to ask the health visitor why she's here

[womblesofwestminster]

Recently I got a letter from the health visiting team. It was informing me that an appointment had been made for a home visit for my DS because he has just turned 2.

DS is not a PFB. There's been no concerns with his development or health. No missed vaccinations or GP appointments. Nothing. So why the need for the visit?

I phoned and cancelled the appointment saying I had no concerns with my DS. They phoned back a few days later to say another appointment had been arranged. WTF? I thought this service was optional not mandatory?!

Why on earth wouldn't you want a HV to do developmental checks on your child?

Your DS could have a developmental issue you're not aware of. We recently found out that DS is practically blind in one eye. He's 5. We had no idea, not a scooby, that anything was up.

The HVs don't only visit those they think are at risk of harm. They are also looking out for DCs who need medical help. Why wouldn't you want this, just in case? You'll feel pretty silly if you discover something is up later, and you could have known if only you'd let them check your child (for free too!)

Warped thinking IMO. And all about you, OP, not the best interests of your child.

(But yes, I agree, there are some pretty badly informed HVs out there, which is a shame.)

Actually I am a little bit concerned about my dd's hearing in light of ds's problems and because she her speech is a lot like him before his operation. However, she is 14 months and has speech so I will monitor and if necessary take her to the GP for an ENT and audiology referral.

I really don't think they will be able to pick up on subtle issues like this in a group environment but I will concede that the fact our local HV service has been stripped back to less than the bare minimum is influencing my decision. I have concerns that the current processes for seeing parents by my local HV services actually does more harm then good because people get a false reassurance. A bad HV is potentially worse than no HV.

It used to be the case that there were weekly HV clinics that parents could drop into at GP surgeries and a clinic twice a week in the town centre and at a local retail park. That has all gone.

thepobble did you DS see a health visitor for development checks prior to his eye problem being picked up?

Please stop dragging Peter Connelly into this. He was seen by a paediatrician two days before he finally died- never mind a HV.

He was failed by people not doing their jobs properly- not because his mother blocked access. Mandatory HV visits would not have saved him in any way.

It's in poor taste to mention his death in relation to this particular issue.

You're not wrong SaucyJack :(

Compulsion = you have to do it. Things that are compulsory for parents in this country in relation to children are registering their birth, ensuring they get an education (though not necessarily in school) but primarily securing their physical, emotional and social well-being until they reach adulthood and can do it for themselves.

That is it.

Optional = you don't have to do it.

We are incredibly privileged in this country to be offered many services that help to ensure our children are healthy and educated. But many of these are offered on an optional basis such as vaccinations, developmental checks, state education, access to NHS healthcare (but you can choose private care if you prefer).

The implications of refusing these things are not that anyone will compel you to do them. Hence Not Compulsory. Loads of people don't do them, the vast majority of them are people fulfilling their primary responsibility as parents - to secure their children's welfare.

However, in the small class of people who are neglecting their children there may be more children who do not get routine vaccinations or developmental checks or get supported to attend school. Seeing a pattern of non-attendance at baby clinics, vaccinations, developmental checks and school would be rather worrying? In some cases it might be because the parents are ensuring their child's well-being through other health and education services or are very confident of their own judgment. In some cases it might be because the parents are making terrible judgments and the child is at risk. So in those cases I'd be grateful if HV's both tried to get in touch with the family and if that failed notified SS that they had concerns.

There are also children being actively abused by parents who Do take their children to developmental checks, vaccinations, make them attend school, even develop bizarre and elaborate accounts of illnesses they don't have to mask the injuries they have sustained through abuse (this is very very very rare and unfairly stigmatises many parents of children with genuine but obscure illnesses).

But this kind of paranoia about developmental checks is unhelpful. If you don't find it helpful ask for it to be cancelled again and don't worry about it. Nothing about the way you are caring for your child suggests you have any reason to be anxious.

Social services have far better things to do than investigate every single child in this country who does not have an age 2-2.5 check-up.

Imo it was my son's appointment- not mine. I know I'm a good mum but the hv doesn't and her job is to check he is in good health - I have nothing to hide so why deny my ds a normal developmental check up.

The 2 year developmental checks are just that - developmental checks. By their very definition, for most children the check is a complete non-issue but for a few children it can be a chance to point the family in the direction of support if there are developmental issues.

The checks aren't about abuse or neglect.

They aren't to spy on you in your home - many areas will ask you to go to the HVs office for the check (and someone up thread has already mentioned having group developmental checks at a clinic).

