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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Homeless with son. Should I live in a tent? Or on a beach somewhere?

219 replies

SwimmingClose · 19/02/2014 00:09

I live in the south of England.

I have one child.

I have a serious chronic illness.

I cannot afford to top-up my housing benefit any more. After one year, my savings are now gone.

I worked for 25 years. My parents worked all their lives.

I will be homeless.

Its seemingly impossible to find a Landlord, Social Housing, etc without a Guarantor. I cannot find anyone unless I have a rent 'Guarantor' (which I don't have).

Any thoughts? Just don't know what to do.

Feel weird about it all too. Not sure what to do. Should I live in a tent, etc? Feel very marginalised and strange situation, horrible really.

OP posts:
hickorychicken · 19/02/2014 07:32

Well its very simple seek out social housing or leave your son homeless.
This thread is unreal, people giving really good advice and called scummy Hmm

Also, shelter are really helpful imo ive a friend who they helped.

Thattimeofyearagain · 19/02/2014 07:39

Sober up & re post in Legal with nc & available facts.
& stop feeling sorry for your LL, its par for the course.

EddieBlizzard · 19/02/2014 07:40

What a thread Shock

I was in this situation. It seems immoral to have to basically get yourself evicted in these situations but it's immoral that the housing departments work in such a way that you HAVE to do this or they consider you intentionally homeless.

I find it hard to believe you're ignoring all this advice, from people like me that have been there and done that. It's a nasty situation all round and being a martyr because it feels immoral won't make it better, house you or keep your son safe and warm Hmm

We are categorically telling you that this is how it is nationwide and that your options are that or end up on the street.

You have a son, why on earth would you intentionally chose to live on the street with him? Confused

Chinny Reckon...

TheXxed · 19/02/2014 07:40

WipsGlitter if you do not have the means to maintain your property then perhaps you shouldn't be a landlord.

If you want to avoid rent arrears then vet your Tennant's carefully.

hickorychicken · 19/02/2014 07:47

I think you can vet tenants all you like but sometimes situations change. My MIL is in a similar situation at the moment although her kids are older.
And with the government cuts all over the place there will be more and more situations like this.
The council will help you OP.
Can I just ask, you infer that you dont really have anybody where you are so would you consider moving to a cheaper part of the country? I know its not that simple and easily done, but it can be done.

HairyGrotter · 19/02/2014 07:55

I've been in this situation whilst pregnant...it's stressful and I was only housed temporarily on the day I had given birth by c-section and I STILL wasn't such a sort as to have an attitude to others who tried to help!

OP, yes it IS a stressful time, listen to the advice, stop being a selfish martyr and fulfil your parental duties by putting your child's needs first BEFORE your pride and attitude

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 19/02/2014 08:19

I have been in this situation.
private let.
2 disabled children
I am also disabled.
I also years ago, used to work in the housing dept of a different borough council. So I knew the rules!

there is a thing called statutorily homeless. This means although not physically homeless, you are defined as such in accordance with the legislation.

there is also a state called intentionally homeless. Councils use this in order to avoid helping! It includes but is not liminted to rent arrears, anti social behaviour and I am sorry to say not waiting until physically evicted! Sorry, but it is true. It is not fair, but if someone leaves willingly rather than forceably, they consider you allowed yourself to become homeless.

the fact they shouldnt do it is neither here nor there.

they do it.

so what are your choices?

leave the home with your child and have nowhere to go because you want to not be unfair to the landlord?
stay in the home and force eviction in order to keep a roof over your childs head?
I was at one point told my children could be put into foster care, was told we could end up in bandb or temp home. The uncertainty is soul destroying.
you dont have the luxury of a good pain free choice here.
your options are all shitty.
but you have to do whatever you have to do in order to not end up with no roof over your childs head and no consideration is higher than that and if that means you have to do something that youd really rather not, then I am afraid thats just tough.
I am really sorry you are facing this but you have got to deal with it, whatever it takes,

TitsalinaBumSquash · 19/02/2014 08:21

Well this thread is.... Interesting.

