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AIBU?

Thinking that my STBXH was irresponsible doing this?

38 replies

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 09:36

Necking back alcohol while standing naked in the shower and then posting it on Youtube and Facebook as part of a game? It wouldn't be any of my business but he was in sole charge of our DC at the time.

AIBU thinking that if I had posted a video of me naked in the shower necking back alcohol in front of two 11 years old children (they were also in the video) it would be thought of as totally inappropriate? It is because he's a man that people seem to find it funny?

OP posts:

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sashh · 05/02/2014 05:10

I dont understand how it can be illegal ?

Because it is a video of a naked adult in the presence of children.

The law doesn't take in to account the context.

Preciousbane · 04/02/2014 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 21:32

Yes I copied it before it was deleted.

Still can't believe he thinks what he did was ok.

OP posts:

DangerRabbit · 04/02/2014 21:24

Have you still got a copy of the video to show your solicitor?

AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 21:19

They are as stupid as him then. There's a lot of it about

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 20:01

Spoken to my EX and he has taken the video off YouTube and Facebook.

No apology though. As far as he is concerned he has done nothing wrong.

Since starting this thread I have had conversations with several friends who agree that the video is totally irresponsible - however I now know that a couple of them posted comments on his Facebook page saying the opposite. Parents of children the same age. I don't think they had looked at it from my point of view at all until I asked what they'd think if I'd posted a video of me necking down alcohol while naked in the shower with my children videoing it or what they'd think if the father of their children had done the same.

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landrover · 04/02/2014 12:08

sadly, just been talked about on this morning, 2 lads have just died playing that game

Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 12:04

Neknominate involves nominating people to neck alcohol, alcohol and peer pressure is a bad combination. It has lead to people doing increasingly reckless things to gain attention, necking alcohol in dangerous locations, necking spirits and mixing disgusting/dangerous things with the alcohol.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 11:41

I can understand a stupid teenager doing it, but...

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 04/02/2014 11:38

The game is drinking in a dangerous location and trying to 'one up' the previous person. It's fucking stupid and reckless.

fifi669 · 04/02/2014 11:29

To be fair, no one has died because of neknominate. It involves drinking a pint and nominating someone else. One guy drowned in a river, not sure how you can say that's the games fault. If people decided to drink a pint of bleach or something that really is their own stupidity not the game.

I think I'd just have a word and say what you do in your own time is none of my business, but when you have the kids behave responsibly and set a good example.

Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 11:28

You are not being unreasonable though, that just shows he lacks perspective.

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 11:27

Yes GTA you're absolutely right. That's how I'll put it to him.

Thanks for all the responses. Things have been pretty difficult between us since we split and I know he will just see this as a way of me getting at him. I honestly believe he will think I'm being totally unreasonable, that's just the kind of person he is.

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Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 11:23

You know that putting a joke before other people's wellbeing is not a one off, it's part of a pattern of behaviour that you've already described. Throwing freezing water over a naked 3 year old was not appropriate either.

Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 11:20

What about supervised access? Then he can still see the children but with a responsible adult present. I'd be worried about him being in sole charge of them while playing drinking games.

GTA5MASTER · 04/02/2014 11:19

He's an adult and can do as he wishes what I don't agree with is doing irresponsible things in front of and when he is meant to be looking after his kids.
Perhaps you need to remind him of his responsibilities as a parent.

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 11:16

I will speak to him about it. I am sure it is a one-off and he has done it without thinking how inappropriate it is. The naked thing doesn't bother me I would be equally as upset if he had done it fully-clothed sat on the sofa. Lots of his friends have been doing it and they're all obviously trying to out-do each other!

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Lottiedoubtie · 04/02/2014 11:07

I would stop access and I'd be showing the video to social services and asking for advice.

It's not even close to normal to involve your children in a naked drinking game and then post a video of it online? Seriously? You don't think stopping access is a good idea??

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/02/2014 10:58

I would be questioning why he thought it was an appropriate thing to do whilst looking after children.

If he wants to be a fucking twat, which clearly he does, why would it be necessary to do it with the DCs there?

Doesn't he have enough time on his own to act like an idiot or was it somehow better with an audience?
What do you think he will do if you question the sense and safety of this? Because, tbh if you are scared of his reaction to you asking a bloody important question about the safety if your DCs, id be getting some legal advice in your position

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:52

Yes it was necknominate.

I won't be stopping his access. The DC would be heartbroken. I know I need to talk to him about this but tbh I'm scared because I know he will flip that I even have a problem with it.

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AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 10:51

Fair enough

Topaz25 · 04/02/2014 10:47

Keep the video and get legal advice to stop his access. This shows his poor judgment when he has been drinking. Completely irresponsible to be necking alcohol while in sole charge of the DC. What an inappropriate example to set to them! It sounds like he is participating in necknominate, people have died playing this drinking game.

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Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:46

I've no idea

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AnyFucker · 04/02/2014 10:39

what a dick. Whatever did you see in him ?

Wishyouwould · 04/02/2014 10:32

Yes AF

This is the man who thought it would be funny to creep up behind our 3 year old son in the garden and throw a full jug of freezing cold water on him while he was standing naked in the paddling pool.

The man who thought it was hilarious to tell our friends a joke about my private parts after a few drinks on a night out. Humiliated doesn't even cover it. He said I had no sense of humour about that one

That's just a couple of examples. As you said earlier - this is why he is now my ex.

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