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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed parents arent allowed to use their phones at playgroup?

164 replies

itispersonal · 06/02/2014 12:49

I am a bit of a phone addict I'll admit but . ..

I was at my local sure start centre for a singing session with my dd (so don't use phone during this session) but noticed on the wall they had recently put up a sign to say mobile phones were not to be used by parents due to "e- safety".

I use to go to longer play sessions at the sure start and I would check my phone as it would be when Dp would be on their break/ lunch sort out arrangements for the rest of the day with friends/family etc.

Aibu to be annoyed at this? Surely I am an adult, me talking on a phone or using a phone isn't a paedophile risk! Though not entirely sure what a e-safety risk is. Think sure start struggle to get people through the door so putting this in place would make me think I'll go elsewhere where can have a seat to sit on, a drink etc.

I do try and support the sure start centre as think they provide a good service to children and parents, as well as other paid activities I go to with my dd.

And yes I do interact with baby as well and talk to other mums there. I suppose I just don't like being told what to do!

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 06/02/2014 13:47

because the photos are not stored, the emails are logged and the staff are trained.

Ubik1 · 06/02/2014 13:50

It's no big deal. I would go outside to check phone, at some point as I have 2 other children at school. But does it really matter?

ikeaismylocal · 06/02/2014 13:53

Yanbu can't they just have signs that say please ask the other parents if yiu wish to take a photo which includes another child, that is what the playgroups I go to do.

No seats or drinks?! What do breastfeeding mums do?

Scaredycat3000 · 06/02/2014 13:56

Everybody who says leave the room to check your phone, How do you watch your child whilst you leave the group? I takes me seconds to look at the screen or minutes to gather everything up, get though all the security doors look at my phone turn round and go back. DS could have just carried on playing with out me watching him for two seconds.

YouTheCat · 06/02/2014 13:58

I'd imagine there is a blanket ban because some people just can't help themselves and would use their camera anyway - obviously these rules to keep others safe don't apply to them.

I don't know how some people on this thread would have survived having children before mobile phones. Omg the horror of not being contactable 24/7. Hmm

Daykin · 06/02/2014 13:58

It would annoy me. I've already been berated by the school secratary for not answering my phone when I was having a piss. I'm not on FB so I'm not checking that all the time but I would hate to be told I couldn't answer a call or look something up or show a pal a pic/website or whatever because I can't be trusted to not take pictures and upload them onto the internet. You can be sociable and have a phone. Telling you not to take pics is fair enough and no, it's not wetherspoons, but its not prison work either.

MidniteScribbler · 06/02/2014 13:59

Put your phone down for an hour. You'll survive.

Nataleejah · 06/02/2014 13:59

I guess those rules apear because too many people can't be trusted to be sensible

Sallyingforth · 06/02/2014 14:01

Everybody who says leave the room to check your phone, How do you watch your child whilst you leave the group?
Just leave your phone off for an hour. It has voicemail. Is that so very hard to do?

Scaredycat3000 · 06/02/2014 14:02

But why should a 4 yr old be stuck in school with say D&V in tears for hours when you are 150 yards away in another building completely uncontactable because some people can't control themselves with their phone?

undecidedanduncertain · 06/02/2014 14:02

When I first went to my Surestart centre, I was quite heavily pregnant, so they asked me if I wanted a chair. When I was bf, they brought me one too.

It is a bit prescriptive, but if you don't like that, go elsewhere. Rather than telling some of the people that it is specifically targetting (e.g. those who have good reason not to want their DC potentially identified from others' photos) to go elsewhere!

Not everywhere suits everyone. Personally I cannot stand softplay because it is too noisy/busy and I can't keep track of where all my DC are. So I don't go, rather than complaining that the staff should make it quiet and empty to suit me.

undecidedanduncertain · 06/02/2014 14:04

Scaredy - why would they be stuck for hours? Look at your phone before you go in, step outside the door once or twice during the session to see if you've got a message, and check when you leave.

Do you never go anywhere that means you are out of phone contact for 15-20 mins at a time?

Scaredycat3000 · 06/02/2014 14:05

By the way I rarely take my phone out of my pocket during the 2 hours I'm in the centre, it will make a sound if something important happens. Why should I turn it off because other people can't control themselves?