I'm not sure what went awry.

OP - I can't afford to live in my private rented house any longer, the tenancy is due for renewal and I can't afford to continue the £300 a month top up after housing benefit, I fear my so and I will be homeless.

Everyone on MN - go to the council, tell them the facts, they will help you.

OP - All caps rage, starts shouting that you're all nasty and abusive and clearly living on a different planet..

Confused I'm confused.

Ballsballsballs · 19/02/2014 08:37

OP, call Shelter and take their advice.

It's a PITA having to be evicted to get help, but needs must. Good luck.

londonrach · 19/02/2014 08:38

We went privately and have never heard of a 300 rent increase ever and we are in london. If this thread is real you dont have to agree to this. Just keep paying what you are and talk to the council and cab today. You have had good advice and i can see you scared but you achieve more with honey. Good luck

MrsMagnificent · 19/02/2014 08:47

OP Have you actually approached your local council to explain your situation?

You will be put in temporary accommodation once you have been evicted. Could be a B&B or a shared flat but it's better than a tent.

It's maybe not a long-term fix but have you looked at renting a caravan near where you stay?

MrsMagnificent · 19/02/2014 08:47

Also why is your rent being increased by £300. It seems an excessive amount.

eddielizzard · 19/02/2014 09:01

MiscellaneousAssortment has got amazing advice. please at least read her post.

Bagofnutsnbolts · 19/02/2014 09:04

Hmmm something doesn't feel quite right here
the tone of voice seems very similar to two other posts one regarding PIL withdrawing monies and its related thread sure I'm wrong though.

Lj8893 · 19/02/2014 09:04

Right, so you currently are not homeless. But you can't afford to top up your hb anymore and can't find a new lease elsewhere. I understand all of what you are saying (been there myself before you accuse me of being our of touch etc)

Go to the council, get yourself on the housing register, then you can start bidding for properties. But you will have to carry on living in your current property in the meantime, weather you can pay the rent or not (although the council may be able to help you with this).
If you leave on your own accord, you will have intentionally made yourself homeless and then yes, a tent might have to do.
If you get evicted, the council will have a duty to house you, even if that is temporary accommodation (but better than a tent).
I know its not nice having to make your landlord evict you, but its your only option, and is what's best for your child.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/02/2014 09:08

I thought it wasn't rent going up, there has always been a gap between HB and rent which OP has topped up from savings. Savings have now run out. So this situation was predictable savings/£300 months ago.

MrsMagnificent · 19/02/2014 09:13

Ah I see...

fideline · 19/02/2014 09:26

Think OP might have burgered orf Sad

hickorychicken · 19/02/2014 09:29

Sobered up more like.

fideline · 19/02/2014 09:36

Cummon Hicks, she was being attacked by scum!!! Nasty nasty scum!!!!! Mocking her entirely reaonable posts!!!!

Vile, vile, unbelievable scumm!!!! (TM) in fact.

You'd travel back in time and get roaring pissed in anticipation too.

MothratheMighty · 19/02/2014 09:40

I'm in the south.
Don't pitch your tent on the beach, it's a bit stormy round here. You'll either be swept out to sea, or a large chunk of cliff will fall on you.

hickorychicken · 19/02/2014 09:41

Brilliant Grin

My fave part was when she basically said other posters were mocking her for living in a tent!!!
I suspect a swift NC Grin

fideline · 19/02/2014 09:42

Did she want us to chip in for the tent?

waltermittymissus · 19/02/2014 09:42

Well, that escalated quickly!

Could you have a frank conversation with LL? Explain the situation. Get them to write you the letter and then you can both move on.

*I don't know anything about tenancies so don't know if this is possible.

waltermittymissus · 19/02/2014 09:42

Homeless is living under a bridge

Well, by that definition...

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