AIBU re pain relief in childbirth?

[MogwaiTheGremlin]

Just been for my booking in appointment at the hospital and one of the questions related to my first labour with ds. They asked what pain relief I had and I said 'oh everything. pethidine, gas & air and then an epidural' to which the midwife replied "oh aren't you the greedy one"

I found my first labour horrendous - nowhere near as bad as some of the horror stories I've read on here - but I hated every second of it. ds was back-to-back and I didn't cope with the pain at all well. After failing to progress I was prepped for c section and ended up delivering in theatre via ventouse.

I am terrified of giving birth again and am counting on an epidural to get me through. But attitudes like this really scare me because it feels like pain relief is not as forthcoming as it should be.

This hospital has a reputation for completely natural births so I'm thinking maybe I should switch to somewhere that is more likely to give me the drugs I know I will need.

AIBU to be annoyed by the midwife's comment? Am I overreacting by thinking of switching hospitals?

Sing I'm not ordering one in advance confused but I want to know that IF I need one on the day it will be freely available

Ordering one in advance was an option posed to me when I said there is no way I could go through labour again after 1st time. The consultant was extremely supportive of my fears and assured me I could have one , It was meeting with the Head MW to discuss this further that made up my mind to an ELC, because head MW was on a different planet and not listening to me,it was like she was brain washed!

So, so what if you want to order one ....you have been though labour and had problems sorting out now what will help you is a good idea?!

My consultant also said there is no real evidence it slows you down,she said women who want them are usually in more pain because of addedd problems so would have been slow anyway

"Minifingers the reason for mentioning those women is that you said women don't die of exhaustion and pain during childbirth. They do."

Evidence?

In 1953 in the UK the caesarean section rate was 3%. The maternal death rate was 0.3 deaths per 1000 births. Far and away the main causes of maternal death were postnatal haemorrhage and eclampsia. This suggests that women expiring from pain in labour was vanishingly rare in the days before epidurals were widely available. Epidurals (which weren't epidurals in the form we know them) weren't in common use in the UK until the 1970's.

"You say that in healthy women, in the absence of disease, childbirth is usually uncomplicated. However, such women also have access to modern inventions such as antenatal care and antibiotics, and these are also part of the reason for uncomplicated outcomes".

I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not denying the benefits of modern midwifery antenatal care and scans. But I am pointing out that once we know a mother is healthy and low risk the chances of her having a normal birth are very high, if she's given optimal care. Antenatal care contributes to the outcomes only by identifying those women who need treatment and monitoring. The straightforward births are entirely down to the fact that the mother is healthy and her body is functioning normally.

"So you cannot use this as evidence that we are well designed/suited to childbirth, because you have no idea how much of the good outcomes are down to physiology and how many are down to modern care."

I have every idea. Healthy women are not given any treatment on the NHS, they are simply identified. The only impact antenatal care has had is to give them a green light to give birth away from an obstetric setting.

"which is why I wouldn't and didn't suggest that epidurals improve clinical outcomes. We sure as fuck can't say they make them worse, though."

Well, the society of obstetric anaesthetists says they lead to higher rates of fetal distress, women becoming febrile in labour, 1 in a 100 dural tap, higher rates of forceps and ventouse deliveries, and no decrease in c/s rate. That will do for me. I appreciate that women who are denied the pain relief they need may develop PTSD (as may women who have epidurals which don't work or which result in worrying or unpleasant side-effects). I don't think it's rational to try to find a way of 'offsetting' this against the side effects and risks of epidurals. That's not how it works. They don't cancel each other out.

"My consultant also said there is no real evidence it slows you down,she said women who want them are usually in more pain because of addedd problems so would have been slow anyway"

It doesn't matter if the labour slows down with an epidural, because 1) you're not usually in any pain and 2) they can blast you with loads of syntocinon to speed your labour up.

Mini, Care to share some statistics about mental health or are you just going to quote about physical outcomes (whilst failing to also cover information about serious tears and long term complications).

Personally I feel that many of these statistics are utterly meaningless and don't fully reflect the full experience of many women. I don't think I've once seen you comment on the psychological outcomes of birth - particularly for women who have been denied pain relief when they have requested it.

Oh wait.... has anyone actually bothered to do any research on this?

Oh. Wonder why.

That was exactly my problem red, the head MW kept shaking her head at my wonderful text book first birth details! she kept saying how lucky I was to have such a quick first labour and so on...

she even said women just dont understand how great the birth pool is.

I said I understand it very well, i could not physically get into it as i was in too much pain.

anyway, i was one of the lucky ones and was able to secure a wonderful ELC second time round and it was the right choice for me.

The pain and trauma was horrific. and I had good mw care aside from the denial of the epidural!

Ask to see the anesthiatist (cant spell it. I give up !) as i found them the most reassuring person in connection to both labours.

Its nice to find a person who appears to be in control. Bloody midwives at our hospital were not. Either time.

In my birth plan I said I wanted to try for a natural birth......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I ended up going straight from a TENS machine to an epidural, I am someone who winces when they pluck their eyebrows so how the hell I thought I was going to go natural is beyond me.

The midwives raised their eyebrows a bit and suggested gas and air, which made me throw up, this was given to me whilst waiting for the anaesthetist to "finish his tea"!!! Dh advised them it would be easier, less sweary and a whole lot quieter for all concerned if he came along pronto and got the epidural in. He did. And it was.

Another Northern hospital....thank god!!

Epidurals aren't always the best way to go - a friend's labour was progressing fine, she had an epidural for pain relief, and everything just stopped. She ended up having to have an emergency c section.

Of course they aren't but, like other forms of 'intervention', sometimes it is the lessor of two evils. I don't think anybody thinks 'hey stick a needle in my spine for the fun of it' but it should be an option for those who simply can't manage the level of pain - for whatever reason.
I got to the point where I genuinely wanted to die rather than suffer a minute longer. I was screaming at them to rip the fucking baby out of me so an emergency c section would have been a blessed relief. That's not to belittle c sections, I know what a major deal they are, but honestly the pain I felt was indescribable.

I got to the point where I genuinely wanted to die rather than suffer a minute longer

Me too after a piss easy four hour birth with dd1 . I thought the anti Christ was coming with dd2

I think at your next appointment you need to bring up pain relief and your concerns. Hopefully from the discussion you will have a better understanding about whether the hospital is for you or not. You can't go the rest of your pregnancy worrying about this.

I did a free hypnobirthing course run by our midwives & found it very useful when panicking during pregnancy & internal exams etc. gave me a better mental perspective.

Also extremely helpful was that I saw a consultant anaesthetist. I was trying for a vbac & saw him about the csection if things didn't work out, but he also went through all the rest of it. I can highly recommend Remifentenal, if your hospital does it. He explained it was one step down from an epidural (which I didn't want as the whole back & needles thing freaks me out.)

Good luck