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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disgusted with (d) h for posting this and hurt that sever people including a mutual friend liked it.

34 replies

fab84 · 27/01/2014 00:20

Background. Things are not great between me and (d)h at moment. We have been under some stress and he has said some quite nasty things both verbally and more upsettingly on facebook.
Just discovered this gem. It relates to a time last year when I was on holiday with my mum and dc. A couple of my siblings had rung the house to enquire about my mum. We were in another country.
He basically sais if they ring again I should just send kids back and than made a comment about them only have 1 brain cell between the 4 of them. Bearing in mind one of my siblings died that year a certain amount of concern was understandable
Aibu to think that this is way outside the realms of normal behaviour and that liking the post is unacceptable too.

OP posts:
LoveWine · 27/01/2014 00:41

To be honest your post is confusing and I'm not sure I understand what happened. Could you rephrase maybe?

TalkieToaster · 27/01/2014 00:46

I have no idea what you're on about. Confused What did the Facebook post say?

SumBex · 27/01/2014 00:51

I got it op and I think YANBU. That's a really hurtful thing for him to say, even worse that it was on Facebook! These are his in laws and he shouldn't be slating them publicly like that.

Bogeyface · 27/01/2014 00:54

Not surprised things are not great if he is such a dick.

What is his reaction to your upset?

Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 00:58

Sorry didn't want to post word for word and obviously posting when tired and emotion.
Basically said he was fed up with missus family ringing to enquire about mil. If there is a problem missus will ring them. If they ring again she (meaning me ) can just send kids home. Than made some remark about the 4 of them having to share a brain cell between them.
Beaaring in mind my mum has now passed away I am just so hurt.

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Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 00:59

He went to bed early tonight. So blissfully unaware.

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ColdTeaAgain · 27/01/2014 01:09

He doesn't sound like he respects you very much, or evens cares about your feelings for that matter OP :( I think you really need to tell him how much he has upset you and go from there.

Sorry that you have lost your DM, was he very supportive when that happened?

Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 01:22

He was supportive on a practical level. But I don't think he did emotionally. Twice in the very early stage he asked me what I was watching that had made my cry. Err losing my mum did that!

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Monty27 · 27/01/2014 01:27

Missus? Confused

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight · 27/01/2014 01:32

Shave one of his eyebrows off an pop a status on fb telling everyone he's decided a mono brow would be a great look

Just kidding

He sounds a right cock
Maybe a letter laying it all out clearly for him to see as he sounds like an unemotional twat so Talkin to him probably won't have the desired effect.

He is BVU to post that crap on fb, very rude.

TalkieToaster · 27/01/2014 01:33

Ah, I see. He actually posted all that on Facebook? He's a cock. YANBU, definitely.

Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 01:37

At this rate not for much longer monty.

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Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 01:37

Didn't see post originally. Found it by accident tonight.

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Birdsgottafly · 27/01/2014 02:06

I don't think you can blame the mutual friends for "liking it".

If I saw a post by a friend or one of my adult relatives about their partner, I would assume it was done in humour, so would like it (my adult DD posts stuff about her DP, in jest).

Why anyone who is over 20, in a stable relationship would tell the world their relationship troubles, baffles me and personally, It would be a deal breaker, especially if I had children (whether theirs or not). I couldn't live with such disrespect.

Don't focus on this, it sounds as though you have bigger issues, that this is one example of.

MrsBonkers · 27/01/2014 02:56

It would piss me off that he'd put it on Facebook, rather than talking to me about it.
That said, I also wouldn't want phonecalls from DH's family while I was on holiday.
Didn't your siblings trust you to call them? If daily updates were needed, maybe it might have been better for you to call ONE of them each day.

Onesie · 27/01/2014 04:51

Sarcasm is your friend here. Add the comment 'supportive as ever' underneath

Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 07:19

Dh wasn't on holiday. He was home. He did mention it in person too.

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Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 07:23

I suspect it was one call from 2 peope. Hardly a big deal. Not going to comment as it would mean my siblings would see it. O and judging but the number he either included me or my dead sibling in it. Not sure which of those options is worse.

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BohemianGirl · 27/01/2014 07:27

one brain cell is throwaway remark surely?

MajesticWhine · 27/01/2014 07:29

Why did he say you could send the kids home if they rang again? Don't get it. In any case he sounds like an arse and you should tell him so.

soundedbetterinmyhead · 27/01/2014 07:30

You appear to be in a relationship with a 14 year old. If you're 14 too and child-free, no problem, but if you're an adult in charge of children you've picked the wrong man.

Grown-ups have constructive mutually-respectful conversations privately whereas kids stick things on facebook and see how many of their 'friends' 'like' what they are saying.

Birdsgottafly is right.

Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 07:32

Maybe it was meant to be funny. I just find it hard to be amused. He also called the people who work for him plebes on a response to post. He was clearly pissed 8ff and ranting.

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Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 07:36

Sounds like he meant fot me not to bother coming home. Not the 1st time he said this. He said it once in a txt when I visited my sister who he has never liked. Basically said if I wasn't home by x time not to bother.

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coolcookie · 27/01/2014 10:31

I would be upset too. Don't like it when people post stuff lime this on facebook.
I feel for you op.
I think maybe your dh resents your relationship with your family. Does he get on well with his parents?

Original poster
fab84 · 27/01/2014 12:18

Yes, he does get on great with his mum and dad. He only has 1 brother and they get on well too.

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