To think friend's flirting and sex games are not normal!? Lighthearted!

[cottonwoolbaddies]

We have a group of friends from school and the local area, and one couple in particular seem to play a lot of games when we're out.

Examples are, practically forcing a newly single female friend onto her husband on the dancefloor. So the wife pushes her up against him and says go on, dance with him, and the husband forces his legs between hers and is practically grinding her! Half an hour later the husband and wife are outside passionately snogging while newly single friend is feeling mortified about the dance floor experience.

Another time the wife initiates a game where she discreetly dares some husbands to approach other wives and touch them in an inappropriate way, for example, rub their leg or something, and then the wife also does a similar dare where she touches an unsuspecting husband. Can I add, these poor suspects are not part of our group of friends!

Another time wife initiates full tongue snogging with other wives.

We're all in our early 40's. I just find it moronic that they behave like this at this age! I've behaved in a similar manner but when I was in my twenties and would feel an idiot doing it now.

Is this how they keep their sex life exciting? They definitively seem to get some kind of kick out of it.

Why have you put Lighthearted in your title?

Why does anyone?

They sound like arses

Yabu

It's not lighthearted it's fucking weird.

I don't know. To indicate I'm not seriously pondering this but find it weird.

Do they have pampas grass on their front lawn OP?

We've known each other for years and years but I've only noticed their behaviour in the last few months. I 'm a bit confused as to why they would embarrass themselves like that. They usually seem very concerned with their perceived social status.

These people sound just AWFUL.

I knew a couple like this. The husband eventually broke into my house and assaulted me. Massive boundary issues from both of them.

I'd steer clear.

Fuck Nolans that is terrible!

Hahaha. I've wondered if they could end up swinging in a few years time.

But the wife has cut off any friends who have divorced, so no single friends allowed. So it's weird that she would encourage husband to dirty dance with newly single friend.

What a bunch of sad little arseholes.

So, what exactly is your aibu?

There's nothing lighthearted about it...she forced her single friend to dance with her husband? Her husband forces his legs between hers and grinds her? Does this sound lighthearted or normal to you? Do you really have to ask? .

Nolans that is awful. I'm stunned. You must have been terrified. I hope he was arrested.

Oh, Nolan

In all honesty, I'm sitting here thinkng "itchy chin" at OP

Fake book when you put it like that. Other than this weird behaviour they are very upstanding people, and very nice people. I have backed off socially since noticing this, and after talking to my poor single friend and hearing what happened.

Yes, it was horrible. But with hindsight all the behaviour before was a sort of grooming pattern. They were both stunned that I reported him for assaulting me (I was asleep and he left my dh in the pub and knew I was at home alone with the kids) as it was just friendly flirting and I was overreacting.

You'd be amazed how many mutual friends agreed with them, too.

I'm not suggesting the same thing would happen with this couple, but it does point to really crappy boundaries and seeing other people as props in their lives. It's horrible behavior.

Can I just clarify actually, when I said in my OP I've behaved in a similar manner in my twenties, that would only be the snogging other women once or twice when drunk. I have never forced my partner onto a friend, or tried to get other people's partners to do weird things.

Both very upstanding in the community, too, youth leaders, school governors etc...

Well Nolans I can believe other friends took their side, because in our group of friends no one else seems to bag an eyelid at their behaviour and I wonder if I am the only one who notices, or thinks it's weird how they seem to get their kicks.

The wife I think, thinks this behaviour shows she's still sexy young and vibrant. But it doesn't at all.

Ditto, school governor and local GP.

I would feel very embarassed for this woman.

I thought you were going to say people in the 20's. They are in their 40's oh yuk! Jesus I am immature but no way would I act like that. I expect they already swing or go dogging and are maybe trying to recruit

Nolan poor you that must have been awful and really terrible that friends could not see the issue

The husband is often flirty with me and it seems to slightly p* off his wife. The husband also makes comparisons in front of wife between her and I, that out me in a better light. Silly little things like 'look at how tidy cottonwool's house is, why isn't our house like that?

This is not how adults conduct themselves among friends. Your friend's behaviour is mortifying. I would distance myself.

My good freinds were amazing, it was a real watershed event actually. I'm OK.
Sorry, op, didn't mean to make it non lighthearted, but your op really resonated.
This stuff is rarely harmless.