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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say "pardon?"

294 replies

matildamatilda · 29/01/2014 19:24

So I'm American and in the US it's not rude to say "What?" when someone calls you or when you didn't hear something.

It's informal, but not at all rude. Especially if you say it in a pleasant tone. So kids wouldn't be told off for answering "what?" the way they are here. It's just "what" as in "what did you say?"

Since I've lived here I've been training myself to say "Pardon?" but I just can't get the hang of it. It sounds kind of... supercilious maybe? Huffy? Am I just not pulling it off?

I usually end up saying, "Here I am, " or "Sorry did you say something?"

Do you say "pardon"?

OP posts:
2tiredtocare · 29/01/2014 21:01

YY to that Lydia

FootieOnTheTelly · 29/01/2014 21:03

I am English but lived in the US and Canada for years with my kids and DH. I am comfortable with 'what', 'sorry' and 'pardon'. I think I prefer 'sorry' but as long as the intonation is ok then 'what' can sound ok too.

'What' is not ignorant Confused It is informal but it is ok to use.

I taught in Canada and would never have let the kids say 'I want....' Without a please in front of it.

harriet247 · 29/01/2014 21:03

Pardon always, I think what sounds like you're a bit annoyed if that makes sense. Oh and always may I nooooot can I. I worked in luxury industry for long time so maybe makes a difference

littlebluedog12 · 29/01/2014 21:04

Just re-read the OP- you would still never say 'pardon' if someone called you, that wouldn't make sense! In that case you could say 'what?' or 'yes?', 'what's up?' etc etc.

Original poster
matildamatilda · 29/01/2014 21:04

Kids in America aren't allowed to say "I want..." That's just in movies.

OP posts:
ProfondoRosso · 29/01/2014 21:05

Same here, Lydia and tootired.

And pudding is such a lame word. Unless you mean an actual pudding, like rice pudding. DESSERT DESSERT DESSERT bwa ha ha!

2tiredtocare · 29/01/2014 21:06

I didn't say 'what' was ignorant if I assume rightly that the little confused face is for me? I said sneering at people for being common is ignorant

ExcuseTypos · 29/01/2014 21:06

I was brought up in the north and from a WC family. If I'd said "what?" as a child, I'd have been in big trouble.

How can "pardon" be wrong, when millions of people use it/understand it and have done for many years?

Mama1980 · 29/01/2014 21:06

Saying 'pardon' instead of 'what' was drilled into me by my nan, I do it automatically. I have also drilled it into my children, along with never saying 'I want' it has to be 'please may I have,' or 'I would like' I want doesn't get Grin
Not posh at all I was raised in a rough area of North London but my nan was a stickler for what she decided was good manners.

Alisvolatpropiis · 29/01/2014 21:08

The pudding/dessert thing confuses me.

Puddings are a type of dessert surely?

Chocolate gateaux is not a pudding, sticky toffee er pudding is though.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 29/01/2014 21:08

Only dicks don't like pardon. Hth.

SoftSheen · 29/01/2014 21:08

Pardon isn't 'wrong', but 'what' or 'sorry' aren't wrong either- all are likely to be understood.

SoftSheen · 29/01/2014 21:10

Historically 'dessert' meant a selection of dried fruits and nuts.

CassCade · 29/01/2014 21:10

"Pardon?" is short for "I beg your pardon?" but I personally hate the word 'pardon' on it's own, and sounds weirdly 1900's to say the whole dated sentence so I always say "sorry?" as in short for; "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"What?" just sounds really abrupt and rude to me but that's because I'm English...!

StopSquabbling · 29/01/2014 21:10

I think it's a class/regional thing.

My mum would even correct my friends if they said 'dessert' Blush. As a result, I cringe a little when I hear friends say it.

Dawndonnaagain · 29/01/2014 21:10

Only dicks don't like pardon. Hth.

Really? How rude!

CheeseStrawWars · 29/01/2014 21:11

I was having this same argument debate with DH last night. I maintain "What?" is fine, he thinks it's rude and prefers "Pardon?". Pardon is just not right. He thinks there is an implied tone in "What?" of "WHAT did you say?" which makes it confrontational, a tone of daring you to repeat whatever offensive utterance escaped your lips. I, however, grew up in a house where "I BEG your pardon?" was used in just such a way.

"What?" all the way, for me. Or "Wha..?" as the kids prefer. This doesn't drive me mad at all.

ProfondoRosso · 29/01/2014 21:11

As long as you're polite, it doesn't matter what the hell term you use. Speaking in a way that would please Debrett's might sound 'right' in some places, but it might not in others. Language is vibrant, regionally diverse and always changing in the UK. That's a good thing!

diddl · 29/01/2014 21:12

I think that "sorry" sounds odd tbh.
Why would you apologise because you didn't hear what someone said??

CassCade · 29/01/2014 21:13

I must be a dick, Bugger! Wink

Nancy66 · 29/01/2014 21:13

'help yourself to dessert and a serviette after your dinner while I go to the toilet '

SoftSheen · 29/01/2014 21:14

I think that "sorry" sounds odd tbh.
Why would you apologise because you didn't hear what someone said??

Equally, why would you beg someone's pardon because you didn't hear what they said?

IneedAsockamnesty · 29/01/2014 21:14

I don't much care what anybody else says unless you are trying to correct my children when they use what.

Bowlersarm · 29/01/2014 21:15

I assume 'sorry' originates as the short form of 'sorry-I-didn't-hear-what-you-just-said-would-you-mind-repeating-it?"

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 29/01/2014 21:15

I don't have a problem with people not saying pardon but the general reasons people have for not liking it when other people say it tend to make them dicks. In my opinion.