to approach dds new teacher about masturbating?

[ditsydoll]

Dd is almost 5, and still doesn't get the private thing!
She sits on chairs and rubs backwards and forwards because it tickles her bum as she so nicely puts it..
Iv told her if she wants to do it she has to in her room and it's not something we do in public, she understands and then goes ahead and does it at school anyway
Shes starting a new school soon and I'm not sure if I should bring it up as an issue with her new teacher or how to even approach it or if I should just remind Dd not to do it at school.
I feel like I might have made more of a deal if her doing it before I knew it was normal when she was little and now she does it at school because she tries to hide it (I do feel awful about this and don't know how to fix it, I hope Iv not scarred her for later life)
She does it more in times of anxiety and with the move I have noticed her doing it.
Any advice?

My dd was a bit of a fiddler when she was little, and then she seemed to grow out of it, and now as a teenager is horrified at the idea. I think she was probably five or sixish when we stopped noticing. I always thought it was more of a boy thing, but ds sucked his thumb instead. I think for small children it's often the same sort of level of comfort.

I think if I was the OP I'd just let the teacher know that you think your dd might be feeling a bit anxious and sad about changing school. I found with my children that talking to new teachers when we changed schools/classes was always helpful, especially for my ds who was often difficult, just because it gave the teacher a bit of a heads up and once you've had a bit of a chat it's much easier if issues do come up. One teacher suggested parents write a little note about their children (she also gave us a note about herself) and I really liked that.

WTF... 5 year olds shouldn't be masturbating, especially in class. Talk to the teacher immediately.

our son was dreadful with this, hands down his trousers whenever he could. We dealt with it the same way "that's fine when you're in your room love, please don't do it when you're with others". He's improving, it only happens now when he's very tired and curled up on the sofa with one of us under his blanket. . Thumb goes in mouth, other hand down his trousers. He hides it under his blanket heh.

He'll grow out of it.

WTF... 5 year olds shouldn't be masturbating, especially in class. Talk to the teacher immediately.

How many 5 year-olds do you actually know?

I'm afraid that's not very helpful Bird03

birdo83 You clearly know little about small children and their development. It is not 'masturbating' in a sexual sense, it is merely that the child has found a way of making nice feelings.

Children are sexual beings (in the biological and not social sense) from birth whether we like it of not. Sexuality does not start at age 16.

I'm cracking up at the idea of Phil and Ted high-chairs potentially being marketed as toddler self-pleasuring devices.

To those posters who are shocked - this is very normal stuff. For girls and boys. Pretty much a developmental stage for some kids - it's a kind of comfort and reassurance, like a dummy or a blankie.

I used to read stories to reception aged kids and lots of them had their hands down the pants as well as rocking!

I don't think you need to say anything to the teacher - I just used to say 'hands on knees please Joseph; sit up please Cressida!' and not make a big deal of it.

my dd (5) has learned it's private now, thank God.

Huge empathy to OP, however broad minded it can be mortifying for the parent.

I was lucky in that I had enough mates telling me to relax and she'd grow out of the public activity. And I've always said, 'it isn't wrong it's just private' to avoid giving her negativity to associate with it.

Another friend and I once stood in an adventure playground as her dd (7) hung on to a rope above our heads and seemed oblivious to us and wouldn't come down. My friend was wonderfully calm about it, more than I would have been.
The surprises of parenting!