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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think education is a privilege and removing a child from that without damn good reason is shocking?

260 replies

MBT1987 · 07/02/2014 16:55

So, in the latest episode of "Why am I being fined for breaking the law?" AKA "Yet Another Unauthorised Absence", we've had:

"I'm going to tell my kids to lie"
"I'd vote Labour if they abolished compulsory education" (Fun fact - the Education Act 2006 was passed under Labour)
"My children with both parents are disadvantaged as opposed to single-parent families!"
"What are they really going to do if I break the law and don't accept the fine?" (Hint - prosecute)
"My school are lovely, so they won't mind" (Then ask in advance?)

I could go on.

There are some absolute howlers coming from this place, and it's sickening. Parents are encouraging kids to play truant and lie about it.

I don't care if I become Social Pariah of the Week as a result of this. I'll just have to be lonely on my little patch of moral high ground. Anyone is welcome to join me.

OP posts:
LondonBus · 07/02/2014 19:36

My DC never go on holiday during term time, mostly because my contract is term time only, and I can't get the time off.

I say "fair play" to anyone who takes their DC on holiday which would otherwise be impossible if not taken during term time.

Yes, DC will be behind their peers in certain areas if they miss a couple of weeks of school. It's about getting a balance, though. Sometimes in a child's life, going to visit granny on her birthday in turkey is more important than knowing what a cylinder is, for the time being.

I love a holiday, I do.

PortofinoRevisited · 07/02/2014 19:48

I am abroad and if I took my child out of school for a week for a non-essential reason, I would come back to no school place. My dd's school is very clear on this. We do get longer summer holidays though, but no May half term.

Hulababy · 07/02/2014 19:53

Isn't eucation a child's right in the UK - not merely a privledge.
In world terms - yes, free education is a privledge that our children are lucky to have on offer to them.

However - despite working as a teacher, a HLTA and an education advisor across secondary, primary and adult prison ed for the past 18 years - I still do not believe that a child missing 102 weeks of their education for a family holiday will have any detrmiental afect to their overal education.

Certainly it never put a dampner on my education, nor that of my brother and sister. We had 1-2 weeks out of school every year as my dad worked in a factory with shut down weeks - and these were always in term time. It as then or not at all.

In my time in schools I have never see a family holiday, outside of exam years, negatively affect the child itself, their classmates or even their teacher.

Hulababy · 07/02/2014 19:55

Argh - privilege. I can spell honestly!!! It's ben a long day, am on meds and in pain and had wine my excuse, honest!

ClockWatchingLady · 07/02/2014 20:03

I'm sorry, but I just don't buy the "it will damage your kids for them to miss school time" argument. Depending on what you do with them (and I'm NOT talking academic work necessarily), a responsible parent taking them away to have FUN is much more likely to do them the world of good. The degree of control the government is exerting over people here makes my blood boil, which it rarely does.

IamInvisible · 07/02/2014 20:04

I frequently took my DC. Out if school during term time for holidays. DH is in the RAF, so it was not always possible to go in school holidays.

DS1(19) left school with all A*s and A at GCSE, and AAB at A level. DS2 left with 8As and 2Bs. He is working at grade A in all four of his AS level subjects. Neither one of my DC ever had a detention, a behaviour sheet! got sent out of a classroom or held back, or spoken to by their House Manager in all the years they were at school. They both have had part time jobs since 15, abide by laws, are polite, respectful and hardworking. They are the ones who hold the doors open for the teachers and carry the books etc., so it did not do them any harm.

When we decided to take our DC on holiday it was about making memories tbh. I had fantastic holidays as a child (in term time) and wanted my DC to have the same. Having a DH in the Military you never know what is around the corner, so having those memories was important to DH and I. There was no way we wanted anything to happen to DH and our DC and I to have no memories of the fun times we had together.

This week one of DS2's teachers has been on a course, they have had no supply teacher. Apparently it isn't policy to have supply for planned absences anymore, so the kids are meant to work independently. It's double standards in my book when they can loose a week's teaching to suit the school.

Rubybrazilianwax · 07/02/2014 20:05

My husband is a head teacher, I am a teacher. We have taken our dc out of school twice to go on holiday. This has happened whenever the holidays from schools have not matched up. I think as long as parents are prepared to do any extra work at home to help them catch up then its fine.

Sparklysilversequins · 07/02/2014 20:05

Honeysweet the law states that all children must be educated. YOU choose to use the state provided option of formal school. I and others like me choose another option of providing our children's education ourselves. Your opinion that home educated children are simply absent from school, shows limited thinking and unawareness of the law. School obviously didn't do YOU much good did it?

IamInvisible · 07/02/2014 20:06

*lose

I can spell when an iPad is not correcting me!

grumpyoldbat · 07/02/2014 20:07

I think in the most part children ex enrolled in school should go to school unless ill or exceptional circumstances for example weddings or funerals.

Sparklysilversequins · 07/02/2014 20:12

Oh and my dd who IS in school is doing "transport" as her half term topic and has to do a project on it. We will be doing our project on all the different forms of transport to be found in the country we are visiting over half term (and for a few days after Wink). Their systems are very different with both modern and ancient systems specific to their society coexisting alongside one another. We intend to explore this and I imagine it may well justify our "unauthorised" hols from an educative point of view when considered alongside the plethora of cardboard buses made of cereal packets that are likely to be handed in.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/02/2014 20:14

The biggest problem in education today is a lack of respect from some pupils, many seem to think they don't have to work, think they have a right to have their mobile phones out, think it is ok to answer back, that headphones plugged in are part of the uniform, think that rules don't apply to them . .... then I read what some parents are saying on here and realise why!

Absolutely Smile Perhaps the "my kids, I'll pay the fine in pennies with a fuck you" is the sort of thing you meant?? What an interesting attitude that showed ...

maggiemight · 07/02/2014 20:28

We will be doing our project on all the different forms of transport to be found in the country we are visiting over half term (and for a few days after wink). Their systems are very different with both modern and ancient systems specific to their society coexisting alongside one another. We intend to explore this and I imagine it may well justify our "unauthorised" hols from an educative point of view when considered alongside the plethora of cardboard buses made of cereal packets that are likely to be handed in

Great that you can afford such an interesting holiday SS, sad that your DCs have to return to mix with the plebs and their buses ;-)

claraschu · 07/02/2014 20:34

Education is a huge privilege and a joy; schooling, on the other hand, is often dreary, dull and uninspiring.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

Sparklysilversequins · 07/02/2014 20:41

Oh that's not what I meant at all maggie Grin

It's us who are so cavalier with our dc's education that normally get jumped on, I just snapped back a little.

Sparklysilversequins · 07/02/2014 20:45

Oh and as for affording this holiday, family live there so it's a very cheap option Smile.

deakymom · 07/02/2014 20:46

i think its been spoilt by A, the government's relentless target setting teachers must achieve by such and such time or else B, the fact that some parents do take the piddle and take there kids out ALL THE TIME my children attend school unless they are dying and if they have blood tests doctors appointments etc they are taken outside of school time many parents do not if they want to go shopping they get a day off a sniffle the day off there parents cant be bothered a day off then they have to go on holiday more than one time a year and its bloody annoying for those who can't afford it and it does affect their child's education and its because of those children the rest of us have to suffer

IneedAsockamnesty · 07/02/2014 20:46

Fill in the forms to 'move' schools. where to I wonder? Home school? Lots of forms and interview for that.
When you try to re-join the original school,a whole two weeks later imagine your surprise when you discover that your child's place has been taken by another/ magically no longer exists.
Yes, so simple, would work a treat and is well worth the trouble

Again nope,

One formal letter (if your child is registered already in school)and that is it,you are under no obligating to allow an interview or anything. And it's not unusual to try at HE for a few weeks then go ack to school,lots of people like the idea but not the practice of it.

sparkly I'm pretty sure honey was not meaning that in the way you have taken it,it did not read like she meant a CME.

Sparklysilversequins · 07/02/2014 20:49

Ok, well I apologise if that's the case.

IneedAsockamnesty · 07/02/2014 20:52

My nephew has flying lessons and is doing a degree as part of his HE he's 14 and is already a published author, I'm very pro HE.

And it is the only way to avoid the rules in state schools that you don't like if you cannot afford private.

maggiemight · 07/02/2014 20:52

Sorry Sparkly - thought you were boasting Smile

orangedog · 07/02/2014 20:57

oooh MBT. You must feel very smug posting about my spelling.

Your grammar is very poor.

Sparklysilversequins · 07/02/2014 20:59

Smile It's fine, don't worry if I can ever afford to go somewhere else where I haven't got family to put us up, I WILL come on with a big old boast!

Honeysweet · 07/02/2014 22:00

Thank you Sparkly.

Sparkletshirt · 07/02/2014 22:27

Op you sound very upset that people are having a nice time with their children whilst you stick to the rules and are miserable. Libraries, sports centres, youth clubs and parks are being shut through lack of funding, and I read this week about 2 boys being expelled for (whisper it) having cheese biscuits in their lunch boxes. Why don't you get upset about that instead? I'm going to home ed dd for as long as we can afford to, and the only reason we won't spend what little money we have taking her abroad is she's too young to benefit from it, but as soon as she's older, we will. If she's interested in something she'll learn about it where ever she is in the world, and if that learning depends on her being at home then we won't be going away. School will have nothing to do with it.

Claraschu what you said is brilliant. It's nice to hear from people who haven't been brain washed.