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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask the older parents on MN

353 replies

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 11/02/2014 12:39

what you did in your day that would have got you sacked from MN today and potentially a visit from ss

I slept on my tummy, mother smoked when pregnant. .. and my nan thinks asprin is the best thing to give a baby for teething. And rice in my bottle from probably day one to get me off to sleep

OP posts:
storynanny · 12/02/2014 11:25

Is co sleeping sharing a bed with baby? If that is what it means it was frowned upon when I was a new money because of risk of squashing the baby in your sleep.

storynanny · 12/02/2014 11:25

Mum not money

getdownshep · 12/02/2014 12:31

My dmil smoked with dhs four siblings but not with him and she still comments that's why he was a huge baby, he was seven poundsGrin
When dmil went shopping his dsis sat at the other end of the pram and db lay in the wire basket underneath.
I was left alone when dm and df went to the pub behind our flats, probably dosed up on phenegan before they went.
I used to go and buy their cigs and tabacco from a young age.
Df took me swimming once when I was about five and lost me in the pool, I was quite happy bobbing around in my arm bands while he got dressed before wondering where I was
This was late 60s, early 70s.
I also drank Murphys stout and ate liver with pfb in 1989.

brooncoo · 12/02/2014 13:34

Peggyundercrackers "And after all that I'm fine, no ailments, have a normal life, I've not been harmed in any way, I'm still alive and after reading this so are a lot of other people... So why do we have all these new rules if we survived?"

Peggy, I very much resent and worry about the fact that my mum chain smoked through pregnancy, in fact my childhood was surrounded by smoke. Was a sickly child with coughs and sinus issues - god knows if any lasting damage was done. You're right though, we should go back to drink driving being acceptable and the norm and folk not bothering to strap their kids in and overloading the car etc.

TheScience · 12/02/2014 13:43

So why do we have all these new rules if we survived?

Surely so that more people survive? 900 fewer babies die of cot death every year now than they did in the 80s - that's a lot of people who didn't survive. Fewer children die in car crashes, fewer people develop digestive problems from being weaned early etc.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 14:05

WHile factually accurate.. please don't scare people off posting guys, I'm really enjoying the stories!

OP posts:
HighlanderMam · 12/02/2014 14:08

So why do we have all these new rules if we survived?

If you read my post at - Tue 11-Feb-14 22:36:34 you'd realise that on top of all the babies and children that are here today that wouldn't be thanks to the new rules/guidelines, there are many of us that are only still here by the skin of our teeth.

How many instances of 'close calls' do you think there are in the past regarding just the posters on this thread? Lots I think you'd find. Pure luck that a lot of us are still here, that we survived.

HighlanderMam · 12/02/2014 14:10

Sorry VegetariansTasteLikeChicken, I am enjoying the stories too.

That sort of throwaway remark really hit home for me though. I am lucky to still be here in sound body and mind. Very lucky.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 14:14

highlandermum your story about the man trying to break in was awful :( think that was bad parenting at any time though tbh :( sorry

OP posts:
MrsSippie · 12/02/2014 14:17

Going back to the hospital story. I had many many surgeries as a child from the age of two and my mother was not allowed anywhere near me unless it was in visiting hours :( I remember coming round from an operation on the ward once when I was about 6 and seeing her sitting outside, waiting for it to be 5 O clock or whatever. I started to cry and the boot faced matron said 'stop it! silly little girl' Awful really :(

HighlanderMam · 12/02/2014 14:19

Yes it is bad parenting at any time, but reading through this, many many posters say how they were left at home alone while parents went out/worked/went to the pub, sometimes even in charge of other children too.

Many were sent to the shops alone to buy things, I could have drowned that day. I bet there were many close calls like that in amongst the stories on here.

That's all, these new rules and guidelines are not just plucked out of thin air for fun. If you know better - you do better.

