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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking that my STBXH was irresponsible doing this?

38 replies

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 09:36

Necking back alcohol while standing naked in the shower and then posting it on Youtube and Facebook as part of a game? It wouldn't be any of my business but he was in sole charge of our DC at the time.

AIBU thinking that if I had posted a video of me naked in the shower necking back alcohol in front of two 11 years old children (they were also in the video) it would be thought of as totally inappropriate? It is because he's a man that people seem to find it funny?

OP posts:
sashh · 04/02/2014 09:40

Bloody hell.

Irresponsible is the least of it, that is probably illegal. In fact I'm fairly sure it is.

And it is your business, they are your children.

procrastinatingagain · 04/02/2014 09:41

It's not funny at all. If my exp did that I would think he had gone completely insane and I would stop contact, much as it would pain me to do so.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 09:48

I understand why he is your ex

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 04/02/2014 09:49

What a prick. Is he 17?!

People have died playing this ridiculous game.

Preciousbane · 04/02/2014 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clarksonforPM · 04/02/2014 09:55

I dont understand how it can be illegal ? - blooming stupid - yes !

Original poster
Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:02

He is a 46 year old man. I am fuming.

I only know about it because my DS told me when he dropped them off on Sunday and found the YouTube video for me. Then his friend posted it on Facebook.

Thank you I will save it.

OP posts:
Onesleeptillwembley · 04/02/2014 10:07

I'm no prude, quite the opposite, and if your kids see you naked - meh. But this is seriously inappropriate. What a knob.

teenagetantrums · 04/02/2014 10:12

Hes an idiot, i have been warning my teenagers not to get involved with any of this, what kind of example is he setting for his children, lets hope none of their school friends see it, or their parents.

Original poster
Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:13

Onesleep Absolutely no problem with the nudity at all. Watching the video and seeing my DS getting the can of alcohol for him made my heart lurch because my EX has said and done some awful things when he's had a drink and I certainly don't want my DC to think that this is normal behaviour Sad

OP posts:
Back2Basics · 04/02/2014 10:15

I wouldn't be that bothered really. It is only a game. I'm naked quite a lot in front of my dc and I drink, ok I might not do the two at the same time but meh I don't see the big deal.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 10:24

I would seriously question the brain power of a man in his forties getting involved in this ridiculous teenage drinking game

is he always so juvenile ?

Doubtfuldaphne · 04/02/2014 10:28

It's immature and doesn't teach your children to be responsible around alcohol. He's made a massive faux pas making it public and you'll be able to use it against him.

Original poster
Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:32

Yes AF

This is the man who thought it would be funny to creep up behind our 3 year old son in the garden and throw a full jug of freezing cold water on him while he was standing naked in the paddling pool.

The man who thought it was hilarious to tell our friends a joke about my private parts after a few drinks on a night out. Humiliated doesn't even cover it. He said I had no sense of humour about that one Hmm

That's just a couple of examples. As you said earlier - this is why he is now my ex.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 10:39

what a dick. Whatever did you see in him ? Confused

Original poster
Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:46

I've no idea Smile

OP posts:
Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 10:47

Keep the video and get legal advice to stop his access. This shows his poor judgment when he has been drinking. Completely irresponsible to be necking alcohol while in sole charge of the DC. What an inappropriate example to set to them! It sounds like he is participating in necknominate, people have died playing this drinking game.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 10:51

Fair enough Smile

Original poster
Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:52

Yes it was necknominate.

I won't be stopping his access. The DC would be heartbroken. I know I need to talk to him about this but tbh I'm scared because I know he will flip that I even have a problem with it.

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/02/2014 10:58

I would be questioning why he thought it was an appropriate thing to do whilst looking after children.

If he wants to be a fucking twat, which clearly he does, why would it be necessary to do it with the DCs there?

Doesn't he have enough time on his own to act like an idiot or was it somehow better with an audience?
What do you think he will do if you question the sense and safety of this? Because, tbh if you are scared of his reaction to you asking a bloody important question about the safety if your DCs, id be getting some legal advice in your position

Lottiedoubtie · 04/02/2014 11:07

I would stop access and I'd be showing the video to social services and asking for advice.

It's not even close to normal to involve your children in a naked drinking game and then post a video of it online? Seriously? You don't think stopping access is a good idea??

Original poster
Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 11:16

I will speak to him about it. I am sure it is a one-off and he has done it without thinking how inappropriate it is. The naked thing doesn't bother me I would be equally as upset if he had done it fully-clothed sat on the sofa. Lots of his friends have been doing it and they're all obviously trying to out-do each other!

OP posts:
GTA5MASTER · 04/02/2014 11:19

He's an adult and can do as he wishes what I don't agree with is doing irresponsible things in front of and when he is meant to be looking after his kids.
Perhaps you need to remind him of his responsibilities as a parent.

Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 11:20

What about supervised access? Then he can still see the children but with a responsible adult present. I'd be worried about him being in sole charge of them while playing drinking games.

Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 11:23

You know that putting a joke before other people's wellbeing is not a one off, it's part of a pattern of behaviour that you've already described. Throwing freezing water over a naked 3 year old was not appropriate either.