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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think the last adult to bed checks doors?

30 replies

CheesyBadger · 11/02/2014 12:16

Dp just came home from work and told me quite frankly that I left the front door unlocked all night. I went to bed first...

I told him I assumed he would check and I assumed the last adult up always did this.

Assumption is not my friend it seems.

How does it work in your house and AIBU

P.s. dp is 2 days into giving up smoking and the world hates him

OP posts:

Fudgeface123 · 11/02/2014 12:18

I'm always first to bed so DP always locks up. I would also assume that the last one up checks that they are locked

Original poster

CheesyBadger · 11/02/2014 12:18

Me too... I do try not to assume much as we always seem to get crossed wires, but I thought this was safe

OP posts:

hootloop · 11/02/2014 12:21

I always check the door and take my key up with me when I go to bed. (In case of a fire I the living room or kitchen where the key cupboard is and I I can't get out).
I have no idea whether DH checks before he comes up.
We tend to have it licked all the time anyway though.

Poledra · 11/02/2014 12:24

Last one upstairs checks the doors, switches off the telly properly (i.e. not on standby), checks the cats are in and takes the dirty teacups out of the livingroom into the kitchen.

And I think it's not unreasonable to assume this, but I do remember getting bollocked by my dad when I was a teenager as I was last upstairs but assumed Dad had done the locking-up as he usually did....

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 11/02/2014 12:25

We lock up in the evening and then the last one up checks again.

SpookedMackerel · 11/02/2014 12:25

Dh left his keys in the outside of the front door all night the other day.

I usually check the front door is locked whether I o to bed first or last (but don't open it to check for keys on the outside). We keep it locked at all times, so it would be v unusual if it was unlocked at bedtime anyway. I'm pretty sure dh doesn't check, but have never actually asked him. I always check on DC before going to bed, I know dh doesn't do that.

However when we leave the house dh is the one who goes round and checks all the windows are closed, whereas I have form for leaving them wide open. So I suppose we each have an area that we assume the other will cover.

StillaChocoholic · 11/02/2014 12:25

I always check even if I am the first one up. Got into the habit of it when I was on my own and have stuck with it. Think husband checks aswell.

Hassled · 11/02/2014 12:27

If DH is here, he's last one up and so locks up. I then convince myself he's forgotten (which he never has) and get up again to double-check.

But cut your DP some slack - if he's 2 days into giving up smoking just agree with him about everything however wrong he is. Smile and nod.

Poledra · 11/02/2014 12:30

Spooked, we live near a pub. Heard a bunch of rather well-oiled chaps coming out one night, lots of laughter and shouting, then a knock on our door. I grumpily got up to answer it, ready to bollock the merry-makers for disturbing us, only to find they were knocking on the door because 'someone's left their keys in the lock, luv, we didn't think you'd notice.' (It hadn't been me, it had been DH, but still, I shouldn't have been so quick to judge).

Original poster

CheesyBadger · 11/02/2014 12:34

I think I am going to check myself from now on too, or chat with dp re the last one agrees to do it.

I know what you mean about the smoking thing but he is such a grump. I want him to go away to stop smoking and come back happy... I need a

OP posts:

Original poster

CheesyBadger · 11/02/2014 12:35

I think I assume as he is always in and out of the front door... Just occurred to me he pops out to smoke so that's why I don't lock it, as he goes out after I go up. Maybe it hit a nerve...

OP posts:

Joysmum · 11/02/2014 12:41

Why can't the last person in lock up?

CrohnicallyFarting · 11/02/2014 12:45

We do lock the door when we come in, but don't bolt the door. At night it is bolted and the burglar alarm set. Obviously the last one to bed needs to do it else we would set the alarm off!

EasterHoliday · 11/02/2014 12:45

my DP has left the front door WIDE FUCKING OPEN twice in the last three days. This morning's excuse was that he was "busy" so left the ocado dude to let himself out. The gate was also wide open. My handbag was in full view of the door. Twat. This annoys me more than when he leaves his keys in the door and / or the gas hob on. It's a constant surprise to me that he manages to run a company and yet is so utterly incompetent around the home.

Original poster

CheesyBadger · 11/02/2014 12:47

I am going to make a point tonight of locking up... Although I don't really want it to become solely my job...

OP posts:

CaptainCunt · 11/02/2014 13:03

DH is supposed to do it while I'm putting the baby to bed / doing other nigh time stuff, he manages it about 2/3 of the time but gets annoyed if I check... Grrr

goldenlula · 11/02/2014 13:06

I think I would be annoyed at the fact he said you left the door unlocked, at worst it should have been we. I tend to check all the doors are locked before going up to bed, whether I am last up or not, but I do expect dh to take responsibility for it too and would be cross if he blamed me, when he had also not checked. That said, maybe cut him a little slack due to the no smoking thing.

Spottybra · 11/02/2014 13:14

If DH comes to bed after me I go downstairs and check. He has form for leaving doors unlocked. Also, because he works away I have just fallen into a frame of mind where I am only comfortable enough to sleep if I know they are locked by double checking.

DeWe · 11/02/2014 13:19

I've learnt by experience not to trust dh to lock up. He thinks as long as the doors are more or less closed, it's fine.

CoffeeTea103 · 11/02/2014 13:22

I lock up before bed. That way if the door is unlocked we know who left it unlocked.

ApprenticeViper · 11/02/2014 13:33

Whoever's last in from work locks up in our house, and if one of us goes out again after that it's their responsibility to lock up when they get in. If we go out together (an increasingly rare occurence!), whoever has unlocked the door to let us back in will lock it again afterwards.

90% of the time I go to bed after DP, and I always check the door's locked, even if I know I locked it earlier. OCD? Me? Nah, not much

My DP left the front door open (as in actually open, not just unlocked) when we went away for four days. Our next door neighbour (we'd not long since moved in so she didn't have our phone numbers or anything) rang the police in case there was someone in our house, so we got back to the front door closed and a note in the hall from the police. It will be a while before DP lives that one down

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 11/02/2014 13:37

One of us usually asks the otherif the door is locked. If we're not surei just run down and check. Doesn't bother me. Saying that, DP has horrendous arthritis in his knees, so I wouldn't ask him to run down.

PedantMarina · 11/02/2014 13:57

Oh dear, OP you seem to have made an ASS out of U and ... errm ... MPTION.

In our house, when the last one to go to bed is me, I tend to sleep in the livingroom (DP snores very loudly) and turn everything off.

When the last one to go to bed is DP, he'll not "check" by dint of not feeling a breeze coming from the interior door (we live in a flat) as he walks by, but will leave his phone on full noise, eh-heh-hevery notification on his phone with full sound, and his "man-corner" of the sofa with all empty glasses, etc, still in situ, every plate, cooking utensil, etc, still near the sink area.

Interestingly enough, the other day I did apparently leave the downstairs (communal) door open as I was last coming through. The fact that I was carrying DS (nearly 4) who was asleep probably shouldn't count for anything. Silly me.

PedantMarina · 11/02/2014 14:00

Oh, and BTW, AIBU, if nobody stole DP's bike, our old pushchair of various things we're leaving there to go out to the charity shops, to be a leeetle bit insulted?

SlimJiminy · 11/02/2014 14:01

Whoever goes up first checks ours.

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