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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let DH use my house keys again?

55 replies

meeroolla · 02/02/2014 00:16

DH is useless at taking care of his house keys and is always mislaying them around the house, or locking them in his car.

So he thinks it's ok to just help himself to my keys all the time, and then mislays them too. Which really pisses me off as I always look after my keys and make sure I don't lose them.

He's done things such as gone off on a 5 day work trip 200 miles away and taken my keys with him by mistake as he'd been using them (they had my car keys on too so I was stranded in our village with no car). He also always grabs my keys if we're going out and strolls off to the car with them (we always go out in my car as a family rather than in his), leaving me to 'lock up' with no keys. So I end up having to walk to the car, get the keys and walk back again to lock up. Basically he's totally thoughtless about it all.

He used my keys again this afternoon, and has now put them somewhere in the house and I can't find them to lock up to go to bed. He's been in bed for 2 hours and I've been upstairs and asked him where my keys are but he says he doesn't know, and then went straight back to sleep. So now I can't go up to bed until I find them, as our door isn't a yale type door, it just has a handle so you can get in from outside unless it's locked.

I know its a minor thing really but AIBU to stop him using my keys in future?

OP posts:

stripeygreensocks · 02/02/2014 00:21

Yanbu and wake him up now, tell him your going to bed and he needs to lock up.

LindyHemming · 02/02/2014 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldmandra · 02/02/2014 00:24

Have a spare set cut, hide them and don't tell him they exist.

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 02/02/2014 00:24

My Dp is like that and it's very annoying. So I hide my keys so he has to look for his own.

SavoyCabbage · 02/02/2014 00:29

My dh has taken mine to work a couple of times and I have gone mad about it. I can't use the car for a start and also I am locked in. Well, I can get out through the garage but I don't like the feeling of being locked in. I had a spare set cut and they are kept next to the front door and they are not to be moved, in case there's a fire.

Then I bought a really massive key ring for my keys. It's too big for dh's pocket and I use a bag.

MarianneBrandon · 02/02/2014 00:30

I would wake him up and tell him to find them as he is the one that had them last. Leave him to it and go to bed.

Original poster

meeroolla · 02/02/2014 00:32

It's his attitude that really pisses me off. When I just tried to wake him up he was really dismissive and just acted as though it wasn't his problem. And when he does things such as taking them away with him for the week, I'm just expected to just accept it as being one of those things.

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 02/02/2014 00:32

YANBU, hide them from him in future.

For now, wake him up and make him find them.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 02/02/2014 00:34

Keep your keys hidden.

Arrange a duff set and put them in the place you usually keep ypurs so if he takes them and then they dont work he can be inconvenienced for a change.

Monicabilongame · 02/02/2014 00:38

Hide your keys and take his. then accuse him of having your keys and having lost his and make him suffer for it.

Plateofcrumbs · 02/02/2014 00:40

YANBU but definitely get a couple of spare sets cut: we have one spare set in circulation for convenience and another spare set which is tucked away in a drawer for emergencies etc.

LifeIsForTheLiving · 02/02/2014 00:43

I feel your pain. Dh is a key-pocketer. He sees a bunch of keys and they go in his pocket. It drives me wild.

Once, he drove to work (50 miles) and when he was there discovered he had my car keys in his pocket. So I had to drag the dc to school on the bus then walk 30 minutes from there to work. Then back at school pick up time.

THEN, when I had already been on the phone to dh shouting to make him aware he had my keys...that night his boss asked him if he wanted the company car for a couple of days (much nicer, no way dh would turn it down). So what did he do? Drove the company car back that night and left MY car keys locked in HIS car, 50 miles away in the work carpark. So that was two full days I had no transport for me and the dc to get to work and school.

Pillock.

Spermysextowel · 02/02/2014 00:45

My Dsis hides all sorts of things from her DH; keys; Sellotape; mini set of screwdrivers; combs. A fairly basic survival kit.
I'm divorced but will be hiding my car keys from my DSs when they're old enough to drive. They'll be in my knicker drawer with my Sellotape & mini screwdrivers. Keys not my sons.

