Well not 'a' house, my house! Three years ago DH, I and our 3 DCs moved abroad to start a new life after DH was made redundant here. We sold our house and had enough equity for two year's rent and to buy furniture and a car as it was too expensive to take our stuff with us.
DH was on a work visa (went over and got a job before we went) and the plan was after two years we would apply for permanent residence and get a mortgage at which point I could work as well.
Anyway in brief, the house we found to rent was no longer available when we got out there as out paperwork took longer to go through than anticipated (we used a relocation agency which cost £££'s). When we got over there, DH had to start his job straight away and we just could not find another house to rent as there was literally nothing available in our price range except for a house literally right next to a lake which was not ideal for our 2 and 3 year olds!
We met a mortgage broker by chance one day who told us he could get us a mortgage which was something we had not considered as we were not permanent residents. After 4 weeks in a hotel room with 3 DC who were driving me nuts and no school for the eldest as we had no permanent address, we jumped at the chance and put most of our money down on a beautiful family house, mortgage was very affordable on the basis that DH would get paid his contracted salary and it was an upcoming area which the agent assured us would mean the house prices would rise quickly. All good up to now!
Two months later DH's car skidded on ice (very cold winter), he was lucky to be alive but had to take 4 months off work with his injuries with no sick pay as he did not qualify! I could not work due to our visas either. Not eligible for any benefits at all. We were literally living on credit cards and cereal (not the DCs). When DH went back to work, his employers changed his job so his pay was less and as he had no legal protection (not a citizen, new employee) we were buggered. Immediately we put the house on the market as we realised we were not going to cope financially and at least we could take the equity and just rent anything, even a cheap apartment.
House would not sell even when we lowered the price to below what we'd paid for it. The reason being that the government started a scheme to encourage people to build their own houses by releasing cheap land which was much cheaper than buying one that had already been built. I was basically phoning every mortgage company begging them to give us a bigger mortgage so we could release equity that way but again was refused due to residency and DH's lower wage. He could not change jobs due to his visa or take an extra job. We were completely trapped.
I did something I had never done before which was to ask my mother and stepfather for help. They had sold their house some years before and had the money from that in a savings account as they were living abroad in a house provided by my stepdad's job. They were planning on buying a house again in a few years but did not need that money at that time. Knowing this, I asked my mother if they would consider buying our house from us so we could release the equity to top up DH's wage until we were eligible for permanent residence and he could get a better job and so I could work. We would pay them rent (more than the interest they were getting from the bank account) and they would then either sell the house back to us taking any increase in value for themselves or we would try and sell it again giving them the increase in value. We would have got a solicitor to draw it up legally etc. I was not interested in taking money from them, just in salvaging the mess we were in.
They said NO. It was our problem to sort out. We continued for another 6 months hoping to sell, getting further behind with the mortgage, stress causing me panic attacks and eventually handed the house keys to the mortgage company and flew home using credit which we still have not paid off. The bank sold our house a few months later and we got a total of £4k back from a £50k investment (same house is now on the market for $100k than we bought it for!). We have no hope of ever raising enough money for a deposit to buy another house here as we are paying over £1k in rent!
My mother has recently told me that she has bailed my younger sister out to the tune of over £70k in paying off her debts, paying her rent, paying her DCs nursery fees and buying clothes and furniture for her. Sister has split up with the father of her DCs (although he still pays for them and has them on weekends) and she needed their help more than us apparently. She not bothered that my DCs were made homeless and we had to come back to the UK and lose everything.
AIBU to be furious about this?
AIBU?
to have expected my parents to buy me a house? Long and boring sorry!
JealousAndUnreasonable · 08/02/2014 18:26
Yanbu...hate unfairness. Unfairness with money in families breeds resentment.
If they hadn't helped out your sister I'd say you were BU, but seems very unfair.
Hope you get back on your feet 
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
You need to start thinking and planning before acting on one whim after the other. You are selling and buying houses like they were enamel jugs on ebay.
I cant see why you could not rent near a lake! 
Thats absurd.
How can you think buying a house in a foreign country when you dont even know the market, and local politics, and dont even have permanent visa is beyond me.
Even worse, sell a good house to use the equity for rent! Did you not consider letting your house and use the rent received to fund your own rent? You have been a bit foolish. I am not surprised your mum does not want to throw money your way, you need to learn to manage money first.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
We bought the house for $179K. It is now for sale at $319K. Canadian dollars. Parents had more than enough to buy it just sitting in the bank. NOW because they threw £70K at my sister, they don't have enough to buy a decent house outright. It is not that they minded us going. They wanted us to stay there so we could sponsor them to retire out there themselves when we got citizenship. They are currently going through the emigration process to move out there themselves . Constantly saying 'if only you'd stayed out there, it would have been easier for us'. .
I did not consider myself 'entitled'. I made a business case to borrow money from them where they would have a tangible asset. I would never ask for money I could not pay back. I also would never has asked if I did not know how much they had sitting in the bank.
Forgot to mention that Dsis also had a well paid full time job where she travelled all over the world while they were paying her bills. Facilitated by my mother practically living with her so she could fly off at a moments notice leaving her DCs. I could not afford the childcare to go back to work after DC3 so had to give up my 'career'.
Should also mention that Dsis is my stepfather's child. We have different dads. I have already been told that any inheritance will go to the two DC my mum had with my stepfather as HE has worked for it.
Gaahhhhh writing this all down - damn right I am jealous. Very.
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If that is the attitude then perhaps you should just cut your losses - they don't sound particularly pleasant 
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