LaQueenOfHearts · 12/02/2014 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megrim · 12/02/2014 14:30

My dad fell in the washing tub in the outhouse as a toddler (would have been in the late 1920s). Fortunately the next door neighbour was pottering in her back garden and heard him and pulled him out. No way my granny would have heard him - she was as deaf as a post.

tallulah · 12/02/2014 17:58

My children were born 1986 to 1991. Henriettamaria with the first one I was told by the HV to start solids at 12 weeks or 12lbs, whichever came first. By the time DC2 was born only 18 mo later in 1987 the same HV told me not to start solids until 4 months or I'd damage his kidneys Shock

I was told to put them on their side to sleep, with a rolled-up blanket behind to stop them rolling over. My DM said we'd been put on our fronts, and was worried that if they rolled backwards they'd be sick, so the first 3 slept on their front. All 3 got head control early and learned to crawl before they sat up.

Then Anne Diamond's baby died, so DC4 born in 1991 slept on his back. He didn't sit up until 9 months and was a late crawler.

We used to all pick up from playgroup and drive to Tesco where we parked in a row in the new P&C spaces right by the windows. Then all the children were left in the cars while we shopped (only bits, not a whole week's shop).

I only stopped leaving them in the car the day I forgot to put the handbrake on, and the car rolled across the car park. The children demonstrated how "it went bump and we all went forward then backward, then it bumped again" Shock

We smacked, as did all our peers. We also bought a super kingsize (6ft wide) bed because every morning we'd wake up with 4 little bodies squashed in around us.

HerGraciousMajTheBeardedPotato · 12/02/2014 18:19

So why do we have all these new rules if we survived?

Because those who didn't survive aren't here to post about it!

fedupandfifty · 12/02/2014 18:41

I was born at home-midwife only just made it.
Bottle-fed from birth.
Mother smoked so born orange(allegedly).
Everyone smoked.
Played in street, with a loose gang of kids, from age 5. Got knocked over, too!
Had to recite pieces from Bible (faultlessly).
Had to go to Sunday School, regardless.
Sat 11 plus. Everyone took it, regardless of likelihood of passing. No tutoring.
No-one had money, so no activities.
There was an unspoken solidarity between parents.
Adults looked out for you, even if you were scared of them.
If you misbehaved, you were threatened with the children's home.
We threw stones at the "special" school bus.
Kids had polio and wore braces on their legs.
Everyone got measles. No big deal.

johnworf · 12/02/2014 18:45

tallulah snap! My older 3 were all born between those years too. By the time I had my 4th in 2008 it was completely different!!!

MrsDeVere · 12/02/2014 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakewelltartandcustard · 12/02/2014 19:03

In the 60s the doctor still did home visits and gave out prescriptions for antibiotics for every cough, cold or sore throat.
We walked home for dinner, mum thought school dinners were for children whose mothers couldn't cook.

maggiemight · 12/02/2014 19:09

Haven't read all 13 pages but wanted to comment on the coeliac comments on the early pages, thought by posters to be contributed to by Weetabix etc from an early age.

But I would say a lot more wheat products are eaten now by DCs than when mine were small (1980s) as I fed mine potatoes as the filler for most of their main meals (not often chips) whereas now there is more bread, pizza, cereal eaten now.

And for all the carefully researched childcare available now we appear, according to the media, to have record levels of anxiety and depression amongst DCs, even primary school age!

I wonder if the fact that DCs don't walk to and from school so much might have an influence. A half hour walk home was a great unwind after the frenetic school day for me, and also to a lesser extent my DCs.

Pixel · 12/02/2014 19:37

If you misbehaved, you were threatened with the children's home.

Oh yes, my mum used to phone the 'children's home' and ask them to come and collect us if we were naughty. Years later I found out she was dialling the speaking clock!

tallulah · 12/02/2014 19:57

johnworf we had a 5th in 2007. Bit of a shock all the changes Grin

Megrim · 12/02/2014 20:46

I still threaten mine with the children's home.

MrsDeVere · 12/02/2014 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta · 12/02/2014 22:17

I went to boarding school and threatened DS with it.

He said he quite likes Shrewsbury and asked when he could go. Hmm