AIBU to suggest that every month when me period arrives I slightly surprised

[RoseRedder]

I am a women a grown up women

I have never got to grip with my cycle and I'm always taken by surprise and usually have a small pant accident every single month

Do other people have this or I'm I just weird by not knowing my cycle?

I always get little signs a few days before. Then I think 'no, surely not, I was only on a couple of weeks ago'. Then I check dates and realise 28 days have flown by.

Until TTC I never ever had a clue. I just didn't pay attention to cycles at all so frequently had accidents.

I used an app while TTC which counted down. It current says 73 days late

*currently

If you get caught out every month because you have never got to grips with your cycle, maybe every three weeks you start to use pant liners for a fortnight, just to avoid said accident?

YANBU at all. Pre DC I was on the pill, so 'knew' when period coming due to packet running out. Still surprised by totally unreasonable behaviour PMT. TTC discovered my cycle exactly 28 days . Still surprised by crying bleeding. Post DC using coil. Now totally surprised by everything as sometimes period is evident and sometimes not. I am clueless. At 38 and having experienced this phenomenon for over 20 years I am still shocked every time.

In retrospect, there is a clue. The morning I choose white knickers, that will be the day of a catastrophic flood.

I always get surprised by the awful migraines I get, thinking "ooh how awful, haven't had one of these for a while" ( duh, around 28 days ago!) and am then surprised and relieved when I get my period around 20 hours after the migraine starts
In my defence, I didn't have periods at all for around 15 years due to depo and implants so they're fairly new to me again. Still, the migraine thing has happened consistently, every month for around a year now.......

Yep you could use an app.

My mum always taught me to mark when my period started on the calendar. She used the incredibly subtle "P. Start" on hers. I just used to draw a dot in the corner of the day. Because they're arranged in weeks you can just count down 4 weeks to get a rough idea of when you're due on, it also means if you ever think you're pregnant you can look back and check and/or tell a doctor for any other reason.

I think the problem is that it lasts for the best part of a week anyway so if it always feels like four weeks has come around quickly, it hasn't! It's three weeks!

I was lucky, I had a 26 day cycle and felt tummy cramps about 4 hours before the bleed and craved red meat 3 days before. I would record when I came on in outlook and set a 25 day reminder so I always knew.

I'm even luckier now, I have the minerva coil and don't have any periods.

I did go a bit mad as a teenager though we got given little cute mini calendars by the Always lady where you could mark which days on and whether your flow was heavy, light or medium. I used to write really detailed notes including what colour the blood was and whether there was any cramping

I can tell when to expect it by the symptoms in the few days before, but certainly couldn't tell you the number of days. Apart from that, generally just wing it.

I don't have a clue, with the implant at the moment it's varying so yes- I get surprised every time! It's usually when it's just started I realise that I should have known as all the signs were there, one day I'll learn!

The arrival of mine is always a surprise and, apart from when TTC DC2, always accompanied by a sense of relief. Yes, I could track it more closely but, in my defence, my cycle varies between 25 & 30ish days and always turns up on tge most inconvenient day possible. For years pre-DC, my period always started around 3pm after a morning of cramping, lasted until 5pm the next day & then did 9-5 for the next three days. Since DC, it can start at any time of day or night. I find the latter most annoying.
Like a PP, when I eventually realised I was pregnant, I had no idea what the date of my LMP was. I realised I was pregnant towards the end of Feb, knew I had had a period in November as I'd had it when I went to stay with a friend but had no recollection of whether I'd had one in December or not.

I do sometimes, usually I get warning from the hellish pms where I alternate between being suicidal/wanting a divorce/ hating everyone to being in heaps of tears and loving them all SO. MUCH. but even then the actual event appearing can be a few days out.

And on th occasions the pms doesn't kick in it catches me totally unaware.

In fairness to myself I've never been that regular and now in my late 30s it's probably easier than it ever has been to keep tabs on. But still I fail.

Mine are all over the place, sometimes they're every other week, then I can go 6 Weeks before the next one, they've been like that since I had ds2 nearly 6 years ago I have recently noticed that my left boob gets very sore and I get really thirsty a couple of days before I start though so I know now to expect it

I have NEVER been 'regular'. Until 6 months ago, I had an uneven cycle - 35 days then 24 days, alternated. I could never fucking remember if I was on a 'short' cycle or a long cycle.

Now I get constantly caught out, mostly because I have had 11 periods in the last SIX FUCKING MONTHS and my GP won't do hormone tests. (Had other bloods done, all ok-ish, some slightly hunky but not enough to dx anything, thyroid low end of normal, pushing abnormal).

And my premenstrual symptoms are lasting anything from 1 day to 7 days too, which makes it not that easy to predict. I know I'm due soon, my tits have felt like someone filled them with red hot cement for three days now, and I'm not fit to be around other human beings a bit tetchy today...

But honestly, a week of bleeding and then around half a week average PMS every damn fortnight.

And the cost of Sanpro too. I can't get on with a mooncup, washables leak too quickly, and anything that tries to scent my chuff with flowers gives me thrush. So I'm having to pay ££ every month for those Always infinity. As I have them on for more of the month than I don't.

It's a shame I'm only 32, I've had enough of periods this last 6 months to last a fucking life time. I'm done procreating, I don't need them now, and I certainly DON'T need two every bastarding month!!

Felt good to get THAT off my chest!

So no, OP, YANBU at all!

My body has never had a regular pattern of timing and warning symptoms. It amazes me that I managed to conceive two children fairly easily. DS1 was very flukey and the ov sticks didn't get round to being opened until TTCing DS2. I have learned through TTC that I tend to get ov symptoms. Prior to that, I just noticed I had warning pains that made me think my period was coming, but nothing happened for a couple of weeks. My record was 3m in the early days, butIin my 20s, I could easily vary within 4-6weeks.

Could use an app if you don't want accidents?

Before TTC I really couldn't have told you how long my cycle was or how regular it was (other than it was roughly once a month but not absolutely clockwork). I rarely came on heavily immediately and always carried a tampon in my bag so just dealt with it when it arrived. Never seemed like a big enough deal to need to monitor it. Cycle charting when TTC was a bit of a revelation.

I sometimes start arfuments with pwople the day before my period arrives

Is thar pms?

I'm tpying one handed in bed sorry dor typos

I don't have a smartphone

I wish mine came as a surprise. The PMT symptoms start a week before building to a crescendo the day before it starts where I'm ravenous and so irritable that I want to take an axe to anyone and everyone. Then the dam breaks - I start peeing profusely and my appetite is reduced to nothing. Five days later: it's over.

You're not unreasonable for it to come as a surprise OP, just lucky IMO.

I'm the same OP. It's because although my period arrives every month, there is about 5 days variation in when it comes.