Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why there is no will to make parents pay

105 replies

Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 15:36

Just wondering why there is such lack of will by political classes of all types

To make absent parents pair there fair share my ds is 14 and I have had now over the years I was once offered £5 a week by the CSA but I was told that I would have to provide NI details, bank details ECt for ex Confused how would I get that from a ex

if I didn't feed or my child warm ss would class this as neglect but this is pretty much tolerated from a absent parent

There seems to be no real sanctions and if you are lucky to get them to pay the amount is tiny which makes me laugh

*i think a lot of welfare issues could be sorted if absent parent was made to pay there share
Many rely on welfare because the absent parent is not doing there share.

My auntie lives in the states and her ex was jailed for 3 months until he paid his child supported he still refused so a order was made his home and car was sold what was owed was given to her and the change to him

He now pays his child support on time every month*

Sorry just having a rant

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 18:41

Steff

If you do manage to get some money is usually pittance so the RP still has to claim benefits also it's well known for self employed it's very difficult

Or were the NPR earns a low awage but there over all family income is huge or the well known one is they simply quite there job rather than pay

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/02/2014 18:41

Boo hoo. I'm crying a river for these workshy NRPs who think the taxpayer should pick up the tab for their kids. Most people I knew in the US made damn sure they used birth control, even double up BC, as you knew if you made a child, you were going to be expected to pay towards it.

bongobaby · 12/02/2014 18:47

The csa can remove NRP driving licence, apply charging orders on their house if they own it. But it is a long and drawn out process that is available to do, but it takes about eighteen months to apply charging orders and basically not worth the hassle to the csa as they have heavy caseloads and can't be arsed.
What happens now that the new rules are going to charge both parents to use the csa, it's a joke to do this to RP and an insult.

bongobaby · 12/02/2014 18:49

Sadoldbag sadly true to form and not surprising your sisters ex

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 18:49

Well I wouldn't brother the CSA again

I guess ex non payment just further demonstrates what a cock ex is

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 18:50

To ds I should of finished

OP posts:
AfricanExport · 12/02/2014 18:56

I think it should be a criminal offence to not support your children. I would like to see people in jail for this.

Also not against forced sterilisation of people who habitually have children they do not support. I do not think this is a human rights issue as children also have rights. a right to be loved and supported by two parents.

mumandboys123 · 12/02/2014 19:10

My ex is one of these men - self employed so has been able to cook the books to minimize his liability and then not pay because it takes so long to get anywhere. He is currently £15k in debt and counting. Our youngest is not yet 5.

He has no shortage of women ready to live with him - we are on number 4 currently. They have all had their own children (so presumably were all single mums and presumably all claim maintenance from their ex) and you don't have to go very far to find friends and family who will support the case for the 'evil ex wife' who wants everything she can get. Like most single parents I know, I work full-time and my childcare costs are the size of a small mortgage each month.

I have lost count of the number of people who have told me 'well, at least he still sees them' like that makes him some kind of saint. I personally think disappearing all together is more...honest? Turning up at parent's evening when you couldn't care less whether your child has eaten for the last 5 years gets a bit galling!!

DrCoconut · 12/02/2014 19:35

I do think that maintenance should be taken into account when calculating benefits. Why should someone getting lots of money also get lots of benefits when people in need do without? The idea is surely that the NRP pays rather than the state? Also a current partner of a NRP should not have their income assessed, it's not their doing and they should not be penalised. I am separated from DS1's dad and DH has no previous children so am not an OW with a grudge against a step DC or anything like that. Just that fair should be across the board. I also get no maintenance and am more than happy to pay my own and DS's way.

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 19:39

Dr why the hell not

The income of the RP get taken into account

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 12/02/2014 20:00

My lovely ds1 is 17 in April. His 'father' has done everything he can to avoid paying maintenance including sending someone else to DNA test, faking his own death to CSa, not responding to any paperwork, etc
So they got an order for nearly £15,000 and sent the baliffs in. He is suddenly complying and as of the end of this month will pay £68 pounds a month (for three months) then he MUST come up with some money.
He is a nasty, lying,conniving bastard and I have started to get threats and ridiculously demand a DNA test. What an arsehole....... I hope they take him to the cleaners

CremeEggThief · 12/02/2014 20:00

NRPs should be forced to pay 50% of the cost of bringing up their children and the penalties for not paying should be enforced properly and a lot tougher, IMO.

