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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DC not eating enough at CM?

110 replies

Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 08:11

Toddler with CM for first 3 days of week as I work pt. have noticed that often when she gets back she heads straight to kitchen and points at the cupboard where her snacks are kept and gets quite frustrated, clearly hungry. She has all meals with CM. on Tuesday I got to CM early to pick toddler up as finished meeting early and the kids were having tea. It was just plain pasta with broccoli and chopped carrot (cubed so assume from frozen). No protein, no fat. In her food diary it said cheese, ham, veg pasta bake with yoghurt and fruit for dessert but they didn't have the dessert and there was no ham or cheese and it wasn't a 'bake' which sounds a lot more wholesome.

She also has things listed in food diary that I know she has gone off such as banana so wonder if she is actually eating this.

AIBU to think toddler isn't eating enough with CM and WWYD?

OP posts:
DangerousMouse · 21/02/2014 12:42

That doesn't sound like a balanced meal, but did the children have a more substantial lunch than planned? I am a cm (my charges have just gone for naps) and they have just had wholemeal pasta, courgette, broccoli, spinach, in a tomato and stock sauce with ham and cheese on top.

We are going to the park later, so dinner/tea will be beans on toast. If a parent collects at tea time and sees that, they may think it's not a good meal, and I know they don't all read the diarys to see what they had for lunch.

winterlace · 21/02/2014 13:08

But presumably DM you would not claim in the child's food diary they had something other than beans on toast for tea?

Islandangel · 21/02/2014 13:14

how do you know they all hadn't had ham and it had been eaten before you got there?

my little ones often eat thier favourites first and come back to it later.

it might be that your youngster points to the 'goody cupboard' becuase they know you will give them a treat when you get home.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2014 13:18

The chances of all the mindees having all eaten the ham are pretty slim. Yes they would have all been at different stages but they wouldn't have all eaten the same bit first with no evidence of any ham at all on any of the plates.

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 13:19

PP DD doesnt talk apart from handful of words. The problem is that food diary seems inaccurate. I think I sm just going to have to confront it as diplomatically asI can. Just no reason for cheap inadequate food.

OP posts:
DangerousMouse · 21/02/2014 13:20

No, I would say exactly what they had actually eaten in the diary, but most my parents don't read the diary each day. I know this as fact, so if parents were to come when eating beans on toast, they may think it's not a good dinner.

winterlace · 21/02/2014 13:23

I honesty don't know why some are determined to say the CM obviously didn't lie in the food diaries - I mean, the ops DD is hungry, the children are eating different food to the one in the food diary and it's the expensive food that's missing.

Maybe the butler did it Hmm but it doesn't seem very likely!

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 13:27

DD doesn't point to treat cupboard when she has spent day with me as she has plenty to eat. Has tea at the same time as with CM and a good balanced meal.

OP posts:
DangerousMouse · 21/02/2014 13:30

Is that aimed at me winterlace? Hope not, I agree, it is very wrong to lie in a food diary. If the child becomes ill it may be important to know what they have eaten. And, it is just wrong. That CM definitely did lie, and the food provided for that meal was unbalanced and poor, I just said maybe they had eaten a decent lunch which would mean that their intake for the whole day was balanced.

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 13:30

I only read diary when I got home. Thought at the time meal was inadequate but didn't say anything. Should have but unsure how to broach without saying 'is that all they get for dinner?' Not good ay confrontation but have to for DD I know. ..

OP posts:
DangerousMouse · 21/02/2014 13:32

I think you should say something as what else could she be lying about?

DangerousMouse · 21/02/2014 13:32

It'd be best to call her rather than talk about it in front of the children.

winterlace · 21/02/2014 13:34

No not at all DM - sorry. I agree it's good not to jump to conclusions but on the other hand the repeated insistence that the CM is innocent of all wrongdoing isn't sitting quite right with me either if you see what I mean :)

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2014 13:34

The only bit that doesn't make sense is that most people really wouldn't think much of the CM saying " really sorry but had to take dog to vets/sister to parents evening... Didn't have time to cook much tonight you might want to give them a snack later"

There was no need to lie at all of it was a genuine emergency.

DangerousMouse · 21/02/2014 13:37

I would be seriously concerned about what else she could be lying about, maybe outings and activities also? Anyway, off to the park now since it's such a lovely day.

soverylucky · 21/02/2014 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tomatoplantproject · 21/02/2014 13:43

I would just phone her and be honest and say that it all appears to be a bit odd. I would go bananas if things are not right and find an alternative. If she lies on this you can't then rely on what else she is saying. Trust your instincts - it is important you know what is going on.

At dd's nursery they give us a form each week stating exactly what she has eaten - the food is great quality and I know they are honest about how much and what she has eaten (I have dropped in early a couple of times and they have been in the middle of tea). For me it's really important because I've struggled getting food into her, and her not eating is the first sign she is poorly.

BelleOfTheBorstal · 21/02/2014 13:48

The cheese sauce should be fairly protein rich, soverylucky

winterlace · 21/02/2014 13:53

The thing that would upset me isn't exactly the food but he attitude that the children can't speak so aren't important - shove whatever cheap stuff is in the cupboards in front of them and lie about it is quite nasty really.

SaucyJack · 21/02/2014 13:58

Agreed winterlace

I'm sure there's a reasonable amount of nutrition in plain pasta and frozen veg- but there's no taste or effort and I wouldn't feed it to my kids (except dire emergencies)- let alone kids whose parents I was charging £70 a day to provide quality "proper" dinners for.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 21/02/2014 14:11

Hmm.

First thing I would do is - BEFORE speaking to her, turn up early to see another mealtime.

If it's fine (and matches the food diary) you can have a nice gentle conversation about making sure food diary matches as the other day you noticed it didn't...

However, if you see anything else to concern you, you will have the confidence to be able to have the very differently-toned conversation you will then need to have - ie what's going on here, please?

This is important if you're naturally conflict avoidant - your instinct will be to say oh ok to any explanation and want the awkwardness to go away... If there IS a problem, you need to be annoyed enough to push for an explanation and make it clear that you are NOT happy.

tiggytape · 21/02/2014 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 21/02/2014 14:24

Agree that if you find there's a problem, I'd be out of there in a shot. Doesn't matter at all how good she is in other ways - food is THE most important thing. The trust would be gone and my faith in her judgement of what constitutes good care would be gone too.

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 14:29

Yes Bruno, I think I will turn up early a few more times. Can do so on Monday and Wednesday. Will monitor and if still a problem on weds then I'll know it isn't just a one off...

Thanks for the good advice everyone. Glad I'm not BU

OP posts:
SuperScrimper · 21/02/2014 15:47

Personally that sounds like a terrible meal, like she just used what she had left on the cupboard.

But I also would be really unhappy with the beans on toast another CM mentioned. I wouldn't be happy at all with pasta and sauce for lunch and beans on toast for supper.