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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross that ds got the reading trophy...but there is no trophy?

47 replies

Onelittlebugbear · 27/01/2014 20:48

Ds (4) has been desperate to get the reader of the week award at school, each class chooses one child and the child gets a trophy. They only keep it for a few days and are meant to bring it back into school on the Wednesday (assembly on the Friday).
So ds gets the award last week and appears out of school looking glum. He said "mommy I got reader of the week but I didn't do well enough to get the trophy."

Mentioned to ds's teacher today about it as thought maybe ds was confused but he was indeed reader of the week but because the previous recipient hasn't returned it he didn't get the trophy. No trophy today either. I asked what would happen if it didn't come back until this week and ds's teacher looked a bit flustered and said " well we will keep it in school for this week's winner."

So ds won't get a turn. I know it doesn't massively matter but it matters a bit when you're 4 and have been reading every night to try and get "the special trophy". I'm probably being precious first born but I think the trophy thing is a bit impractical, there are bound to be times when the trophy doesn't come back etc why don't they just have a certificate instead? The trophy is a nice idea but not very practical. I've made it clear to ds that he did get reader of the week but that the previous child hasn't returned the trophy, it's not because he wasn't good enough.

Aibu to think they should get rid of the trophy idea and either not to it at all or give out a certificate?

OP posts:
OpalQuartz · 27/01/2014 20:51

I think they need to buy a spare trophy to allow for people who forget to return it. I can see why that is very disappointing when you are 4.

Original poster
Onelittlebugbear · 27/01/2014 20:54

Yes a couple of spare trophies would be a good idea! They're bound to get lost / forgotten / broken etc over the year.
It just seems a shame for the child that misses out on the weeks it isn't returned. Probably not so disappointing for older children but it would be the first things at school ds has won and I know he would have been very proud of himself. It's not the same without the trophy especially when he's seen classmates get it.

OP posts:
OpalQuartz · 27/01/2014 20:58

Mine are 6 and 9 and they'd be pretty disappointed. I bet Usain Bolt would have been a bit miffed if they'd not given him a medal because the previous winner still had it. Angry

OpalQuartz · 27/01/2014 20:59

At 4 the trophy itself is the exciting bit. Poor lad

PixelAteMyFace · 27/01/2014 21:00

Your poor DS Sad

I agree that there should be a spare trophy.

I hope this disappointment doesn't discourage his reading efforts. The teacher should make it up to him by giving him a little certificate with a star on, it's unfair that he's had nothing to bring home to show you.

starlight1234 · 27/01/2014 21:06

My DS is child of the week here..Simular thing( they all get it just different reasons) ..yes the trophy is important...

I do feel for your DS....Seems quite unfair... I think this is rare to be brought in on the day

Backtobedlam · 27/01/2014 21:12

They do certificates at our school, ds would have been over the moon to get a trophy at 4. I can see why your sons disappointed, and he probably doesn't really understand why he doesn't have it. Hope the teachers give it to him again 'properly' very soon.

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 27/01/2014 21:17

YANBU

Poor little chap, it's a big deal at that age

I would suggest to the teacher that they postpone having a new winner and explain that it's so ds gets to have his turn, then it will go back to weekly. And that yes in the future they should have a spare or a replacement for when this happens

matildamatilda · 27/01/2014 21:46

That is actually really lame.

That's just the age at which they're learning about fairness and keeping promises. They broke a promise to him! He worked his little tail off and they didn't uphold their end of the deal!

If I were you I would buy him a little trophy to keep. Tell him that the school was wrong not to give him one.

Mrsmorton · 27/01/2014 22:23

YADNBU
How rude of previous recipient, it makes me so Angry when people are selfish like that. Your DS has done really well, I want to send him a trophy myself because I'm so frustrated for him.

Spartak · 27/01/2014 22:40

I know its not the same, but could you perhaps buy a cheap trophy and maybe get his name engraved on a little plaque? It would only be about a fiver, and he'd be able to keep it then.

mydadsdaughter · 27/01/2014 22:47

of course he's disappointed, he's tried really hard, earned his trophy and was robbed off his moment to have it, same thing happens at our school with the well done medals, my ds won it this week and he had no medal, apparently no one brings it back, my ds is ten so he doesn't mind so much but when your four these things are hugely important. so yanbu

BeaLola · 27/01/2014 22:51

I feel gutted for him and Im a little bit older than 4!

I think he should get to bring it home this week and they miss a week plus remind parent of the child who didnt bring it back that they should have unless they have a genuinely good reason.

CaffeinatedKitten · 27/01/2014 23:15

Tesco sell little plastic medals in the party bag section. They're about a pound for four. I've used them as an incentive before, perhaps you could snag some as an emergency reading medal?

Gladvent · 27/01/2014 23:19

Yanbu. Congratulations to your DS from a random mumsnetter!

I still haven't forgotten when v ambivalent DD got the trophy at a holiday club that DS had worked his socks off to try and win. Oh the tears. Trophies are so important to kids.

Gladvent · 27/01/2014 23:21

Just had an idea, does he have a favourite author? You could write to them via their publisher (assuming not roald Dahl- try someone who is alive!) and get a signed photo. I bet DS would love that and something awesome to show at school.

SparkleSoiree · 27/01/2014 23:25

YANBU. We encourage our children to do well and they will be rewarded and when the reward isn't forthcoming it's a huge blow to them.

The school coud be done with a couple of spares.

Well done to your wee lad though!

perfectstorm · 27/01/2014 23:32

When I read the title I eyerolled, imagining a cross 8 year old at the end of term being called up to the stage and getting a book token or something. Reading your actual post, all I could feel was so sorry for your poor child - of course he wants the trophy, he's 4 and it will be a big deal. My son's class all have a big thing about some class monitor role in which they wear a badge for a day and do little tasks for the teacher. YADNBU - should be either a certificate, or as another poster suggested one of those cheap medals - bought in bulk from Ebay or Baker & Ross they'd cost buttons. The children would have a momento then, too.

MrsAMerrick · 28/01/2014 00:12

Your poor ds, how disappointing. And very rubbish of the school. When my dc were at primary there was an assembly every Friday where cups were presented. The head was super organised and had several spare cups for when rubbish parents like me people forgot to return them.

Speak to the teacher and make sure your ds gets to take the cup home.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/01/2014 00:21

Oh dear. Poor DS Sad.

Yes, a spare trophy (or two) is definitely the way forward. I hope your DS will get another turn too.

OpalQuartz · 28/01/2014 00:26

Will you speak to the teacher again? I really want your little boy to get the trophy!

questionedanswered · 28/01/2014 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OpalQuartz · 28/01/2014 00:47

It wouldn't blow the school's budget to buy a pack of six trophies for £3.39 from Amazon.

www.amazon.co.uk/Gold-Trophies-Pack-of-6/dp/B009HOV0PE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390869905&sr=8-1&keywords=plastic+trophies

Topaz25 · 28/01/2014 01:02

YANBU. I agree certificates would be more practical and they should have thought of an alternative when the trophy wasn't returned, not just told your son he doesn't get one after promising he would.

AspieLass · 28/01/2014 06:58

Why cant you buy him one if you feel that strongly? There is always going to be a child wit ha disorganised parent, or ill the following week, who broke it, lost it and so forth. I know, I know you're going to say it's not your responsibility and the school is a right shower for not having psychic abilities to predict a child would not return it in time.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BARGAIN-BUDGET-TROPHY-STAR-AWARD-FREE-ENGRAVING-SCHOOL-AWARD-/161124913060?pt=UK_SportingGoods_Trophies_ET&var=&hash=item2583cb0fa4

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