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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have let 9yr old dd walk home from school alone?

27 replies

Lollyheart · 24/01/2014 10:58

Aibu to of let her walk the 4 mins it takes to walk home from school alone one day a week , ds1 and 2 are at an after school club on that day, she asked if she could come home on her own.
Only one little road to cross, lots of other kids and parents walk the same way.

I didn't think I was but dds teacher rang me to check I gave my dd permission to walk home on her own and made me feel like I was wrong for doing it.
I did actually tell the office she could but didn't let her teacher know.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 24/01/2014 11:02

What year is your DD?
At my DC Junor they were allowed to walk home alone from Yr 5 (before then they needed collected from the door)

My DD walked home from Easter Yr 6 (so she was 10yo) but we have a 20 minute walk, a couple of busy roads and a dog phobia (but she needed to overcome it so asked herself if she could walk)

In Yr 5 or 6 I'd sometime ask her older Bro to meet her (different school) if I couldn't.

So no, you are not unreasonable, they need their independance

WorraLiberty · 24/01/2014 11:05

You know your own child and your area. I'm sure you made the right decision.

The teacher was just looking out for her if she wasn't told.

Original poster
Lollyheart · 24/01/2014 11:06

She's in year 4.

OP posts:
SkinnybitchWannabe · 24/01/2014 11:10

I think its great that the school rang to double check.
If you can trust your dc to come straight home and you know theres other dc and parents around then that sounds fine.
My 11 and 8 year old ds walk to and from school together.
Im also in abit of a dilemma because in sept 11 year old will be going to senior school and I'm not sure about letting then 9yo walk alone.

Pendeen · 24/01/2014 11:43

Sounds fairly reasonable OP.

I walked home from school bus stop from age 9 (198os) although not every day and not in winter - country lane and then farm track.

itsnotthateasy · 24/01/2014 11:57

Should think it will be fine . .

My youngest has walked to and from school since he was 8 (first with his 10 year old brother) and from 9 on his own . .Two small roads to cross and less than 5 minutes away

GreenPetal94 · 24/01/2014 12:09

My youngest walked home from age 9. It's < 5 mins walk and his younger brother hated coming out earlier and then going back to collect ds1 (tantrums, tantrums). It worked for us and it was such a well trod route he was not isolated.

pointythings · 24/01/2014 12:09

The primary DD2 goes to allows it if the parent is happy with it - no age restriction as some children literally live across the road from the school. In practice it's a handful of Yr4, quite a lot of Yr5 and a majority of Yr6. My DD2 has been taking herself to school and back since the start of Yr5, it's about a 10 minute walk at normal not chatting children dawdling pace.

Oddly enough her walk to secondary will be much less, it is less than 5 mins around the corner from where we live.

redskyatnight · 24/01/2014 12:11

My 9 year old walks/cycles just over a mile home from school.
The school is fine with this ... but they do ask parents to formally tell the office if they are ok with their children going home on their own. Wonder if this is something similar in your case?

Onesie · 24/01/2014 12:13

They have to ring to check due to a duty of care

Bubble80 · 24/01/2014 12:15

I'm in Scotland and I know little ones in p1 (so age 4&5) wak home alone I wish we had a rule where you had to collect them up to p3 at least. But we don't. And you see them darting across roads with no concern.

We live 2 mins from the school and I have just started letting my 7yr old ds cross at the lollipop person and meet me. And I stand where I can see him all the way. So he is alone, but not really. I think your plan is reasonable OP.

IndianMummy · 24/01/2014 12:21

I'm sure it's fine - maybe the teacher was just checking - don't feel bad!

ihategeorgeosborne · 24/01/2014 12:25

My just 10 year old dd has started walking home on her own two days a week. It's the same reasons as you, in that dd2 has an after school club one day and dd1 has one on another day. It is only 5 mins walk and plenty of parents and children are around. I was a bit worried to start with, but she really enjoys the independence and seems really happy when she comes home. I walked to school on my own at 9 and it was 2 miles. I think everyone did then.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 24/01/2014 12:30

It sounds fine to me too.

NotGoodNotBad · 24/01/2014 12:31

Good grief no! (that is, no you aren't unreasonable, not no you shouldn't let here walk home alone).

NotGoodNotBad · 24/01/2014 12:31

her not here Hmm

BackforGood · 24/01/2014 12:46

Of course YANBU - by dd used to do this occasionally when she was in Yr4 - loved being trusted.

yorkie11 · 24/01/2014 12:55

Our school allow it from year 4 onwards.

vikinglights · 24/01/2014 13:00

my eight year old walks home alone (2 km) however the deal is that she must ring her grandfather before she leaves school so he knows when to expect her home. In adverse weather conditions (high winds or icy roads) he collects her.

rabbitlady · 24/01/2014 13:15

i walked the half a mile to and from school morning, lunchtime, afternoon, alone, from being four and a half years old.
i won't say it never did me any harm. i'm 56 and i still think my mother was a total bitch for making me do it.

diddl · 24/01/2014 13:19

How easy is the road to cross?

That would be my only concern tbh.

redexpat · 24/01/2014 14:37

I did halfway by myself (4 minutes, from the crossing) from Y3-4, and then Y5&6 I went alone. Very similar set up to what you describe.

I did always have to battle with Brown Owl though. She refused to believe that I walked to school and thus could walk home from Brownies, which was right next door to school.

jendot · 24/01/2014 15:08

My 9yr old walks to school, sometimes home, to the local shops alone. We live in a busy urban area and he crosses minor roads.
My 12yr old goes to and from school alone, uses the bus, picks up or looks after his brother for me sometimes, cooks dinner when he feels like it.
Kids are far more capable than we as a society often let them be!!

As an aside school have insisted I write disclaimers when older ds started walking alone at the end of yr 4 and younger ds at the beginning of yr 5

DottyDot · 24/01/2014 15:11

ds2 has walked home since he was in the last term of year 4 (now is in year 5) so he was just 9 then. It's a 5 minute walk, across one busy road which has a lollipop man.

I think he's in the minority of year 4/5 children allowed to walk home but we couldn't see any reason that he shouldn't.

halcyondays · 24/01/2014 16:51

Our school say children can walk home alone from P.4, but they need permission from their parents. The teacher probably just wanted to make sure that you were happy for her to leave school by herself. She would be blamed if something happened to a child on the way home if they hadn't had parental permission.