AIBU to think that workmen should offer to take their shoes off in your house?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

I'm a shoes off in the house person, and always offer to take mine off when visiting. It's not because I'm a weird cream carpet visitor slippers freak. But I have carpet, a ds who likes to play on the floor. And a neighbourhood where the streets seem to be covered in dog shit.

I hate asking people to take off their shoes, so usually don't, and just hope they do anyway.

I've noticed workmen never take off their shoes, and lately I've had to have a few people in and around the house and gave been cringing at their boots standing on my bathmat mainly.

I just think shoes on carpets are gross.

needtobe OH washes down the drive when it needs it, which is not that often, rain sees to that. I live in a village and am, I assume from previous postings, fraffly middle class - so shoes on.

You learn loads you didn't know before on mumsnet.

I also don't like black bobbles from black socks on my carpets as has happened on the odd occasion DCs' friends took their shoes off.

French just because you haven't experienced something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Also the HA use one contractor who cover everything plumbers, electricians, carpenters I don't think that they are going to end the contract just because of a complaint from me.

It's not always as simple as people make out, when that man swore and threw his phone I had a radiator off the wall and heating all off, had I told him to get out it would have just been left like that, how would I know that they wouldn't have been ark ward about sending somebody else out? Also you tend to get the same person each time, so the hearing engineer is always one of two people, I wouldn't want to face someone again after I'd complained about them.

I did say after the first reply that I can see it wouldn't be practical for somebody wearing safety boots to take them off and risk injury, I wasn't really thinking as I was thinking about a situation where people have been to look around.

I'm of the lower class, the underclass perhaps?

I fit the criteria perfectly, and do like to eat my Happy Meal on the floor.

Can't believe this is still going on, hilarious! My FIL, who we hardly ever see because he abandoned his children for 15 years when he had another child, and so is not a very welcome guest, brings a little bag with his slippers to our house and changes into them! It's totally bizarre and I find it very off since he should not feel that relaxed in our house, given what a total failure for a father and grandfather he has been! Also implies he is going to stay for hours......which he does.....

who knew this topic was going to raise all these issues!?

DH is a joiner he would not take his shoes/boots off a chisel dropped on foot could cause serious injury, also often they are going back and forth to van for tools etc for most workmen/ tradespeople it is not practical or safe to remove shoes, expecting them to use a door mat and use dust sheets etc is not unreasonable

I think BU to ask meter readers etc to take shoes off they are paid per house and it's a serious delay, I work in healthcare I rarely make home visits but if I did I would not remove my shoes, I would wipe on doormat not every patient has clean floors and wearing just socks/tights on tiled or wooden floors can be slippy I either go barefoot or with shoes, I do not walk about in just socks for above reason

I would take my shoes of in a friends house if carpeted but not if tiled/wooden floors as I have sprained my ankle about 10 times and now it takes 3-6 months to heal if I fall or slip last time was with socks on a hall floor

Torcat but what has your horrible fil to do with the general subject?

One thing I don't get is, some people have said that they wouldn't want guests to take off shoes as they want them to feel comfortable/welcome, but then on the other hand they're saying they don't want them getting too comfy/taking shoes off suggesting they'll be there for hours/putting their feet up.

Which is it?

What a long old thread OP.

Very rude to ask someone to take their shoes off in your own home. I would be very puzzled if someone came into my house and immediately took their shoes off. Very odd.

I wouldn't take mine off in someone else's house unless muddy. I wouldn't like to be asked to.

I don't think workmen should remove theirs, unless dirty.

It is I keep thinking no point replying as it's all been said but keep checking in. I had no idea that this subject had such strong views and was like a P/C parking/ear piercing.

I have thought about this and remembered I did use to hold class opinions about it after all! I remember it from childhood! Apologies. But actually, I think shoes off has become far more normal and prevalent, and since I have owned my own house in a city, I resent bacterium and dubious particles on my floors (mud doesn't really bother me!). But I do worry a lot about the revolting things on the pavements and think about it more than most people! In my experience, people usually offer to remove their shoes, including workmen. I had some gardeners in to clear the wilderness of the back garden recently and they had to go from the back door to the front continually and they refused to leave their boots on - it was painful watching them constantly take them off and put them on again, particularly as it's a new house and there's the most revolting laminate floor that I couldn't care less about and which is easily cleaned (which I told them repeatedly!).

