop. It is normal practice around here.

I was expecting to just be able to drop the children off and it would be 5 mins. However, when I got there I actually needed to help the children get their ski boots on. As there were 6 children, I was in the building 20-25 mins. I did go out to check on my dog after 10 mins, and she was sitting quietly. However, after I checked on her she then started barking.

When I came out to untie her and take her to my mums, a woman really shouted at me for being cruel. She said that as it was raining (not pouring, just light drizzle, and it was mild) I shouldn't have left her outside. She was phoning the RSPCA. I said she was being ridiculous and my dog had a waterproof coat and I was only gone 20 mins.

I walked off, but have been thinking about it more. Was I wrong? Is that too long to leave a dog outside?

OP posts:

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hackmum · 21/02/2014 17:11

Well, you thought you were only going to be five mins. And you probably understandably didn't want to leave the dog in the car (I don't like doing that either.) So the woman was a bit of a nutter, in my view. But I agree about the theft risk.

AnyoneforTurps · 21/02/2014 17:36

YANBU but I''m not surprised at what happened. I once left my lab outside a shop for 10 minutes. It was August and about 25 degrees. While I was in the shop, it started to rain and I came outside to find a woman holding an umbrella over the dog.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 17:40

YANBU.

The woman would have got a mouthful from me tbh.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 17:45

I think it great to hear that there are still people who look out for animals and their welfare. Let's not be angry at the lady who was worried about the dog. She may have annoyed you but was genuinely doing the right thing. People do steal dogs especially a lovely lab puppy like yours . It's a tricky juggling act, 6 kids and a young dog .

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 17:47

ThatBWoman,
How unkind to give a mouthful to anyone who was just being thought full to an animal.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 17:52

Imo she wadn't being thoughtful to an animal so much as being rude and nasty to the op.

If the animals welfare was an issue and that was concerning the woman she should have taken a better approach.

Yes, I can be unkind faced with aggressive judgemental behaviour, and I make no apology for that!

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 17:54

How do you know any of this? We're you there actually ?

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 17:57

Don't be silly -I've read the ops description!

The woman really shouted at her for being cruel.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 17:58

So you don't know how the lady dealt with it. Omg she was obviously worried about the dog wasn't she . She had no idea the OP was stuck helping children into boots

mistlethrush · 21/02/2014 17:59

Rain - no problem in this case - but I really wouldn't leave her tied up outside anywhere due to people stealing dogs. I've even heard of cars being broken into to steal them.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 18:04

Precisely kitchen.

She had no idea of the surrounding circumstances, and by the sounds of it just waded in, shouting at the op, rather than approaching her and voicing her concern.

We can only go on what the op says.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 18:04

Years ago people used to leave babies in prays outside of shops while they went in to buy groceries but you never hear of this now because people steal babies . The same with dogs .
The dog was barking because it was stressed. He had no idea his owner was coming back.
Seriously TBW you need to calm down and realise the lady was concerned and just doing the right thing. OP possible over reacted to her concerns as she had driven for hours with tons of children .

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 18:05

Prams *

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 18:06

Don't patronize me kitchen.

I am quite calm, love.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 18:07

Try being kind over being right and you'll be right every time...love !

Tailtwister · 21/02/2014 18:08

How awful that you can't leave your dog outside the local shop for fear of someone stealing it. We haven't had a dog for years, but we did catch someone trying to steal our pedigree cocker spaniel puppy from our front garden! The guy said he was just patting him, but he was actually lifting him over the gate when I came round the side of the house. I just thought he was trying to steal him to sell on, but the thought of dog baiting...makes me sick thinking about it.

VivaLeBeaver · 21/02/2014 18:08

Dogs can get quite stressed about been tied up and left.

I used to tie my dog up outside the village shop while popping in and thought he was fine as when I came out he seemed happy and was jumping about. Then realised everything e we walked in the direction of the shop his ears were flat, tail down and he was skulking along not wanting to walk.

I realised he was more stressed then I ever knew. Just because a dog isn't barking, howling when tied up doesn't mean they're not stressed.

IdrisElbaIsMyHusband · 21/02/2014 18:13

I don't think you should leave a dog tied up in case it gets stolen or bites someone.just before Christmas my son was bitten by a chow that was tied up outside a shop,we went to the police who did not give a shit.

