to ask the nanny to do a bit of light cleaning/ other chores while baby sleeps?

[deliverdaniel]

Embarrassed to be posting such an overprivileged middle class question.

WE have recently employed a nanny/ babysitter 3 mornings a week to look after our 4 month old while i work upstairs. He sleeps for approximately half the time she is there. I told her she was welcome to watch TV/ read etc while he slept. She doesn't want to do any of that and just sits there doing nothing (her choice obviously.) Would it be unreasonable to ask her to do a bit of light cleaning/ clearing up or other chores during this time? I have been told nannies only do chores relating to the child- eg clearing up toys/ their laundry etc but his washing is mixed up with ours and don't really want her picking through all of our washing to get it out, and he is only 4 montsh so doesn't really make a mess with toys. THanks in advance.

As a nanny, I say YANB at all. Housework for a nanny should primarily focus on child-related duties, yes. Mainly children's laundry, putting away, but I also feel that extends to dishes, sweeping, hoovering, dusting, general tidying. These things make a better environment for baby, so I include them in baby-related duties. Nothing intensive. Best to talk with her and see what she's comfortable with. Honestly I think if she's sitting there doing nothing, she likely feels uncomfortable watchign tv or reading (essentially taking a break) but doesn't feel comfortable cleaning without any jobs outlined. That's a very awkward position for a nanny, when they don't want to come off rude by cleaning unasked, but don't want to be slacking on the job, either.

Have you asked you friend if the nanny cleans for her? That might give you a better idea. Don't go off and advertise for someone else, better to ask. If she doesn't want a job involving cleaning, she doesn't have to stay, unfair to not give her the chance.

chipping- thanks good advice

ohsosirius- thank you. nice to hear from a nanny that IANBU!

I will talk to her, tentatively and see what she says.

Get someone else. Honestly plenty will be willing to do both and mothers do it every day the world over. Totally reasonable to get someone to combine housekeeping with childcare..all this bollocks about them not doing housework..we all know a baby that age sleeps half the time.
Make your expectations clear and get some value out of your paid help. My friend,s nannies cook the family meal and clean up....if they are not happy to they do not get the job.

Anything child related like making baby food, cleaning high chair etc, vacuum area under chair is ok. Asking her to clean the windows, scrub the floors, dust the furniture isn't.

How insulting to be called a nanny/ babysitter!

A 'nanny' is someone with relevant childcare qualifications, and experience. A professional

A 'babysitter' is just that. Puts you in mind of a teen earning some money with babysitting being a first job.

You just have the wrong person, you don't want a nanny- you want a mother's help. Just tell her that you realise this now and does she want the job or should you advertise?

I agree joules!

She should do baby related house work such as baby's washing/ironing and keeping his room clean but not general housework unless unless you pay her extra.

Bit odd though that you told you her she can do as she pleases but then when she does you want to give her house work.

the nanny/babysitter () is probably bored just sitting there and would welcome something to do

if she doesnt then shes just lazy and you dont want someone lazy working for you

As a Nanny employer, I agree with the sort of activities that ohsosirius mentioned. Light housework in areas of the house that the babies uses and Nanny does job. So yes to dusting and tidying baby's room, sweeping kitchen floor and wiping surfaces. No to cleaning bathrooms and Hoover g the stairs. We are lucky that our Nanny goes above what was in the job description. Nap time is mainly for laundry.

Roles everywhere in this country have changed. Including professional ones.It is not the 1950s anymore, and jobs which were created for upper class households in the past no longer fit.

That includes the role of a nanny.Modern families employing a nanny are quite within their rights to create the job they want done.That said, it's always trickier to change a job, and given you started with a different agreement it might need negotiating delicately. Also, she should in any case gave a contract.

Don't best yourself up. Employing your first nanny is always tricky and most of us didn't get it right.

I can't imagine why anyone would sit staring at the walls for two hours a day in any case.

Our nanny started when my youngest was 5 weeks old. I was also at home and now work from home. My baby slept a lot. Our nanny either cuddled her and watched tv or set her down to sleep and watched tv. She brought her to me to feed/play with when awake. And then went back to watching tv or reading a book or something. Poor thing she watched a lot of TV in those days. I was totally happy with the arrangement. She is a wonderful nanny. She offered to do some ironing and other stuff but I said no. Her only job as I saw it was to take care of and love my baby. If the baby woke up she went straight to her. If she was doing housework that might not have been possible. Also she's not a cleaner. As far as I'm concerned she is like a second parent. My baby is now 18 months. She calls her "mama". They adore each other and I couldn't be happier with it. But our nanny doesn't watch any TV now she's too busy with my active toddler. Look after your nanny, if they are good they are priceless.

