Lunchbox suspension..

[JunoMacGuff]

here

It's from a DM article apparently though I refuse to investigate that.

A school have really suspended a child based on his parents actions? And those actions were to give him mini cheddars?

Do you not give your child matches to light the fire QQ?

She eats it raw, ivykaty44, not processed by fire.

All edam cheese comes in wax and is ball-shaped. Like cheddar is made in wheels. Some of that is covered in black wax. How are you defining over-processed? Most shop bought cheese is mass produced.

Is it better if I cut a chunk of edam off the big ball and wrap it in cling film? And if so, why?

QQ, do you think there's scope for pack-up families to arrange pig sharing, much as one might organise an au pair share in the summer hols? I'm thinking it might be less wasteful.

It's possible WelshMaenad - where do you live?

We have tried other, smaller animals, but rabbit was "too tickly" according to DD (she's too lazy to skin it properly) and you can imagine how unimpressed the head was with her 24 live blackbirds not baked or in a pie. Apparently it's not the done thing to send your child to school with two dozen garden birds, a toasting fork and a lasso.

Some Fridays I have to send her with a bag of sugar and some Red Bull if the pig died early on in the week and has started to smell, so sharing might be good.

Thing is ham is not cooked flesh of pig, it has to go through the process of being cured first before being cooked and I doubt the shared au pair will stay with the family long enough to see this process through

We're in the Valleys QQ - if you're not nearby you're welcome to send your kids to us for survival training. We can send them up the opencast to hack out their own lumps of coal for cooking fires. Proper land to fork shit, none of yer convenience gas ovens.

Of course, ivykaty - ham is pork meat that has been preserved in some way. We 'preserve' it by keeping the pig alive for as long as possible by only taking small pieces at a time and bandaging it up afterwards - as I say, you can just about make them last a week this way. I'm not sure if it qualifies as 'ham' though - I think purists might insist we either salted or smoked the pork for it to be ham.

Is anyone else harking back to the Torchwood episode with the huge alien thing being hacked up alive for pie meat?

I'm thinking of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. I've never seen a episode of Torchwood.

The coal-hacking sounds great, WelshMaenad. I think a life inspired equally by one of those paleo-diet books and 'Stig of the Dump' would make one immortal. Seemed to work for Stig, anyway.

And you think a shared au pair is going to live with the smell of a live rotting pig flesh....

No ivykaty - that's the brilliant thing - as long as you don't actually kill it, it doesn't rot you see.

Ivy, we could house the rotting pig and the au pair separately, don't go all Geneva Convention on us.

Do you think the au pair would mind sharing with un-baked blackbirds? I still have seventeen four and thirteen left.

Real risks of avian flu there QQ. Lawsuit waiting to happen.

True enough WM. They have to go though, they keep pecking the pig's bandages. I think I'll use them to fatten up the cat from next door.

Cat is a bit stringy. If you don't want to actually cook the birds could you not do a ceviche type dish by marinating them in lime juice? Freshly squeezed of course.

Problem with ceviche is the food miles on the limes :( I favour a gravadlax type curing. And you can apply to the pig! It's like a live kebab :)

I wonder what the stamina of a blackbird is? Perhaps I could train them to transport limes in exchange for their lives?

QQ some type of magic pig you have then that doesn't stink when alive with rotting flesh

The flesh doesn't rot when it's alive if you do it right - in the same way my finger hasn't rotted even though I cut it with a paring knife last week because I'm clumsy.

You obviously haven't had the joys of either humanflesh rotting on a live person and dressing being changed every few days due to the stench, possibly you should let the doctors know how to do such thing properly I am sure they would be interested

I think a life inspired equally by one of those paleo-diet books and 'Stig of the Dump' would make one immortal. Seemed to work for Stig, anyway.

But Stig used to drink water that was stored in a container marked 'poison'. I think most schools would take a dim view of that. In fact, as Stig never went to school why were his parents not being fined??? That book is a whole thread in itself Hoiking judgey pants in anticipation of the slating of cave-dwellers parenting skills