EvenBetter · 21/02/2014 18:15

There was a thread in The Doghouse section recently about this, and several posters who had initially said they leave their dogs tied up at shops all the time, quickly changed their stance when they realised all the things that can go wrong, like the things listed above... The dog could be threatened by people, stolen, scared and feel trapped and forced to protect itself, hit by a vehicle, stolen etc. and completely avoidable. Plus the fact they look plain miserable and worried. I do t think anyone in this scenario was wrong, really, the OP didn't know the risk sand the woman was just looking out for an animal (albeit heavy handedly)

OP, if you really do want to breed from your dog please take a look in animal rescues first and decide if the country does in fact need more dogs. (But I know what you mean, I love our girl and would love more of her but that would be a terrible idea!)
I'm always pleased to hear of a new dog-mother discovering the joy of dogs!

HavantGuard · 21/02/2014 18:16

I'm a dog owner. I would NEVER consider breeding from my pets. Why would you put a bitch through that?

The woman was very odd but you took a big risk leaving a young puppy tied up alone. A young easygoing, fertile bitch of a hugely popular breed is a target for thieves.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/02/2014 18:18

Listen, kitchen, my issue is with the approach the woman made as described by the op.

There are risks involved with leaving a dog tied up.

I don't do it.

But this was an unanticipated situation, and no doubt at some point I will end up in a situation where choices need making, and perhaps I may need to tie my dog up for a short while.

It's not the most dreadful thing in the world, given the circumstances, and the woman who started shouting was bang of of order.

Topseyt · 21/02/2014 18:21

I don't leave my dogs tied up outside shops or anywhere else. If it might be necessary then I prefer to leave them at home. I guess with hindsight it would have been best if you could have left your lab with your mum before going on to the ski centre.

Dog theft is one of the fastest growing crimes in this country. A pedigree puppy is very valuable to puppy farmers, and it only takes seconds. That is seconds for someone to steal a member of your family. Also, many dogs do get very stressed if you have to leave them. I have occasionally left mine outside if my husband or a friend is willing to stand with them. Even then, my own lab is very relieved when I return.

So yes, I do think you were being unreasonable to respond to the woman in such a way. That said though, she was being rather OTT by threatening you with the RSPCA. Put it down to experience, as part of the learning curve of being a novice dog owner. We were all novices once, and in the beginning did things we now never would.

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kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 18:31

TBW... You are obviously just seeing it from the OP's point of view . That's fine and I totally understand , but I'm trying to see it from the dogs point of view and the lady who was concerned about its welfare. It doesn't mean you are wrong and you can't be a bad person because you have a dog and don't abandon it outside a shop for ages. I'm just saying , even though OP was already stressed and a upset , the lady shouting wasn't doing the wrong thing by looking out for the dog..... Was she ?
Dogs do get stolen and imagine how awful that would be not least how to tell the children.

Topseyt · 21/02/2014 18:31

Also, before you even consider breeding do read up on what health tests should be done first on your girl. Labs need to be hipscored (the results for both should add up to less than 15), elbow scored (should be 0/0), eye tested (ideally optigen), and none of it can be done before they are at least a year old.

Then there are stud fees to pay once you have selected a suitable stud dog (who should also have all of the above health tests done, with suitable results).

All of this is pretty costly. Add to that the risk to your bitch. You need a good financial cushion behind you in case of pregnancy related emergencies as these will not be covered by insurance. If an emergency c-section were required you could be a couple of thousand pounds out of pocket, with no guarantee the bitch and pups survive. I have a friend who had to rush her lab girlie in for an emergency section, and was lucky that the mum and pups all survived. It was very expensive.

Do give it proper thought. Don't just breed from her because you think she is gorgeous (and I am a labrador fan, so I am sure she is). What if you were unable to find homes for all of the puppies? I know this happens sometimes, and a reputable breeder keeps the ones who cannot be homed. Otherwise, you are just possibly adding to the numbers in the already overcrowded dog rescue centres.

kitchensinkmum · 21/02/2014 18:33

Op , please don't breed from your dog . Apart from the fact that there are so many unwanted dogs already, it's a huge amount of work rearing puppies not to mention how heart broken you will be when they are to go to new homes.

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