AIBU to reduce my hours?

[allsunshineandroses]

I have 2 DC, 4 and 7 months. After having DC1 I went back to work FT, putting my PFB in nursery. Due to our financial situation at the time I couldn't afford to not work or reduce my hours. Now the time has almost come for me to return to work after DC2, and thanks to a slight improvement in our situation we could afford for me to drop my hours and work 3 days 8.30 - 3.00. The thing is, this would mean that we would have to budget for every penny. There will be no extra money for holidays, half term treats or days out. I long to be around more for DC2, probably because I felt I missed so much with DC1. What I want to know is AIBU to make the family go without certain things so I can be at home more? Is my heart ruling my head?

Is there a compromise - doing 4 days, or 3 longer days?

Do you have the kind of job where you'd end up doing full time work in part time hours. What I mean is are you actually going to be frazzled trying to do everything?

If you are facing the transition to reception in september I would deffo go part time for now. Decide to do it for a year and see how you feel then. Have you put part time salary into the take home pay website? I was pleasantly suprised at how little tax I paid on part time

I did it and would say it is definitely worth the financial sacrifice. Budgeting like that is hard but you find that you can manage on much less than you thought. It was an easy decision for me and we have never regretted it.

I think it's worth the financial sacrifice. But then I am a full time sahm, so I would say that

Your children's early years are precious. Staying at home is not for everyone, but if you really do want to do it then follow your heart.

You can save money by being at home anyway. It is cheaper to paint pictures and make play dough with your own kids than it is to pay someone else to do it. And you have time to shop around, batch cook, but second hand charity bargains that you wouldn't be able to if you were working more.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Have you factored in the saving from part time nursery v full time nursery.

The jump between one lot of childcare to two lots of childcare is crippling in fanancial terms. If you have the chance to do things differently now then I'd take it. You can always readjust once dc1 is settled at school. But this really is a good time to readjust.

I agree with greenbananas. Def go for part time, it is very worth it. I went from f/t to SAHM and haven't looked back, loved every minute, life is much easier so less stress all round. Spending maximum time possible with parents is only a good thing.

We decided when we had my 1st that I wanted to bring him up myself. We made sacrifices, our car was 14 years old, we didn't have a foreign holiday till our youngest was 6, (13 years), second hand clothes, didn't go out much, no takaways, etcetc. I consider myself very lucky that although I stayed at home, I worked hard too. I cleaned at night, became a childminder. Things were VERY tight. Money isn't everything, I saw every milestone and have no regrets. As I said on another thread, my bestest friend was in the same situation as you and we sat down and worked out how much she spent on luxuries ie coffee at station, ready meals, and with cutting down she could afford to go part time. Don't think she regretted it. Funny thing, my 20 year old DD just walked in and I read her your thread and asked her if she'd wished I'd worked F/T so she could have had more days out, new clothes, holidays. She said that while she used to be jealous of a girl that went skiing every year, no, she now really appreciates holidays (things got better when DCs older) and we have had 3 now! AND she says she wants to do the same when she has babies! We went to park lots, picnics, walk in woods etc. I was lucky as parents did the Thorpe Park things. I really think my kids appreciated money was tight and explained that if they wanted these things, mum would have to work F/T and they would have to go to CM. Ds just got up(16) and asked him same. He said it was annoying having me around!!! And although he wished he did go on the £400 skiing holiday with school, he understood we couldn't afford it. He doesn't feel he missed out. There you go, 2 older children who have answered your question.

I had to change my hours at work due to a change in family circumstances, I did it a year ago and it was the best thing I could have done for my dd, I was now able to take her to school and pick her up every day, be around to help with homework, she could have friends over and knew who was taking and collecting from school but it did come with sacrifices, I had to leave a promotion I had only been given a few months before and go right back to the bottom, had to take a massive pay cut but like I say was the right thing for my family and we still manage, bills are paid, we budget for days out and although we are havent been on holiday yet apart from visiting family we are saving up to hopefully go this year or next.

Guess what I am saying you have to do what is right and manageable for you.

Hope that helps.

