To dread flying because of my size?

[annauk1]

I am going on holiday in a few days. I should be really happy but the flight is really making me not want to go.

I flew last year and needed a belt extension which was fine, wasn't much of a problem, but the thing that petrifies me most is that DP and I won't be able to sit together and if I end up sitting next to a nasty person who is ' a fat-phobe' and huffs and puffs at me the whole 3 hours for taking up more than my (tiny) seat space. I am flying with Monarch who are notorius for their tiny seats. I am a size 26 btw.

Aahh fat shaming is still alive and well on mn

Aahh fat shaming is still alive and well on mn

so we just stick any word in front of shaming now do we and it is a real thing ? nobody is shaming anybody

Stumbled
But the airlines require you to sit in a seat for H&S reasons so you do have a seat because the airlines insist you are in one i.e. once they have agreed to transport you by letting you board the plane then they have agreed to transport you in a seat so you do have a seat. I think there is a clear implied term that you have a seat allocated for your use on a flight once you have been accepted as a passenger on that flight.

what Chaz said of course you have a seat planes need seats everybody is allocated a seat where that seat is either first come first served or you book it so you can sit where you want,

I was a size 28 and used to dread this. The seatbelt extension request is one of the worst and most embarrassing to have to ask.

A little tip - keep the cap of a water bottle to place over the seat reclining button, otherwise thighs tend to trigger this off at random! Not cool for the person behind.

I could never get the tray down either. I'm now a size 18 and life is a lot easier.

Good luck OP!

It is not 'fat shaming'. It is a public health issue. Presumably op was once a size ten and then a twelve and then a fourteen before she was a size twenty? How to help people before they get to this scale?0

To the people moaning about fat shaming, did you not pick up on this little beauty of a comment?

Pff size 14 is not fat, it is what a normal person looks like.

So what does that make anyone under a size 14?

Abnormal??

I just choose not to fly. Flying alone is bad enough.

Size fourteen is overweight and might lead to dither problems. No one starts off as size twenty. Size fourteen is the time for preventative intervention.

I'd have taken it as meaning average size, worra
As in, not exactly slim, but average, iykwim? Could be wrong though...

I love the suggestions of just flying business class.

Excuse me while I go foraging in my arse for an extra £1k.

I don't think it's fair to call someone a fat phobe or nasty person for wanting their personal space. I am a size 10 with low blood pressure (so a fainter) and remember getting a 4 hour coach journey as a young girl on a boiling hot July day sitting next to an overweight man who spilled over onto my seat so was basically pressed against me the whole way. Absolutely horrible for me and I almost blacked out with the discomfort and what an infringement on my personal space. If you take up more than one seat, book more than one seat.

Not a fat phobe at all but it's entitled to think that you can impinge on others and that they're the ones with the problem.

"Pff size 14 is not fat, it is what a normal person looks like."

That entirely depends on your height and build. I am 5'7" and could get away with a 14. My 5' nothing friend looks very overweight in a 14.

That probably is what it means Flogging

But since people who aren't fat shaming seem to be getting accused of it, I'm just pointing out that wording can be taken out of context.

So if someone said "Size 20 is not what a normal person looks like"

They might actually mean average too, but others could see it as fat shaming when it's just poorly worded IYSWIM?

Makes sense to me anyway

"preventative measures"-what round anyone up who is over a size 14 and send them to fat camp?

People come in all shapes and sizes-get over it. Stop reading trashy mags that make you believe anyone over a sie 8 is huge and read Fat is a feminist issue instead.

yanbu op.

I've been given dirty looks as I sit down.. with my legs just about crossed in to themselves to take up no space...

But the 5'5 man next to me (with the bollocks the size of footballs obviously) has to sit with his legs spread in to my area and taking up my arm rest!

Surely fat people know that they are fat, no mater much people pussyfoot around them? Just on flights and public transport and NHS costs mean that it is in all our faces?

Wow how astute of you chipping-yes fat people know they are fat-and your point is? You would like them to hang their heads in shame,put them in the stocks,ostracise and ridicule them? Oh no wait-society already does that last one

I'm a crap flyer and fall into the claustrophobic panic attack/fainting category of passenger. Total wimp.

I've been anxious about my imminent long-haul flight (first in eight years) since the time of booking. I have my own ways of coping to minimise the likelihood of passing out: Drinking plenty of water. Blocking out the trapped feeling by distracting myself with other things (films, books, music or whatever). Walking to the loo and back although actually being in the loo doesn't help. I also try to use these techniques discreetly so fellow passengers don't notice that I'm weird anxious.

I'm certainly not "nasty" or a "fat-phobe" but I would probably freak out really struggle if I had to sit next to someone who took up half of my seat as well as their own. I'd also be annoyed if you took offence to my "huffing and puffing" when your encroachment onto my space was the reason for a bit of 'breathe in breathe out' on my part - anything to avoid puking/fainting/or both.

It's completely my choice to fly despite my irrational fear reservations. I do understand that. But why worsen an experience that many of us already dread?

OP I'd call the airline on this occasion and see if they can suggest anything. And in future, perhaps you and DP could consider booking three seats between you and budgeting accordingly in future?

It might sound very harsh but if I were you and just couldn't afford to pay for two seats/a bigger seat/business class I wouldn't go. It is completely unacceptable to take up somebody else's seat. I have been squashed under a very overweight person for a long flight. The person was lovely but could see that I was really uncomfortable, didn't say anything though, I think they were embarrassed. I spent much of the flight standing while they eat both mine and my husbands cake. They said how nice it was, so we offered ours because we didn't want it.

Of course kendodd-anyone over a size 14 should be banned from flying,or going swiming,or lying on a beach in a bikini

Nice little quip about them eating your cake too. Lovely.

Anyone who might cause other passengers to be uncomfortable should be banned and forced to hire a private jet. Snorers. Fat people. Smelly people. Children. Old people who moan loudly. People who read broadsheet newspapers. People who listen to music on headphones so loud we all have to listen to it. People who watch TV on their ipads without headphones so we all have to listen to it. People who eat loudly. People who crunch boiled sweets. People who fart a lot. People who pick at their nails and flick the bits everywhere. Ban all the fuckers.

OR. We could remember that it's public transport, and they have just as much right to get from A to B as you. And you can nicely ask the cabin crew if you could move. And if you can't, then you'll have to get over it. All kinds of people annoy us in all kinds of ways.

Glad you felt able to come back on, OP, and I do hope you have a good holiday. However, you are still planning to take up part of someone else's seat as you know in advance you will not fit into yours. Hopefully it will not be a full flight and you can ask the flight attendants to move you if someone is seated next to you.

I fully support everyone being as polite to each other as possible, but for future flights, planning in advance to make a fellow passenger uncomfortable is not nice. You need to book two seats.

OR. We could remember that it's public transport, and they have just as much right to get from A to B as you. And you can nicely ask the cabin crew if you could move. And if you can't, then you'll have to get over it. All kinds of people annoy us in all kinds of ways.

OR, we could do our best not to encroach on others and make their journey more of a misery than it has to be.

I think everyone should do this, regardless of their size...whether that means turning their music down, reading a smaller newspaper, eating more quietly or booking two seats if you cant fit in one.

Do you think this woman news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/2346319.stm should just 'get over it' as well?