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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DC not eating enough at CM?

110 replies

Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 08:11

Toddler with CM for first 3 days of week as I work pt. have noticed that often when she gets back she heads straight to kitchen and points at the cupboard where her snacks are kept and gets quite frustrated, clearly hungry. She has all meals with CM. on Tuesday I got to CM early to pick toddler up as finished meeting early and the kids were having tea. It was just plain pasta with broccoli and chopped carrot (cubed so assume from frozen). No protein, no fat. In her food diary it said cheese, ham, veg pasta bake with yoghurt and fruit for dessert but they didn't have the dessert and there was no ham or cheese and it wasn't a 'bake' which sounds a lot more wholesome.

She also has things listed in food diary that I know she has gone off such as banana so wonder if she is actually eating this.

AIBU to think toddler isn't eating enough with CM and WWYD?

OP posts:
BrokenToeOuch · 21/02/2014 09:16

Sorry but it sounds as if she's cutting back money and the children are going hungry as a result.

Tbh, that's what first went through my mind, but obviously you can't really tell that in a snapshot of what you saw.
Also agree with the PP who said you really really have to trust the person who looks after your child, and if you don't, that person isn't the right one.

I happen to know 8 childminders well, and I would happily send my child to just one of them.

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 09:16

The others had long finished but didn't seem keen on the meal...I doubt they had dessert as other parent cane as I was leaving and that child had long finished...

OP posts:
starlight1234 · 21/02/2014 09:22

You do need to speak to the childminder... If food was changed it should be changed in diary... or at least verbally handed over to you if there was some sort of problem...

You need to feel confident where you are leaving your child and I am not surprised they didn't want it...sounds very dry... sounds very processed to me not wholesome to me anyway

OhMerGerd · 21/02/2014 09:26

It's tricky. This is the person you entrust your child to and it sounds as if the trust is eroded. There might be a good explanation but you need to be prepared if you're not satisfied and have a plan that will not leave your DC confused and upset or you having to leave them somewhere you're not happy.

Childminding/ nurseries etc are businesses and businesses need to make profits but never at the expense of children. If you're running a business and you advertise cheesy pasta bake you should make sure you deliver cheesy pasta bake, or something equivalent. Buttered pasta, broccoli and carrots are not a meal. I think anyone saying that has enough protein as a main meal for a child is being a bit optimistic about how much protein is in pasta. It is ok to feed that to your own child in a last minute rush if the cupboards are bare but not ok to give it to your fee paying charge whose parents have paid you to manage your business and plan the care of their child including meals at an agreed standard.

So OP be prepared to make new arrangements. Because once the trust is gone its not pleasant for anyone... Least of all DC.

HappyMummyOfOne · 21/02/2014 09:26

Could you not get a nanny? At least then you have far more control and can shop for the food yourself?

bigredbook · 21/02/2014 09:38

I would be looking for another CM if I were you. Even giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming this was a one off, she should have explained what had happened. I also don't understand how she could have "run out" of all of the ingredients. I agree that she is probably cutting costs. The fact that your DD is hungry when she comes home indicates to me that this is not an isolated event.

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 09:45

If it's always processed unwholesome food makes me feel I have to be superchef on days I have DD.mI'm 5 months preg and the odd day give her tinned spaghetti and fish fingers when too tired to cook. As pescetarian and vegan dp and I were also pleased that she appears to have plenty of meat and cheese with cm. In all other ways cm great.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2014 09:49

in all other ways CM great

I never understand these comments really. Ok so yes they get played with, etc but really kids would be "ok" if sat in front of films all day or left to trash lounge. Not what you would want but the kids would be "ok"

Feeding them though us such a basic thing. Probably the one thing they rely on her for more than anything else. If she's not found that then she's failing in taking the most basic care if the children for £70 a day.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2014 09:49

Not doing that

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 09:49

I only work 3 days and temping at moment so nanny not realistic.

Dd loves cm :(

OP posts:
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 21/02/2014 09:52

I too would struggle to give her the benefit of the doubt. I've done last minute dinners for my two when I've been due a shop but I would never think pasta and some frozen vegetables was even close to adequate. The fact that she thought it was ok, even if it was an emergency (which I doubt) doesn't say much for her care for the children.

