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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unauthorised Absence for one day.

82 replies

mrsjavierbardem · 29/01/2014 14:17

I have to take 2 dc out for one day, I don't want the palaver of being refused so do most people just phone their kids in sick?
I hate doing it but I don't see what choice we have now, I think to be allowed to take your kids out for one day every few years should be allowed, but it seems mad to walk myself into a big fine.
So are other people just phoning in sick if it's one day?

OP posts:

Sirzy · 29/01/2014 15:15

Like I said I will believe people are being prosecuted for it when I see some proper evidence, until then I will go with you perhaps exageratting things a bit.

I have seen plenty of threads on the issue on here but nobody having been prosecuted for one day unauthorised

carrie74 · 29/01/2014 16:43

I'd just be honest and tell the truth. If nothing else, the kids will tell the truth when they're in school (or do we teach our children to lie to teachers?).

KellyHopter · 29/01/2014 16:54

Nobody is being fined for the odd day. Nobody.

KellyHopter · 29/01/2014 16:55

And yes op, tell the truth. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of children being roped into lying.

You absolutely will not be fined for this one day.

Lemongrab · 29/01/2014 16:56

We took our Dcs out of school for 2 days before Christmas, and phoned in both mornings saying they were ill with a bad cold/flu.
I felt very guilty as their schools are lovely and we are not law breakers! However, the new rules are ridiculous and we decided that phoning in sick to avoid all the farce of an unauthorised absence and fines was worth it.
We don't usually take them out, but we felt that two days at the end of Christmas term wasn't about to ruin their education, and we weren't about to pay a fine for it.

lljkk · 29/01/2014 16:58

I think that's what the govt wants, Carrie. We parents are certainly incentivised to encourage the kids to lie. I hate it too.

Starballbunny · 29/01/2014 17:00

The whole thing is absolutely insane.

DD2 had her very first period on Sunday, felt shit on Monday morning.

I phoned the answering machine saying DD2 didn't want to give a reason.

School sends her to the pastoral car women (who I believe she still refused to tell).

She's fuming, she says it's none of schools business and I'm fed up because I thought anyone with half a brain cell could guess what a 13y girl was likely not to want to talk about.

Original poster

mrsjavierbardem · 29/01/2014 17:01

HollyMiamiFLA so are you telling the school or not?
I just feel it is all very woolly and unclear; I can imagine getting into a heap of trouble for simply doing something reasonable and telling the truth. I don't think you can assume they LA will be always reasonable, you only need to get one trumped up little person who wants to make an example of you, I really don't want to expose myself to any consequences from breaking a rule that I don't believe is ethical in itself. I absolutely hate the thought of lying to the school. I wasn't a parent governor of a fairly challenging primary school for many years because I didn't give a blank. I do care enormously. But this is one of those rules that fails in the face of the reasonable exceptions, unfortunately. It is far too big a stick in my opinion. It also damages the relationship between the family and the school, imo, and potentially reduces the trust between them.
I feel very uncomfortable about it. I see why persistent offenders need to be tackled for everyone's sake but there should be room for manoeuvre for the extremely rare request.

OP posts:

kali110 · 29/01/2014 17:01

What about the children?they will probably forget tell their friends unless you tell them not to tell anyone and say they were sick, even then they may forget.

Original poster

mrsjavierbardem · 29/01/2014 17:01

Sorry Holly that sounded brusque, forgive me, I just wonder what your approach will be?

OP posts:

lljkk · 29/01/2014 17:02

ps: I have to do a bit of foreign govt. paperwork soon which the kids have to attend in person 100s of miles away. Not even a fun day out. Will be a giant chore for all. I tried & struggled but failed to book it during school holidays and now time is too short. I will probably lie to take them out to avoid fines. Like OP says, it's easier to lie one day than hang on tenterhooks about whether the HTs will decide if the circumstances are exceptional or not.

WorraLiberty · 29/01/2014 17:02

You won't get a fine if he has a decent attendance record.

However, you might bump into a truant officer.

Original poster

mrsjavierbardem · 29/01/2014 17:11

I think that at the very least I do not feel I am asking the school, I feel as if I am perfectly reasonably informing the school that my child will be away that day.
This rule removes my right to take my child out and I simply object to that. Education has to be consensual. This is just too big a hammer to use for this size of nut.
I don't blame the schools for any of this, nor for the trouble they've always had because of this issue.