My ex earns approximately £3000 after tax per month and only has to pay 15% of that for DS, whereas I work part-time and rely on tax credits and housing benefit and am expected to pay 85% of DS' s upbringing. It is not fair on all of the RPs and DCs who are in similar, or even worse, positions Angry.

Standinginline · 12/02/2014 20:03

Sorry ,why should new partners wages be taken into consideration when it comes Child Support ? Confused

bongobaby · 12/02/2014 20:15

It's a sad state that nobody in Government cares. If women behaved like this it would be a different story and are arses would be put in jail. As women we are looked down upon in society for being single parents. But we are the main bread winners that feed, clothe and put shoes on our kids. It's about time the Government ran ad compaign on TV highlighting parents that don't pay for their offspring and how wrong it is. A bit like the show cowboy builders where they go after them and shame them.

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 12/02/2014 20:39

Standing line

When my sisters ex took her to court for contact they took her and her partners wage into account when caul acting how much she would get even though ds is not DPS child and they had only been living together for 7 months at the time when

Anything a mother applies for Her new partners wage gets taken into account even though they are not related to the child

So why should the mans new parentes be exempt

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/02/2014 20:45

'Sorry ,why should new partners wages be taken into consideration when it comes Child Support ? confused'

Because they are a family unit. A person with a child comes as a package. Don't like it? Find someone with no kids or who is enough of a person to make it a priority to support his/her kids the best he/she can.

Tabliope · 12/02/2014 20:56

When my DS hits 18 his father will have contributed less than £5 a week since he was born. The CSA is shambolic. Tougher measures need to be brought in faster. It takes an age to get anywhere. It's utterly soul destroying chasing the CSA - they lose your file, it gets passed round departments, you never know who you're speaking to, mistakes get made, things don't get done unless you nag, it's too easy for the man to pull the wool over their eyes. If my DS ever tried to do this with someone who has had his child I will take her side completely and I think I'd fall out with him. It's so wrong.

Standinginline · 12/02/2014 20:57

Well instead of saying the income of NRP's partner should be taken into account ,it should be NO partners income should be taken into account. Don't agree that it should be for one and not the other.
Partner and I have seperate finances ,and it's privately arranged. I've never paid ,and I'll never pay his Child support. However he's never had it reduced even after having two kids with me and pays as if he never has the kids overnight even though he in fact has them 50/50. In turn his kids mother accepts that some weeks during the winter he can't work because of weather so receives no maintenance ,but the over throughout the year he pays usually evens itself out overall. Think this lets me off the hook quite a bit.

mummywithsmiles · 12/02/2014 20:58

Having this problem at the moment , daughters dad earns 1900 after tax etc... He offered me 20 pound a week..and he sys because he lives in theisle of ,man.. CSA have no durastiction

nickymanchester · 12/02/2014 21:01

CremeEggThief

Can I ask you a question?

Did you allow your ex to have a 50/50 split of childcare?

If not, might I suggest that allowing him to do this will help you in reducing costs and give you more chance to be able to arrange full time work.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2014 21:04

All partners income should be taken into account.

It is ridiculous that a parent should set up home with someone else and completely neglect their first obligations. If you don't want to be counted as a couple don't live together.

nickymanchester · 12/02/2014 21:04

Anything a mother applies for Her new partners wage gets taken into account even though they are not related to the child

So why should the mans new parentes be exempt

This is because she is applying for benefits for herself and not for her child.

In this situation it is quite right that the income of any partner she is living with should be taken into account.

Child maintenance is for the maintenance of the child - not the mother

Doasbedoneby · 12/02/2014 21:08

So posters are saying child maintenance should be based on the combined salary of a couple?

So 15,20 or 25% of combined salary + child benefit + tax credits.

I'd go for that my ex's partner earns a fortune.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 12/02/2014 21:15

I think the priority is making the non payers pay and changing the whole culture around it. - if there are two living parents that child should be supported by both.

Standinginline · 12/02/2014 21:17

How are they neglecting their first obligations just because their partner doesn't pay towards his maintenance ?

Swipe left for the next trending thread