Plus, it's one thing running low on food when it's your own house and children, but when you are running a business looking after other people's children? Not on at all.

Best case scenario, she's had some kind of crisis which prevented her from shopping. But in that case, she should have been totally apologetic about it.

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 09:52

You are right of course Giles.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2014 09:55

For £70 I'd also expect fresh veg. Frozen is for energencies in the freezer but other than peas frozen veg is rank. Fresh veg takes no longer to cook. Boil kettle add to pan:steamer, three mins and done.

TeacupDrama · 21/02/2014 09:59

frozen veg is just as nutritious as fresh but the meal was not balanced should have had protin and healthy fats like cheese as stated

LouSend · 21/02/2014 10:05

Dd2 always eats ham first, then fruit, then cheese. Then she tackles the carb and often ignores the vegetables.

Could that have happened?

Original poster
Fiveleaves · 21/02/2014 10:13

Lou, unless all the kids did that...

OP posts:
LouSend · 21/02/2014 10:26

No, that doesn't seem right.

It may have been a one-off, but I would be worried too. Especially at the prices you are paying!

Is it necessary to have the CM's food? The CMs in my area don't provide food for their mindees. They don't have food handling certificates so provide snacks and parents providence meals which the CMs will heat if necessary. Would that be an option?

Edendance · 21/02/2014 10:38

I have nannied for over 3 years and would never consider that a meal. There are no excuses for it and I'd be concerned she didn't make it clear why that was the meal and what had happened which had stopped her being able to provide something decent when you arrived.

If she's happy to mislead you by giving very different food to whats on the menu, what else is she happy to do? Did you not question the dinner when you picked her up?

Aeroflotgirl · 21/02/2014 10:56

£70 a day for a cm for 1child Shock. I most certainly would question this in a diplomatic way with cm, mabey make a point of coming early a few times to see. You are paying for a service so you need to know that your dd is eating what cm has said. It would be different if cm did do tge pasta bake and your dd did not eat it as she does not like it, but tge food that you saw being eaten was different to tge meal plan.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/02/2014 10:58

My dd 6 sometimes eats plain spagehetti, with cheese and butter and salt and pepper, refuses tge bolognaise sauce.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 21/02/2014 11:05

I think you'll just have to ask her. It depends if it was a one off or whether she's charging a lot of money and not providing the service expected.

I live in London and do not pay £70 a day for DS's nursery!

Sometimes I have given DS pasta and pesto for lunch, he loves it, and its easy. But he always has a pudding and fruit an eats a good diet.

I thought frozen veg was quite good, I'm sure it has all the nutrients as fresh, infact don't you lose the nutrients if you boil veg? I microwave fresh veg anyway.

FWIW, DS can't eat cheese as he's allergic to dairy and survives perfectly well.

Just ask her OP, you're paying for it.

SaucyJack · 21/02/2014 11:17

Did she try to offer any explanation for the dinner?

If not, I'd say you instincts were spot on and your DD is being palmed off with cheap, lazy substitutes instead of the proper dinners listed.

Becles · 21/02/2014 11:20

A bit Shock at all those posters who seem to have a problem with frozen veg.

If the memory of the coursework for my GCSE Home Ec serves me right, unless you are picking up from a farm stall or have a box delivered pdq, frozen veg, in the main, retains a greater concentration of vitamins and nutrients than fresh.

The only issue I have is that freezing can affect texture (that's why I prefer my carrots, cauliflowers and broccoli to be fresh).

whatever5 · 21/02/2014 11:26

I would turn up early a few times. It could be that your dd is hungry because she doesn't like her cooking and refuses to eat it but it's hard to tell. If your dd is talking yet what does she say about the food?

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2014 12:10

That's the issue I would have. Jut that frozen veg texture is a bit bleugh, they always come out soggy no matter what you do. Fresh is better for getting kids to eat and try as it's not so mushy. An you can very it according to season whereas frozen is pretty much the same mix all yr round.

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