DoJo · 02/02/2014 00:46

I have to say, I don't understand why you just left him to go back to sleep knowing that you would have to stay up until the keys were found? His attitude sucks because he knows that if he doesn't do anything, you will sort it out, find your keys (and probably his as well in the process) whilst he sleeps.
I don't agree with getting spares cut to hide as that just puts you out even more without inconveniencing him in the slightest. In your position, I would stop letting him use your keys. Keep them in your pocket or attached to your handbag with one of those stretchy things, and refuse to let him take them if he can't even be bothered to return them to you. Make sure that his carelessness only inconveniences himself and he will soon work out how to keep track of them. Do you have a hook or similar that he can hang them on when he comes in? If not, it sounds like a DIY project might be in his immediate future to resolve this issue once and for all!

Jux · 02/02/2014 01:04

Definitely hide them from him in future. For now, wake him up and tell him to help you look so you can lock up. Then go to bed, while he sorts it out.

I keep my keys on my bag, or sometimes a pocket, so it's a bit of a pain rooting through my bag to find them so no one bothers.

YellowDinosaur · 02/02/2014 08:39

Honestly I'm not sure how you're going to stop him given that he doesn't ask and just takes them anyway.

I'd put yours somewhere he can't find them. And I bloody hope you kicked his arse out of bed last night to find the keys and lock up. I suspect not though...

ShadowOfTheDay · 02/02/2014 08:43

My keys have a massive cutesy key ring on there - really brightly coloured too so that they don't get "mislaid" by others - or even taken any more since they cannot be slipped in a pocket without it bulging...

Joysmum · 02/02/2014 08:44

I too would not have let a serial key loser go to sleep for me to have to stay up and find them. Yes he's in the wrong but you have some manning up to do to ensure that in future there are consequences to his thoughtlessness.

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt · 02/02/2014 08:49

My DH is like this. He loses keys and his wallet at regular intervals. As a wedding present I bought him a box to keep his things in so he always knew where they were (I'm sick of "Have you seen my xxx" but a quick glance in it this morning and it contains some contact lenses, a couple of quid, some stamps, his bank dongle (which has no battery and e won't have remembered to request a new one) and a mini screwdriver. No sign of his keys, wallet or phone.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 02/02/2014 08:54

Mine's not quite that bad, but does have the same tendencies. We keep all the keys in a box on the wall in the hall, but he tends to forget and leave them in pockets, so the next morning I can't find them anywhere. We do have spares of everything, but they are all separate and it takes a few minutes to sort out the entire set I need. The other thing he does is if we go out in my car at the weekend, he slings his keys in the door pocket of the car as he says they dig into his leg if he sits with them in his own pocket. One day I went off to work early only to get a call when I was 20 miles away with him desperate for his keys that were in the door pocket as he didn't have his work key (only got one as it is one of those security ones that you can't copy) and he was the only one due in that day. I had to drive 10 miles back and meet him half way, not happy.

MellowAutumn · 02/02/2014 08:55

Forgetful is one thing, disrespect is another. You need to make him understand how it makes you feel and if that makes no difference make it ducking painful every time it happens. Move/loose his keys just before work and go out and let him fix the problems caused.

brettgirl2 · 02/02/2014 08:58

yabu. I lose my keys all the time, I honestly can't help it, it's like there's something wrong with me.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 02/02/2014 09:02

His attitude towards you is dismissive, that'd really piss me off.

How long did it take you to find them or did he get his lardy arse out of bed to help?

londonrach · 02/02/2014 09:10

Dh has the same problem re keys but he never uses mine just looks for his for ages and gets me to help. Drove me mad. I solved problem with a wooden bowl near the coat rack away from door. Over time he now dumps keys, phone, wallet, cuddly toy in bowl. Took 2 years but now its rare the keys etc arent there. :-))))). Buy a wooden bowl best thing i ever did. Placement if bowl is very important as needs to be where you walk passed but not too close to door...

londonrach · 02/02/2014 09:12

Past not passed....

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