To want dh to accept I feel rotten and help?

[mummyto2boysandagirl3]

Sorry for the moan :(

I have infected mastitis and I'm feeling really rough.

Dh had a go at me for not having dinner ready when he got home from work and I still had to do the school run today despite him telling me in the small hrs he would help. I feel like iv been battered my temp is in the 40s and even with pain killers isn't coming below 38 I am in agony and feel like I just want to go to bed. He is currently snoring his head off "cos he has work in the morning" meanwhile I'm pinned under ds2 and dd who r full of cold (ds2 leaning on infected boob it's so sore I could cry)

He's told me I'm over reacting my boob is red and to get over it!!

I'm more annoyed cos gp said it is probably my stress levels/exhaustion that has caused it (or not drinking enough) I'm so run down bcos he does nothing at all I'm a sahm but the dc have been poorly for months I'm shattered and I really just need to b able to eat and drink and sleep a little (just a couple of hrs) I know he works v v hard but so do I I just don't get paid for it (this isn't a dig at working mums btw u guys have it tough too don't know how u fit in job dc and housework etc) if he is "ill" he gets to go to bed sleep it off and get well and expects to b waited on hand and foot. I just want a bit of understanding that just holding the dc is causing me agony right now :(

Aibu to have a go or am I just feeling sorry for myself?

Thank u everyone I spent the morning in bed so I'm feeling a bit better. Dh is taking the next couple of days off. I'm going to have a soak in the bath and c if it helps this lump that has developed in my boob.

Uv all given me some really good advice thank u I will pop over to the relationship board when I'm feeling better.

Mummyto2boys - massive and . Feel so so sorry for you. I had mastitis with DC2 and it was so painful and upsetting it blew my mind. Hope it gets better soon and if you get antibios and they don't seem to work, get back to the GP quickly, as you could develop an abscess.

Try massaging very very gently down towards the nipple while you are in the bath, it can help to ease the blockage away. And savoy cabbage leaves inside your bra really do work - get your DH to go out and buy you cabbage.

Mastitis is horrendous.

OP thump him in the balls and then tell him its only a bit of pain.

I've had mastitis. Its completely and utterly miserable. All I could do was cry pathetically and try to feed DS until the antibiotics kicked in. I actually sat in the OOH waiting room sobbing. Even the taxi driver felt so sorry for me he wouldnt let me get out of his taxi but went into the chemist to collect my prescription for me. He even insisted they gave him some water so I could take the first anti biotic before i got home. DP was at home looking after the kids. For the next few days he took time off work, did all the school runs (without becoming a piece of citrus fruit), got up in the night to pass ds to me for feeding then put him back in cot, got take aways every night did all the cooking and got up each morning wiht the children

DP looked at your OP. His response was probably not publishable but suffice to say he'd like 10 minutes alone in a room with your husband and an electric cattle prod.

YANBU. Go to bed. Stay there. If you have to get out of bed make sure its only to go to the loo or for a warm bath or shower then back to bed. He'll cope because he'll have to.

Oh and good news the medicine does work quite quickly or at least it did for me.

You should be on best rest!

Maybe not that practical with other DCs but he should be doing all he can to make sure you are resting as much as possible.

Selfish man. I hope you have a speedy recovery. Being run down has contributed to your illness I'm sure.

and I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have had infective mastitis three times and it is an horrific illness.

Every time I had it my dh took over everything. My only responsibility was to stay in bed and breastfeed ds, who was tiny.

That is normal behaviour for a man who loves, cares for, and respects his wife.

Please, once you are feeling a bit better, get some help. Your husband sounds abusive and you need and deserve so much more.

Do try a really warm bath, take a book in and relax. It did ease the pain of mastitis for me.

How are you doing now OP? I hope you're feeling a bit better.

If you are having a warm bath today one thing I found that helped was to go on my hands and knees and dangle my boobs in the warm water. It was rather undignified but for some reason it helped. It was a tip from another mumsnetter so I'm not the first to try it :) Also feed feed feed your baby as much as you can. I know it hurts but it really does help

Soldiering on doesn't get you anywhere. My DH retires to his bed when he is sick and apparently is unable to do anything. If he sees me functioning when I'm ill he is convinced I can't be sick. So retiring to bed and doing nothing is the only way to convince him and get them to help out.
I'm glad he's taken a couple of days off- you must be really poorly. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon.

Thank u all I'm feeling less flu like today which has helped boob still sore and got a lump had a bath first thing have done the undignified dangling lol the pain is easing so hoping to get some sleep this aft as dh is doing the school run.

I have started a thread on relationships as although he's taken time off he's being v nasty and I really have had enough I know I'm ill but I'm just going to keep making myself ill if I continue to live like this and I want a better life for my dc.

Thank u all so much for ur help and support it has given me the wake up that I needed I think