To think these are all a bunch of charmers

[AgaPanthers]

Police called to investigate domestic abuse case.

They get through to voicemail, forget to hang up, call victim a slag

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/feb/19/police-woman-slag-voicemail-alleged

She responds by posing in the Daily Mail with her abuser, and dropping the charges.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2562879/Police-left-foul-mouthed-rant-calling-domestic-violence-victim-f-ing-b-ch-VOICEMAIL.html

Such an inspiring bunch of people.

I cant believe people think its acceptable that they called her a slag, regardless of the fact she wasnt supposed to her it or if she was waisting their time or not.

So if say your hv is supposed to come round at a certain time and doesnt turn up until youve left it would be ok for her to call you a slag?

Catsize - The Guardian never asterisk-out letters, it's the same in the print version too. They assume their readers are grown ups.

Men, among themselves, use all kinds of harsh and sometimes obscene pejoratives about people who are idiots - decent men are no different.

You're free to disapprove of how other people express themselves to each other, if you like.

The mistake here is in broadcasting a private conversation.

Alfal ypi obviously know some lovely men

You even

Their attitude to a vulnerable victim of a crime is disgusting.

Still not seeing where she wasted their time. She told them when she would be at home- they didnt turn up.

seabright, I hadn't realised. And a bit of a daft assumption on their part. I started reading newspapers at about 8. Can't be the only one. Maybe I am a bit prudish, but at least a few ***s send out the message to a young reader that this is not acceptable language.

Moomin - do you think men you know do not open up with harsh talk amongst themselves? I know men of all social strata who would not dream of inflicting any of the s/c words or politically incorrect stuff or whatever else (not everyone swears a lot for instance) on their family, missus workmates etc., but will open up like an international insult competition with certain other friends. It is pretty normal.

Its not bearsprout. Many men dont see women as 'something else' other than them. They see them as human beings just like the men they also work with. The ones who only talk like that in front of other men are men who have problems with women in general and dont respect them.

Not all men believe themselves to be part of a secret boys' club.

Yeah, alright then. :)

It's sad that you dont know decent men or even beleive they exist.

I'm not sure why you think that, in all honesty, but it seems rooted in the idea that men who talk to each other in a way that does not please you, can't be decent men.

I think everyone will survive that, but thanks for your concern. :)

*believe

Men who call women slags and bitches arent decent men. If all the men you know do that then they arent decent men. To say 'they all do it' is rubbish and making excuses for arsehole men rather than saying 'no this isnt acceptable'.

I work for the police with victims and witnesses. Dh is a sergeant. I would be disgusted to think of a colleague referring to a victim in those terms. I hope they are sacked

The actual voicemail is here:

www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/birmingham-domestic-abuse-victims-fury-6728537

I'm not really much of a voice analyst, my transcription:

"Fucking bitch. I specifically . And do you know I specifically said, you're not gonna give us the runaround are ya? Naaaaah. Oh I'll press charges, she said. Stupid fucking slag."

It's not 100% clear though, he could have said something other than slag. But I don't think so.

"And nothing in the article does say that she is posing with her attacker."

Erm, yes it does.

"The second officer then referred to writing their own version of her witness statement after her boyfriend Dean Hannon, 19, was arrested for assault."

The picture is then captioned

"Alex Faragher, pictured with her boyfriend Dean Hannon, said hearing the voicemail message felt like being assaulted all over again"

and at the end of the article

"Miss Faragher has dropped the charges against Mr Hannon and been reconciled with him."

First of all the photo may have been taken before the attack and second of all, anyone who knows anything about the victims of domestic abuse knows that it can be very frustrating to try to help them as they do tend to go back.
I am shocked at the attitude of many of the posters here who are criticizing the victim. I might have too before I suffered domestic abuse, I'm almost glad I did as I'm not half so smug anymore

Given the solemn faces and strangely posed phone on the couple picture, it doesn't look like an old photo of the couple.

The unanswered question is about the back story. Does the couple have a history of calling the police and then retracting? How has she behaved with the police on previous occasions? That doesn't justify their choice of wording, but if she has a history of calling out the police and being awkward with them, their frustration would be much more understandable than an isolated event. The Guardian report of a complaint is fair enough, but the Daily Mail sad facing, and exposing your reconciled boyfriend publicly as an abusive relationship while appearing to be back with them doesn't display her in the most sympathetic light. It seems odd to draw the extra attention onto themselves and pose for it. Surely most couples in that position would minimise public attention, and keep to the mimimum identifying details, and not advertise the nature of their relationship.

Bear yes I know men who would refer to women as slags, they are not decent men though.

Why is he in the sadface photo with her? The fucking idiot. the whole world( readership of the daily mail) knows he assaulted her.

Referring to a woman as a slag shows a deep rooted hatred of women. I know plenty of men who would not only not use the word themselves but would be pretty disgusted if a colleague did. The fact that such a nasty misogynistic term is bandied about so freely speaks volumes.

Blaming the victim for staying with her partner is horrid. She's 19, and not surprisingly probably feels totally unsupported.

This is a really nasty thread

The difference- she is a 19year old girl and they are professional police officers.

bearsprout:

a) there is a difference between harsh language and misogynist language

b) they were not "among themselves" down the pub- they were at work, acting in a professional capacity, even if they did not realise they were being overheard

OP what is your point

pulling up the officers for their unprofessional conduct and nasty misogynistic attitude (worrying to think they shall be called out for many dv situations) or for her getting back with her abusive partner

it happens, more often than not a woman will call the police (or someone else will) a few times before leaving, because their strength emotionally and physically beaten out of them this is why women (and men) need support to move on from these damaging relationships