Devon, they are like second parents. We can all multi task, and parents must.

Bear in mind that your baby will soon(ish) be in solid food, and I think it's completely reasonable to ask a nanny to prepare baby food (for the day and the freezer), so there is a child related task which the nanny could be asked to do.

Our excellent nanny (when we lived in the UK) always mucked in a did a bit of housework when the children were asleep and at playgroups - nothing too heavy, but things like hanging out washing, unpacking the dishwasher, taking parcels t the post office or picking up our dry cleaning (some of this with kids in tow). We didn't ever really sit down and ask her to though, it just evolved into that sort of role. Her contract of employment was for nursery duties only.

It's difficult negotiating your way when you first employ a nanny - definitely speak to her about what you are looking for and her expectations; communication is key. I suspect that if someone feels generally valued, requests for light housework are likely to be received better.

I don't see any harm in explaining to your babysitter that you have had a bit more time to think about what you need, setting out a job spec., and asking her if she's interested. If she's not, fair enough.
But for the record - I don't think it's reasonable to think that you can get a cleaner and a babysitter for the price of a babysitter. I don't necessarily think one person should get the equivalent of the two rates added together, IYSWIM, but I certainly think that if you're hiring someone to both clean and mind your child, you should pay generously. Otherwise, there is the danger that you will end up with someone who feels taken advantage of looking after your DC.

If she's just sitting on the sofa not doing anything (reading or watching TV) while the baby's asleep, I would gather she's not comfortable in your home!!!

I would want a nanny to tidy up and do everything short of heavy cleaning while the baby sleeps (a four month old sleeps a lot!) but I would make that clear from the outset (they can of course negotiate more money for this). It's just a more efficient use of everyone's time - I don't want to have to manage two people coming into my house, I prefer one.

Onefewernow - yes and parents get a chance to sit and relax too when their little ones are asleep. Why shouldn't nannies. Just because their charge is asleep does it mean they should be rushing around cleaning up.

I agree with Insearchof, the help you get from your nanny comes as the relationship develops and she becomes part of the family not a hired help.

Do you provide Pringles? My teens are all babysitters for various local kids..... Pringles are provided as standard!

The nanny agency in the town I used to live in always insisted that if you want something done, make or clear at the beginning and don't be equivocal about it.

Apologetic requests for help with tasks " if you have time" usually means that in the longer run they never do them.

Also some nannies have initiative and some don't. Just like everywhere else.

I agree with you Devon that you need to treat your nanny well and with respect. Everyone works better when they feel valued.One always should with anyone we work with.

That does not prevent the OP from asking for what she wants, straight out. That is surely what good communication is about.

It not or. Damn phone.

My nanny has 3 hours a week with no children (youngest at pre-school that morning). She does ironing (not just kids clothes - whatever's in the basket) / tidying the children's rooms / washing the kids bedlinen / general tidying up around the house / baking biscuits/cakes or peeling veg for dinner / running errands - going into town to change kids library books or post letters

Not all of that every week, obviously, she's not superwoman - but she'll fill the three hours with that type of thing.

I'm really surprised that so many nannies are prepared to do other people's housework for them! If I were a nanny I'd be really insulted to be asked to do cleaning. If I cooked and ate at my employers house I would clear up after myself and stick the dishwasher on maybe (but as your baby is 4 months then this obviously isn't the case for your nanny op), or do the dc laundry. I'd be really horrified to have someone ask me to push a mop round!

Mintyy - do you have large amounts of time with nothing to do? When I had 3 pre-schoolers, I didn't expect my nanny to do anything other than tidy up after the children as she went along. Now that two of them are at school and one is beginning pre-school, my nanny has a lot more 'empty' time. She's the sort of person who prefers having things to do though, and I wouldn't dream of asking her to do anything that she doesn't want to do. But I think tidying / folding laundry / ironing / food prep etc. is all reasonable stuff for a nanny to do.

I think it is important to be clear up front though at the interview stage, so that you both know what each other's expectations are, and you can each offer / accept jobs that you're happy with.

Yes, I have loads of time with nothing to do thanks! Don't see what that has got to do with thinking its a bit off to expect a nanny to do housework. Especially as it wasn't mentioned at interview stage.

When I had a Nanny she would take her lunch hour while my dd slept, and do a bit of laundry hanging out or cooking for dd in the other hour.

If all I was doing was sitting about for 2-3 hours while the baby slept, I would not mind at all being asked to clean a bit - the sort of things that undecidedanduncertain has mentioned.