GiveTwoSheets · 06/02/2014 14:05

Those moaning about the ban if you ask sure start staff they will tell you of course you are allowed to take calls! The notice is a polite way of saying 'engage in your child whilst here this isn't a place to let your child run wild whilst you checking facebook!

YouTheCat · 06/02/2014 14:06

I doubt these groups go on for hours for a start. If you were in a building attached to the school and they knew you were there, I'm pretty sure most places would send someone in to get you if your phone was off.

Your child will not be scarred for life on the rare chance that they might get sick and you might not be able to collect them asap. What if you had an appointment and weren't contactable?

People have become too reliant on their phones.

Scaredycat3000 · 06/02/2014 14:07

The only reason I'd be uncontactable is because of a rule, not because there is no signal. There are 4 heavy doors to get out of the building, so no popping out. Do other people just leave their child unattended?

KingRollo · 06/02/2014 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undecidedanduncertain · 06/02/2014 14:08

Would you refuse to take your preschooler swimming, because you couldn't have your phone in the pool? Or would you check it before you go in, and again when you come out?

Yes, it is annoying to feel 'you can't be trusted' - but it's not directed at you personally. Is it hard to believe that there are some people who can't be trusted, and just take photos anyway?

It's pretty standard for swimming pool changing rooms to have a sign saying no phones to be used here (presumably because of weirdos taking pictures of people without clothes on). Does that offend you as well, or do you shrug and accept it. (perhaps because you'd rather they don't take those pics of you or your DC)?

I imagine if you, or someone close to you had a DC who was at risk from an abusive relative finding them, you would be less petulant about wanting to feel 'trusted'.

YouTheCat · 06/02/2014 14:08

Okay Scaredy, I've stolen anything so why should I have to abide by laws that prevent stealing?

You do it because it is the right thing to do. There can't be one rule for you and another for someone else.

YouTheCat · 06/02/2014 14:09

*never stolen fgs Grin

nennypops · 06/02/2014 14:11

Everybody who says leave the room to check your phone, How do you watch your child whilst you leave the group? I takes me seconds to look at the screen or minutes to gather everything up, get though all the security doors look at my phone turn round and go back. DS could have just carried on playing with out me watching him for two seconds.

But why the hell do you need to keep checking your phone? I assume they're saying don't take your phone out, they're not going to demand that they have the right to search your bags and pockets, so all you need to do is put the phone on vibrate. Or you could turn it right off and check it when you go to the loo or leave.

Seriously, it really isn't that long since no-one had mobile phones and, guess what, the human race survived.

ProfPlumSpeaking · 06/02/2014 14:12

YANBU e-safety If someone is determined to take a photo they will have a hidden camera. There should be a sign saying "no photographs please" if they are simply trying to stop innocent snapshots ending up on FB with some vulnerable child in the background.

In fact, at my gym in the changing rooms, come to think of it, there is some placard up about "no paparazzi" but loads of people are checking texts etc. This seems to work fine. Again, someone really determined could be taking secret photos but they would be doing that whether or not other people are checking their texts.

Etiquette is something else.

nennypops · 06/02/2014 14:13

I use to go to longer play sessions at the sure start and I would check my phone as it would be when Dp would be on their break/ lunch sort out arrangements for the rest of the day with friends/family etc.

You could do something radical like talking to your partner when you are both at home? And phone your friends and family before you go to the play session, or after you leave?

ikeaismylocal · 06/02/2014 14:13

I would assume the parents who sit on their phone at play sessions also sit on their phone all day at home. At least the poor kids are getting some stimulation at a play session. If the parents glued to their phones stop going because they don't want to sit without their phones it's the kids who miss out.

When I take my ds to playgroup I don't sit glued to my phone ( it stays in my bag) but I don't interact with him 100% of the time, we have toys, paints, books at home what is the point of taking ds to a playgroup to play with toys when we could just as easily stay at home?

I see it as a chance for ds to interact with other kids and explore a new environment, I do play with him if he wants me to and I watch him whilst he plays but I certainly don't follow him around constantly.

Lamu · 06/02/2014 14:14

I would see it as a safety precaution. There's nothing wrong with checking a text or an email however not keeping an eye on your child whilst at a group is pretty shitty IMO.

I was at a music & soft play session yesterday where a toddler was hanging upside down on netting, trapped by his ankle screaming for a good couple of minutes. Meanwhile the lady that he was with had her head burried in her phone! I heard crying went to intervene and got a cats bum face for my efforts. Poor thing.