Is your DH/DP on board? I think I would consider whether my work would allow me to increase my hours later on, if things don't work out financially how you hope (bearing in mind that wages are rising more slowly than prices at the moment). Other than that, I'd do whatever made me and my family the most happy.

My BIL and SIL have chosen to live on very little for similar reasons (their house is provided by his work, however, and there are generous grandparents) and I don't see their children going without anything. They seem very keen on Tesco vouchers.

Stuff the skiing holidays, btw. It's the most overrated sport in my opinion!

I moved from ft to 25 hours per week, and you will have to prise those hours from my cold dead hands!!

YANBU at all to want to work p/t, to spend time with your young family.

Don't do 4 days though, otherwise in practice it'll be a full time role with a 20% pay cut!

I have made a similar decision. I'm on dd1 and for the past 12 months been working full time. Dd has been ill and been having hospital appointments every month at the minimum. Inbetween she's been full time at nursery. Next month I'm dropping from 37.5 to 22.5 hours a week.

Every penny has to be accounted for. There won't be a holiday this year or big splurges etc. but I'll have time. I feel like I've missed so much the past 12 months. I'm not having any more children so this is time I can't buy back. I'd rather not go on holiday m spend some quality unforced time with dd. When she starts school I'll readdress the situation.

Do it.
You only have one go at being with your children when they are little. They won't care about luxuries or holidays but they will love having you around.
In a few years time when they are grown up you won't regret it.

Ime working part-time gives you the best of both worlds. Children don't need or often want expensive holidays and days out. We haven't been abroad since having DS1 nearly 6 years ago and go camping which the boys love. There are ways and means of cutting costs without your children even noticing.

Is there any way you could go 3 days initially with the understanding you could move up to 4 if you find it too tight? I have done both and did find 3 days very tricky in my role (project manager).

Don't do 4 days though, otherwise in practice it'll be a full time role with a 20% pay cut!

Not imd Blondie, I think it depends on your role. For me there was just too much which could go wrong in 2 days. I work 3 days hours over 4 days which allows me more flexibility but I'm visible to the client. Once DS2 starts school I'm going to do 1 full days and 4 mornings to fit in better with pick up times.

I work 3 days a week, do a course on a Friday and Monday I will deep clean the house from top to bottom. It leaves the weekend for family time.

I prefer that to a holiday once a year.

Half term ( if not working) I will take the DC on as many cheap or free days out as possible.

Do what will work for you as a family, but be aware there are other factors as well as the financial ones. In my experience, going PT has put the brakes on any career progression - my employer regards me as no longer career focused or eligible for promoted posts, and it will be hard to restart my career or demonstrate ambition after the ten year gap I have had. That said, I have no regrets about changing to PT (3 days a week) - for us, it was a good compromise and I especially cherished the one to one time I had with DC2 on my days off when DC1 started school, as she'd never had me to herself before.

Your children would rather have your time than money for holidays and treats. Go part time.

I had to reduce my working hours 18months ago as my son developed a medical condition which meant we couldn't find childcare. Dh and I both do some homeworking and cover school hols between us with annual leave. Walking my son to school hand in hand makes me feel like the wealthiest woman in the world. I always knew i wanted more time with my kids but it took an enforced change to make it happen and I love it. I would go for it!

How does your DH feel about (I assume) being the main earner?

I don't agree Blondieminx, I think it very much depends on the job. I'm a teacher and have reduced my hours to 4 days. I've always worked a lot of hours at home and have found that working 4 days has cut the amount of marking and planning I do at home, whilst giving me an extra day with my DS. 3 days in my role wouldn't have worked as I would have been too out of touch, at least one of the three days would have been purely catching up with what I'd missed. 4 days keeps me in the loop and although I've have a drop in pay it's manageable.

Don't hesitate, drop your hours and enjoy your DC. Be careful with contractual changes though if you want to be able to increase them again in the future, if I change my contract to 4 days then I can't change back. Its surprising how much you can cut back on without realising, start with branded food and phone contracts.

Would working an extra day help with the financial situation?