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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the kids with us to view a house?

89 replies

monkeynuts123 · 01/02/2014 10:59

Just wondering what the general opinion is here. We went to view a house and took kids, toddler and 5 year old with us. They were both well behaved and didn't run off around the house touching things or misbehaving but stayed with us as we viewed the house and only asked can they take their coats off and did they have to take their shoes off? The little one had to be watched by the stairs but we took it in turns so we both had a chance to focus on viewing the house. There was no playing about, shouting, interrupting, eating or filling nappies. We arrived at the appointment on time and left on time.

The estate agent said we should have left them outside in the car and that in her day she got left in the car while her dad was in the pub. I said that people don't tend to leave their kids in cars much these days if they can avoid it and she said in her day she was too scared of being hit and that things today have gone too far the other way.

AIBU to think that if children behave themselves they ought to be allowed to look at the house in which they may one day live?! I don't understand why some people have a problem with children just being there, if they're being naughty or inconsiderate I get it but if they're being well behaved what's the problem? I left feeling that we were in the wrong and our kids are a pain in the arse just by existing.

OP posts:
Trooperslane · 01/02/2014 11:00

She IBVVVU.

Isn't it illegal to leave kids in car?

She needs to brush up on her customer services skills.

BehindLockNumberNine · 01/02/2014 11:04

She is quite insane and I would pass her comments onto her office. She needs a customer relations course at the very least.

Of course you take you children with you when viewing a house - they are to live there too!
And if you don't want to take them, arrange for a relative / friend to look after them.
Leave them in the car??? And her remark about being too scared of being hit was odd too.

Joules68 · 01/02/2014 11:05

No it's not illegal

But how can you predict if they will behave well or not. And aren't they a distraction?

headoverheels · 01/02/2014 11:06

YANBU

RevoltingPeasant · 01/02/2014 11:08

Erm I'd be finding a new estate agent. Seriously. She sounds like she had an abusive childhood, which is dreadful, but you're there to buy a house, not offer therapy.

I'd find it weird if you didn't take your DC at least on second viewing. They will be living there, after all!

Lottiedoubtie · 01/02/2014 11:09

Yanbu and she has forgotten you are the customer!

TheCrackFox · 01/02/2014 11:12

The estate agent sounds like an utter dick and I would complain to her boss.

Ihatepeas · 01/02/2014 11:13

I have taken toddler dd to view houses with me in the past mainly as we have no one to look after her. It's always been fine. Yanbu.

starlight1234 · 01/02/2014 11:13

No I would take my child... My only worry would be the 5 year old falling in love with a house but it not been suitable or one you want to buy..I certainly would not be leaving my child in the car and certainly not because an estate agent said I should... YANBU

bochead · 01/02/2014 11:19

Not at all sure the estate agents childhood should be looked at in terms of an ideal to imitate. Frankly it sounds well dodgy & likely to result in a SW visit in the modern world!

I'm taking my 9 year old to all house viewings. He's pointed out houses that were unsuitable in terms of his disabilities to me. I really don't want to move a child with sensory issues into an environment he can't tolerate.

ALL the estate agents I've dealt with have been lovely in terms of catering for his needs, from the selling agent who helped with viewings, to those who have pointed out properties I might not otherwise have considered now we are buying. In the process of selling up, renting somewhere temporary and buying a new place we've met several estate agents in two cities and none have been as yukky as the one you met. The lady has ishoos!

The estate agent should be helping to direct you to properties with a safe garden etc as per the needs of a young family and encouraging you to buy. She is paid good money by the vendor to facilitate the viewing so that the home sells. Frankly if I were the seller of a property on her books and word got back to me about her behavior I'd be FURIOUS.

Original poster
monkeynuts123 · 01/02/2014 11:22

We didn't have anyone to look after them this time and if we did a second viewing we would do that on our own. I think a first viewing isn't as important because you do a few of them before you find a house you want to buy. The house wasn't cheap either and we've left feeling a bit crap Confused

OP posts:
DoItTooJulia · 01/02/2014 11:24

Ignore her! Or tell her that with an attitude like that she won't be successfull in selling you a house.

Mummyfizzy · 01/02/2014 11:24

Take your kids. I know of two people who've sold recently to a families specifically because the potential buyers brought their kids along. Both older people excited to see their home become a family home again. Cute kids choosing their bedrooms etc YANBU!

umiaisha · 01/02/2014 11:28

As long as you don't lay your sleeping child with muddy wellies on down on my sofa I wouldn't care!

If you are selling a family house I think you expect children to come along to viewings too.

alarkthatcouldpray · 01/02/2014 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thedogwakesuptoodamnearly · 01/02/2014 11:31

I'm a nosey neighbour, I like to see the kids that might be moving in :)

mousmous · 01/02/2014 11:31

yanbu
we viewed with dc, it gives you a good sense of space imo.
no agent ever bat an eyelid.
our dc (similar age to yours) got a good briefing on how to behave and some haribos as bribe reward afterwards.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 01/02/2014 11:31

We always brought ours. Aged 18mths and 3 at the time. Never had a comment. I'd complain her also.

Theodorous · 01/02/2014 11:32

They will be living there too! We took everyone to another country once to see if they liked it. Qatar May have some bad points but everywhere is open to kids except nightclubs. She sounds like a snooty cow and in 5 years will have had her own and will be one of those people that think the world revolves around people with kids

thenamestheyareachanging · 01/02/2014 11:33

Always taken ours. I'd complain about that estate agent too.

Nanny0gg · 01/02/2014 11:35

Um, she didn't necessarily have an abusive childhood - it was normal to be left in the car at the pub, with a lemonade and crisps with a salt packet! And you did get a clout if you misbehaved/answered back.

However - totally irrelevant in the context of house viewing. It must be a pain if children are badly behaved, but yours weren't so she had no reason to comment.

I think it's perfectly normal to take children to viewings. If you want to go back and see it again, might be wise to ask for someone different to show you round, or suggest she keeps her opinions to herself.

AfricanExport · 01/02/2014 11:37

I don't think I would buy a house my children hadn't seen. They also have to live in it and we make decisions as a family, wherever possible Wink .
YANBU

DarlingGrace · 01/02/2014 11:40

I wouldn't take children that age, their opinion is totally irrelevant and would be just as likely to want to buy a house because it had a pond/bed with pink canopy/guinea pig pen.

As a home owner, no, I wouldn't want someone elses children through my house, no matter how well behaved.

You might take them on a second viewing to show them what you've bought.

rookiemater · 01/02/2014 11:42

Good grief - I was unaware there was any etiquette around who you brought to a house viewing, YANBU.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 01/02/2014 11:45

I'd complain. We had to take ours to most house visits too. Leave children in a car, in an area you don't know, by a road? Parenting has come a long way since that estate agent was a child.