But I don't want to be in a position of openly flauting the rules, I would prefer to discreetly remove my child as I do for 48 hrs when she's been sick or had an upset tummy.
It feels Stalinist to me and it doesn't suit this country imo!
rant rant rant rant

OP posts:

Original poster

mrsjavierbardem · 29/01/2014 17:12

Flouting (sp)

OP posts:

FanFuckingTastic · 29/01/2014 17:19

I was told we would be fined if we took my daughter out more than two days for a family funeral, with travelling involved. When I asked if they could make it three days as it would be easier for everyone involved, they threatened to reduce the two days to one, and fine for that. It's just ridiculous. We weren't off on a jaunt, we were in the process of grieving for my step-dad and the children should have a right to be a part of that too.

KellyHopter · 29/01/2014 17:22

Who told you you would be fined, fan?

mummymeister · 29/01/2014 17:30

so there you are sirzy and Kelly. in your area head teachers and EWO might be reasonable but this is just not the case everywhere. FanF there are a lot of people on MN who just don't believe us when we say that there are threats to fine and report just for one day so unless you have written proof that you can share you just wont be believed. of course that is until those who don't believe try to get a day off for a funeral and find out that their area isn't as reasonable as they thought.

Sirzy · 29/01/2014 17:40

that isn't it actually happening though. I was talking about people ACTUALLY being prosecuted which is very different. It also wasn't one day. So really it doesn't prove anything does it!

Lilly3000 · 29/01/2014 17:47

I'm taking my daughter out of school for two days to take her to see a theatre production. It involves travel and an overnight stay. I wrote to the school explaining that it was an educational trip and the Head agreed. You've got to make it possible for them to say yes I think. I'm not going to ask my daughter to lie as that's a massive educational own goal in my book. Having said that my daughter's got a really good attendance record and the head accepted that. If I had to pay the fine I would though. Her life is her own.

HollyMiamiFLA · 29/01/2014 17:48

I got the reply that it would be unauthorised - so I emailed back and said we are going anyway.

It's one day. On a Friday. He does a lot of educational stuff with me. He is not going to be behind.

I am a teacher. I work in schools where children have 50% attendance rates. I don't see their parents in court. Instead I see awards trying to incentivise them to come.

The wrong target is being hit and it's pissing a lot of people off.

HollyMiamiFLA · 29/01/2014 17:48

And I would not encourage my child to lie.

mummymeister · 29/01/2014 17:48

I am a patient woman Sirzy. when the thread appears again with someone having been fined AND prosecuted on one days absence by a jobsworth head and a jobsworth EWO then I will copy you in to it. neither of the 2 parents at our school are on MN otherwise I would get them to post the letter here so you could see it as obviously my word isn't good enough for you. When you leave things like this to discretion and you tie absence in to school/H/T performance you get idiotic decisions being made.

FanFuckingTastic · 29/01/2014 17:50

The school headteacher I believe, it was my ex-partner who told me. I could double check if you are interested.

KellyHopter · 29/01/2014 17:51

A standard letter which warns of the possibility of being fined is not the same as an actual fine.

It's quite simple:
Take your child out of school for a reason which will not be authorised
The school notify EWO (standard procedure)
EWO sends a generic warning letter stating that it's unacceptable to take term time leave, further instances could lead to a fine (Unless its a big chunk of time off at once, or a common occurrence in which case they go straight to a fine).

People get in a tizzy about this and talk about the first couple of steps as though it = fine. It doesn't.

People may well receive a warning letter for one day. Nobody is fined for one day.

EmmelineGoulden · 29/01/2014 17:51

OP I have never yet kept my children of school except for medical reasons, so this is hypothetical -
One of the things that would guide me in the situation you describe is whether or not the children might need to lie. I wouldn't be so bothered about me lying to the school, but I wouldn't put any pressure or expectation on my children to lie. And I wouldn't phone them in sick in front of them. You seem to be indicating it will be the last day of term, so in those circumstances I would probably phone them in sick. But if it were, say, a Wednesday and they'd be back at school on the Thrusday I would expect the teacher to ask them if they're feeling better once they return, and I wouldn't phone them in sick in those circumstances.

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