Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So tonight I did a test aibu

35 replies

Babyturnip · 09/02/2014 23:03

So as the title suggests, tonight I did a test. It was positive, my oh does not want anymore babies aibu not to tell him. This was not planned it was once after a few too many.

OP posts:
Joules68 · 09/02/2014 23:03

Well he will have to know eventually..

ChaosTrulyReigns · 09/02/2014 23:04

Do you think he might notice?

I think you need to discuss thus with him maturely. Smile

deakymom · 09/02/2014 23:05

well i don't know what to say except you know your options xx

Joysmum · 09/02/2014 23:05

You're with the wrong bloke if you can't be honest with him.

I'd hope you'd be able to tell him but don't know either if you so couldn't comment in whether you should or not.

ladyquinoa · 09/02/2014 23:05

I'd probably not tell anyone for a short while. You both had unprotected sex. If he didn't want anymore, he shouldn't have done the deed.

LettertoHermioneGranger · 09/02/2014 23:06

Why would you not tell him? Are you terrified he will force you into terminating?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 09/02/2014 23:06

Why would you not want to tell him? Are you considering termination? Fearing consequences? Scared?

Floggingmolly · 09/02/2014 23:06

If there is one thing nobody can keep a secret, this is it, I'm afraid.
Do you really imagine you can pretend it's not happening?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/02/2014 23:06

How long do you plan to keep it from him?

lougle · 09/02/2014 23:07

What would you do, wait until you were over the threshold at 24 weeks??

What would not telling achieve?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 09/02/2014 23:08

Are you ok OP?

Original poster
Babyturnip · 09/02/2014 23:09

Oh I just don't know what to do? I feel so torn, a little excited but if I tell him he will want me to have an abortion and I will have to pretend I will go along with it, we will fight. It's a nightmare :(

OP posts:
Amicus1966 · 09/02/2014 23:10

It all depends on what you want really.

BrandNewIggi · 09/02/2014 23:10

You can take a few days to get used to the idea if you want. Then you will know what you want before your dp's opinions are part of the mix.
I once didn't tell my DP was a couple of weeks and it was a nice secret to have tbh (I didn't tell as worried about another mc, which is what happened in the end).

Just because he's said he doesn't want more doesn't mean he might not want one that is already conceived, iyswim.

LiberalLibertine · 09/02/2014 23:14

So you want this baby, but he what? Wouldn't be keen? Go mad? Have a good think about what you want, then tell him, he's got to be told.

LiberalLibertine · 09/02/2014 23:15

Sorry xpost.

He can't make you have a termination. Your not scared of him are you?

Original poster
Babyturnip · 09/02/2014 23:17

I suppose I have a few weeks, it took us quite a while to fall before, I have had ectopic pregnancies and only have one tube I honestly did not think it would happen. I will wait and see how things go, I am pretty scared though, he is lovely but so so grumpy and miserable sometimes hard to be around I don't want to make an atmosphere for the children. Sorry rambling feel a bit shocked tbh.

OP posts:
BrandNewIggi · 09/02/2014 23:21

He doesn't sound lovely Sad
Congratulations by the way Flowers

Original poster
Babyturnip · 09/02/2014 23:21

No he can't, but I hate that feeling of walking on eggshells, he is going to go mental. Mental.

OP posts:
steff13 · 09/02/2014 23:24

Don't let him make you do something you don't want to do. Are you safe with him?

Perhaps take a little time to think about how you really feel about it before telling him, and decide what you really want to do.

LiberalLibertine · 09/02/2014 23:25

Oh love, it's an accident, his fault as much as yours. It's very sad you're this worried, do you think he will think you've done this on purpose?

Beavie · 09/02/2014 23:28

He is lovely? But will go absolutely mental at you for being pregnant? Which he is actually 50% responsible for?

You clearly want this baby, so please don't let him bully you into a termination.

Original poster
Babyturnip · 09/02/2014 23:30

Yes totally safe, I suppose the question is where do I begin? When I s the right time when he is exhausted after work? He works 6 long days, tell him on his day off? When he wants to relax? Will try and get some sleep and get it straight in my head. Thank u for all your advice x

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 09/02/2014 23:32

Just remember, it takes 2 to tango. Presumably if he didn't want any more dc he should have used a condom?

How many dc do you/he have?

Original poster
Babyturnip · 09/02/2014 23:34

We have 4 already.

OP posts: