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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry about attendance charge from school

562 replies

HidingInTheBathroom · 07/02/2014 15:36

I am very upset at the minute. Received my fine today for taking my children out of school four days before they break up for Christmas.

Me and my husband have received a £60 fine for each child for each parent.

We are being charged more for being a couple. Which I think is wrong. The last week of school they only watch films and went to a pantomime. Oh and had a school disco. The holiday was far more educational than watching films and family time is hard to come by with work.

When I have requested a meeting with the head teacher I have just got a mouthful of abusive from the receptionist.

OP posts:
ChocolateWombat · 07/02/2014 16:54

OP, what you are really annoyed about is the fine. Understandable, but you do have to suck it up.
I really wouldn't let this turn into another thing to complain about. Complaining about the receptionist won't help with the school fine thing....I can see you are angry about the fine and feel the need to blame someone for something...but just pay the fine and move on.

PiperRose · 07/02/2014 16:55

I cannot believe the amount of people on here who are saying they would tell the school their children are ill, then warning children not to say a word when they get back to school. Encouraging children to lie to cover up your wrong-doing is terrible parenting. In the the worst case scenario this just teaches kids that if they're told to lie by an adult it's OK, which then means that other adults could ask your kids to lie to you and they would be fine with that.

When you enroll a child in a school you are entering into a contract for them to educate your child. You may think your trip is more educational than what they were doing in school but if you want to home educate them you have to do it on a full-time basis. This is not a pick n' mix situation.

AND I cannot believe we are still bashing teachers for striking. Do we really believe that changes to their pay and conditions should be allowed with no form of redress? Because they have the privilege of educating your children?

IamInvisible · 07/02/2014 16:56

I hate this new law. I think it is wrong. I have taken my DC out frequently for holidays in term time because of DH being in the military. DS1 left school with all A*s and As at GCSE and AAB at Alevel. DS2 got 8As and 2 Bs at GCSE and is working at 4As in his AS subjects, so it didn't effect them.

Unfortunately for you, OP, you knew about the law when you took the DC out so you have to pay the fine. I would do it in your shoes because it will go up and if it goes to court it could end up near £1000.

I am glad my kids are almost finished with education, tbh.

ChocolateWombat · 07/02/2014 16:57

All this stuff about the receptionist is displacement activity. The OP is Looking for someone to blame for something.....rather than being willing to accept that she has been in the wrong and fined.

Move on OP

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 16:57

OP - you wrote a couple of years ago about taking 10 days off unauthorised and them threatening to fine you then, when your son was 8?. This can't have come as any surprise then, surely? Did you take the 10 days then as well?

kitsmummy · 07/02/2014 16:59

Gosh I'm amazed that you didn't know about these fines as they've been all over the news! Oh what's that, you did know about them? So what makes you think they shouldn't apply to you?

If the other people have donated a large sum of money to the school and the school fine them I'm sure that will put a stop to any large future donations. If I was the HT I wouldn't be fining them either...

candycoatedwaterdrops · 07/02/2014 16:59

YABU.

There are plenty of laws and rules that I don't agree with. However, being a grown up, I either obey the rules of pay the consequences.

Floggingmolly · 07/02/2014 16:59

Aren't the rules slightly different for Forces families, IamInvisable, or has that changed now?

YouStayClassySanDiego · 07/02/2014 17:00

Patricia is that so? so OP's card was already marked prior to her childrens pre Christmas awol.

Is that true OP?

TeenAndTween · 07/02/2014 17:03

As you only received your fine today, perhaps the fine for the other family just hasn't yet been processed and will arrive next week?

Groovee · 07/02/2014 17:03

What if the other family have been fined but have decided not to discuss it with you?

I think you need to just accept you have to pay the fine.

As for the receptionist, this is nothing to do with us as we didn't hear it.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/02/2014 17:04

I would pay and move on, even though I don't agree with the new rules.
I wouldn't feel especially like I was in the wrong though.

I'm surprised really by how many people just accept a change in the rules without question.

But perhaps most of you already thought it was wrog to take children out of school in term time.

I think I'm just more pragmatic than that. And trust most parents to do what's best for their DC and families. Especially, as under the old rules, in consultation with the Headteacher.

I also think the new rules massively encourage lying by parents and children, which is a big issue. I think the inevitable erosion of trust, compassion, and respect all round is regrettable.

TheGruffalo2 · 07/02/2014 17:06

I had a child off sick from my class a few years ago. Mum phoned in on Monday morning saying she had a tummy bug. I marked as ill in the register and she didn't reappear all week. As a class we had a last minute change for a free trip, so needed definite numbers, so I left an answer machine message at the home number and posted the details at the end of the week, in case the child wanted to go (sufficient time lapse for someone with a basic tummy bug to be well enough to go). Still hadn't heard anything about the child's health, return or interest in visit by the following Tuesday, so I was really worried the child was really ill / hospitalised. So I phoned home and the mobile and no reply. I wondered whether a relative may be caring for child while mum worked, so used mum's work contact number we had on record as second contact number to speak to her. "Sorry, no Mrs X is on holiday in Tenerife for a fortnight and won't be back until next week". On return child and mum told me she had been ill and to keep an eye on her because she was still tired; obviously mum hadn't spoken to work to know I'd phoned! I couldn't resist asking mum out of earshot of child how she'd enjoyed her holiday! Grin

Misspixietrix · 07/02/2014 17:07

Dont I've just read the article. Love the fact he used a problem with his daughter's School attendance to justify a holiday that would affect his erm? School attendance! Grin. Yes its Crap OP and no I don't agree with it but as many have pointed out. The rules are clearly stated and they don't sign you more for being a couple. They find each parent. Ex wanted to take my DCs to London. I wouldn't let it happen. If it did. We would have both been fined.

WeAreDetective · 07/02/2014 17:13

Just as a point of information: teacher training INSET days come out of holiday time and happen to be spread throughout the year. Without them, there would be another week's holiday in the summer.

So these do not detract from your child's education at all.

WeAreDetective · 07/02/2014 17:14

And when teachers strike, they lose a day's pay.

So that's also not a good argument for the 'one rule for them and another for us' thing.

revealall · 07/02/2014 17:14

But the rules aren't clearly stated.

All that is stated is that holidays are counted as unauthorised absences and each parent can be fined £60. Headteachers and the LEA have the power to issue fines

Some schools fine every session missed, some by days, some by the whole period and some won't bother unless you take the piss.

How are the rules clearly stated here then?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/02/2014 17:14

Totally agree that all this about other parents/school trips/closure days and more is just displacement - and it's not for the school to discuss other parents' issues. We may or may not agree with the new rules, but they ARE the rules and the way to approach this is to campaign for them to be changed if necessary, not to pick and choose which rules are to be obeyed - that way lies anarchy and it's an appalling example to set to the children

Interesting too that sooner or later on these threads someone remarks about it "breaking the trust/respect" between home and school; respect cuts both ways and some don't seem to mind asking their children to lie to staff, do they??

Frankly it's wonderful to see so many decent folk saying "you broke the rule so just accept it" ... once again the decency of Mumsnet comes to the fore :-)

cardibach · 07/02/2014 17:15

Flogginmolly - at the Motorpoint in Cardiff supporting Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls. Bloody marvellous gig. Knackered today though as I live 2 hours from Cardiff and had to drive home then go to work today. Totally worth it. What's your connection?

cardibach · 07/02/2014 17:15

Add this g to your user name Blush

revealall · 07/02/2014 17:16

I'd argue the fines aren't even a "rule" as such. Just a possible outcome.

wonderingsoul · 07/02/2014 17:17

what if the other parent does live there or is even out of the country

Misspixietrix · 07/02/2014 17:18

How can they not be clearly stated? You take them out and leave them with an authorised absence you get fined. Clear as a bell to most of us. Also Iam our School sent out letters last Summer warning people of the changes. It said that unauthorised absences will be granted in extreme circumstances. I used the Army family as a justification as what might apply to this scenario in a previous discussion about this on FB.

Misspixietrix · 07/02/2014 17:20

Also the Teachers strike and don't get fined is pointless. Teachers strike over important issues other than pay. Like safeguarding issues for Instance. Not so they can pop off to Spain for a week.

HouseOfGingerbread · 07/02/2014 17:24

The other thing to note about training days and strike days is that they affect all children - they don't leave one child out of step with the class.

And of course, it benefits the children to have teachers undertaking regular professional training.

I'm taking my daughter out of school for a week at Easter. It's not ideal, but it's a rare visit to family in Australia. She'll learn some stuff when we're away but I'm not going to try to claim it's an educational trip, and if I get fined, so be it. I've budgeted for it.

The decision to fine rests with the LEA, so even if I fund an entirely new wing for the school it won't help me.

I don't think this is a good law and I despise Michael Gove, but it exists and we have to deal with that. I also think regular term time breaks are a bad thing - but occasional ones are ok in the grand scheme of things.

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