My family think I'm a bit strange and will happily traipse around London and then traipse around my house in those same shoes.
In short, I do think it's a bit odd to ask workmen to remove shoes, especially if they need to have them on (but I like the idea of overshoes - might have to buy some!). If I do ever have to ask people to remove their shoes I usually explain it away by raving on about being paranoid about London streets and apologising profusely, but I seldom have to ask.

The origins of the difference in approach are indeed class-based, but the lines have blurred.

I bet that even the shoes off folk wouldn't remove their shoes in Buckingham Palace though. Why not?

I had no idea that this subject had such strong views

I did! I did! Sews badge on MN sleeve.

I get properly pissed off at people not offering (or just doing it automatically) to take their shoes when they visit! It's so rude! Then again in my culture it is considered disrespectful to wear shoes indoors apart from certain situations/occasions, so I'm coming from a different perspective to most english people :)

Catsize, Buckingham palace isn't really a home though in the same sense that my tiny little semi is. You might remove your shoes in the living quarters, I don't know? No idea what the Queen does or expects in her living room.

Perhaps the upper classes wouldn't like to slob about without their footwear, I've no idea. What is very offensive is the implication that either is better. That the Royal family would be some how 'better', I don't buy in to all that I'm afraid, it's perception.

People's points are just getting ridiculous because at the beginning you had people talking about their guests comfort and not embarrassing them if they had sweaty feet or athletes foot, now you are talking about people behaving in a formal way.

If you're talking about wearing shoes in a more formal manner, because the upper classes don't want to look at my socks, well ok. But that doesn't make anyone better.

Take off my shoes at my house.
I politely ask workmen to take their shoes off.
I politely ask guests to remove their shoes.
I take my shoes off in other people's houses.
Keeping ones shoes on is disrespectful and rude. Nothing to do with class. It's about basic manners. And cleanliness.
Shoes off in the house.
Gavel.

'Keeping ones shoes on is disrespectful and rude.'

Oh for fuck's sake.

Do you even know what 'rude' means? Rude means not complying with the wishes of the host.

I would think you very rude if you took your shoes off when coming into my house. Extremely bloody rude in fact.

Happy to help!

Thanks for that, squoosh.
Your post is rude.

Diddums.

This comes up all the time.

I don't expect people to take their shoes off - particularly not people like meter readers, they'd be taking them on and off all bloody day!

I would hate to be asked to remove my shoes in somebody's home. It would make me very uncomfortable.

Hilarious. The trivial act of taking your shoes off is now "rude" and makes people feel "uncomfortable".
God knows how some of the posters on here manage to cope with major life issues...

Why do some posters think it is rude to remove shoes?

I always ask when entering people's houses what they prefer. Is that rude as well?

I hate shoes in the house especially on my rug and carpet up the stairs and on landing, but I never ask people to take their shoes off. I mop my floors and have a carpet washer.
I would never ask a tradesman to take off their shoes. But I inwardly cringe if they have to walk upstairs.
My dh asks why I hate it so much do I realise we have a dog that walks and lies everywhere...

It's really quite simple, if the person whose home it is wants you take your shoes off, you take them off. If they don't want you to take your shoes off then don't.

But don't assume that not automatically taking your shoes off is 'rude'. It should be quite clear from this thread that many, many people don't want you to.

I'm sure there will be someone to tell you that asking is rude.
It's probably working class to ask.
Or middle class.
Or even upper.
Hell, even the queen schleps round BuckHouse sans shoes. And with shoes.

We take shoes off in the house. We ask visitors to do the same.

I ask or simply watch my host when I'm at another house, because I do NOT want to be walking around in my socks in a shoes-on household. On carpets that have had outdoor shoes trod all over them... I find it just yuck. So if the hosts keep their shoes on, so do I!

You just do whatever the household does... on or off. If it's shoes-off and you have a special need to keep shoes on, just say so.

I never ask my elderly in-laws to remove their shoes, as it's too much of a struggle for them... but then it's not like they've been romping through the park and the mud and the dirty city streets and the dogshit on their way here!