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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my colleagues to swivel when they next ask me for.....

55 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 03/02/2014 01:52

money for a collection?
we seem to have collections for every one and every thing at work - and i give to them freely provided i have the money.
last year a colleague had surgery - they did a collection
last year a colleague was ill - they did a collection
same colleague left the department - they did a collection
a colleague had a baby - they did a collection
another colleague had a baby - they did a collection AND baby shower
another colleague had a baby....collection
a colleague got married.....collection.....

4 weeks ago i had fairly major surgery. ill be off work around 8 to 12 weeks.
now, due to the fact im a bit of a hand wringing guardian reading hippy im not the most popular person at work.....(there is a certain "culture"....and i most certainly dont fit it....i used to just keep quiet but now i tend not to......)

i drove the 60 miles tonight to take in my sick note and save my supervisor the trouble of coming out to see me.....
2 people asked how i was out of 7.
i didnt even get a card.

so. the next time i get asked to contribute to a collection would it be so unreasonable of me to tell them to fuck right off to politely decline and thank them for their non existent get well card?

these are people who are supposed to have my back covered when things go tits up.....and dont. i have gone to pub fights at 2am on my own to find the only back up ive had is from another group and my supervisor....

ive no real idea what the issue is and im beyond caring too much....i get on really well with everyone else except a few of the group i work with, a couple of which are really nasty bullying types who use put downs to get laughs and hide when work comes in.....

i stopped attending anything outside of work when one of them took the piss out of my husband because he is a quiet and shy. i dont even go to the xmas party now....

im not really bothered by any of this but i feel a point to prove coming on when they ask me for money for the next occasion......

unreasonable? or not?

OP posts:
bragmatic · 03/02/2014 02:09

Nah, fuck 'em.

I wish you a speedy recovery.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 03/02/2014 02:45

I think I'd take the PA route.

"Oh, I thought we'd stopped doing collections... "

Followed bt a winning smile.

And a hair swish.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 03/02/2014 02:45

Rood.

How you doin?

ChaosTrulyReigns · 03/02/2014 02:46

Alopogies, that was Rood of me...

Adeleh · 03/02/2014 02:51

They sound pretty horrible tbh. Don't give anymore. Every time you wold have donated, put money in a jar, and then after 6 months or so treat yourself. I left somewhere I'd worked for 15 years and didn't even get a card. 10 months later my boss emailed the dept to say 'Adeleh has gone. We'll remember her for a long time.' Life's too short. Hope you feel better soon.

Kytti · 03/02/2014 02:57

Stuff 'em. Sounds dreadful. You can't have one rule for one and another for someone else.

YANBU.

BumpNGrind · 03/02/2014 03:08

That's awful OP and absolutely you shouldn't give to collections at work anymore (unless they are for charities you support). I'd go with the 'oh i thought we didn't do collections anymore' approach too.

Hope you have a speedy recovery

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 03/02/2014 03:16

i give to charity by standing order.....

i think i will go with the innocent face and "oh - i thought we werent doing collections anymore since when i was off i didnt get a card....."

sod it. im too nice.
ill give passive aggressive a try.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 03/02/2014 04:16

Good to see you Vicar!

I hope you have a speedy recovery!

Do say that you thought they had stopped doing collections, Ley us know the response!

daisychain01 · 03/02/2014 04:50

Yes I love Chaos's PA retort. I thought we'd stopped doing collections, and I'd start with No piss off but then again, Im a horrible person Grin

I wish you well after your op. let us know how you are going. Nothing wrong with being a Guardian reader either!

DarlingGrace · 03/02/2014 04:55

I'm impressed in your area it only takes one copper to do anything. Round here, they travel in threes Hmm

GingerBlondecat · 03/02/2014 05:28

(((((((((((((((((Vicar)))))))))))))))))

PollyPumpkins · 03/02/2014 05:40

Hi Vicar

I hope you're feeling better :)

YANBU - naughty naughty coppers not caring & sharing!

Mogz · 03/02/2014 05:50

Speedy recovery to you. I'm in the same boat, collections for every single fucker, except me on deaths door, the only contact I had was 'well you know we'll need to see a fit note for that'. Gee thanks ya tossers!

Groovee · 03/02/2014 06:39

YANBU, hope you have a good recovery, but next time let your boss come out to you for the sick note and burst out laughing when you next get asked for money. They're not worth it if they can't even back you up like colleagues should.

ChineseFireball · 03/02/2014 07:04

Definitely agree with the "oh I thought we had stopped doing collections..." Arses. And next time I'd send the note in the post and let them come to you.

Hope you have a speedy and uneventful recovery. Smile

saintmerryweather · 03/02/2014 07:04

Nope fuck em. I worked in a team for 4 years, thoughtbi got on with most of them really well and when I left I got a fiver in a card. Across 35 or so people. Twats.

Hope youre getting on alright

firedengines · 03/02/2014 07:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beccadugs · 03/02/2014 07:11

I totally agree...

I was off for 5 weeks with sever HG and in and out of hospital for much of that time. No one knew what was wrong with me, did I get a card?!?

A colleague was off for a week and we all had to chip in to send flowers. I'm afraid I refused and pointed out that no one had sent me a card/flowers when I was off for a much longer period...

Beccadugs · 03/02/2014 07:12

P.S. Get well soon!

PenelopeLane · 03/02/2014 07:16

Hate it when collections aren't consistent! I worked somewhere once where a colleague and I shared a birthday, and there was a collection for her birthday and not mine. She'd been there longer than me, but still ... I know the shame wasn't mine but I felt so embarrassed when she was presented her card and gift and I just stood there looking awkward.

BellaVita · 03/02/2014 07:17

God they sound awful Vicar.

Agree with the "thought we weren't doing collections anymore".

Hope you are feeling better x

OodlesofOodles · 03/02/2014 07:32

Same here. Colleague went off a month before me to have a baby. Full party at lunchtime, pile of presents. Flowers and card sent when baby was born a week later.
When I went off I didn't even get a card.
I stopped putting in after that.

Dunwhingin · 03/02/2014 07:38

anyone who breaks the culture of collections every five minutes gets my vote!
I would go with the 'I thought we'd stopped collections, so many cant afford to these days' [twinkly smile] kind of line

and also fuck 'em, I hope your recovery is going well

KateSpade · 03/02/2014 09:00

My first ever work 'night out' ended in rediculous consequences, so now, unfortunately I am busy all the time!

& bragmatic got it right with fuck 'em!

Keep trying to tell myself that too!....

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