I find your attitude awful op. Absolutely horrible and awful. In very sorry you don't want to waste 20mins of your precious time, but perhaps this way another baby p, for example, may be saved. Try to think about others sone time.

and

Yabu. This is for your child's benefit and I can't see why you wouldn't agree to it despite the 'inconvenience'. It will take about 20 minutes FFS. If I were a HV your point blank refusal would indeed raise a reg flag with me.

Twenty minutes my arse, if you commute it's a day off work.

For me, a HV appointment would mean a loss of hundreds of pounds of self-employed earnings.

I think we are perfectly justified in being pissed off when the NHS wastes our time.

If it's just the child they need to see, they could visit them at nurseries/childminders.

My son didn't see a health visitor at all, there was no letters, no phonecalls nothing. So I can see how kids slip through. He had no checks, nothing.
I moved boroughs when he was three, had a letter from new boroughs health visitor. By this point I was truly annoyed so binned it, even that didn't cause a trigger!

lol Windmill. A HV told me when DS was a few weeks old that it was "important to read books to your child and you can't just wait until they go to school" and "he should join the library".

I have an English degree and I had just told her that we had signed ds up for the library

As it was due to being almost deaf and all the associated problems that go with that with concentration and attention he wouldn't sit and look at a book until he was well over 2.5 and after 6 weeks of intensive SLT that worked on communication and developing attention in a non-verbal and possibly deaf child.

He is now a book addict at nearly 5.

But I have met two sensible HVs although one of them did say something that at best was daft and worse stupid although would ultimately not cause any harm.

Too right, Miaow.

Mine are too old for HV now, but our good one left right before DS was two and they never got another in.

Meh. Didn't make a difference.

I went to the GP with him for paed referral. Follow up next month, she thinks ADHA/HFA.

OP I don't think you are being entirely unreasonable.

But here's what I think you should do instead. Ring the surgery (again, I know) and say "There must have been a misunderstanding, I cancelled the appointment and I didn't want it rebooked, so please cancel this one as I do not require a visit."

It is either an admin mistake or an attempt to force you into something you have declined. But either way, you don't have to have it.

It isn't compulsory everywhere. You get a 2 year questionnaire here. You fill that out and send it back to say how your child is hitting milestones, and then you can request a visit if you want. I kept forgetting to fill it in so they rang me. I said they were doing very well, that we didn't have any need of them at the moment but thanks for their concern and I'd be in touch if anything changed. It was no bother.

Really, the problem is the inconsistency.

I had two HVs, one good, and one adequate.

I do know of 2 people for whom their HVs were awful. Their advice, if acted upon, could have caused harm.

I got told at DS's 8 month review, by the adequate one, that as I am partly deaf, that I must make sure that DS's hearing gets checked out. He had already had a hearing test at 15 DAYS old, which was fine. And she had been told this.

I got told by the same HV that it would be wise to have the DCs eyesight checked as I am very short sighted. Again, she had been told that both DCs had already been having tests for 2 years, as I'm well aware of the necessity.

The good one, well I'm sorry she moved on, was a very helpful, knowledgeable person who helped a lot of people I know.

baby 1: great hv

baby 2: no hv, not even after baby was in hospital twice within first 9 weeks. no hv follow up

baby 3: no hv.

no 2 year checks. nothing.

I didn't want or need a health visitors check for either of my two, I never took them to be weighed and refused to use the book provided for any records as these were shared on some sort of central register. Neither of my sons had any "developmental checks" it was pretty clear they were fine. No repercussions whatsoever, I don't like interfering busybodies poking their noses in to my family.

OP seems to have disappeared.
It seems to me a lot of people have a huge hv shaped chip on their shoulder. I can understand this if you've been given bad advice but I'm pretty sure they are not employed to spy on us all?
We must be lucky in this area I have had nothing but good advice from my hv team. Super bf support. Workshops run on weaning both traditional and blw with talks from mums who had done both. Even had a health visitor come out the day after I rang sobbing as ds was going through a really ad sleeping stage at 8months. She gave me several solutions to work through and we discussed together which plan I would like to try. She came for a follow up visit too.
Ds has his 2 year check next week. He has been reviewed by his childminder but I shall still go. It's only half an hour out of my day. I know it's harder for those that work ft but surely you could work something out so you don't lose money.

Ha yes Miaow. Especially round here in SW London.

With ds I would have been the one slinking away feeling like shit about my "backwards" baby (someone a horrible fucker at baby gym actually called him that due to his development delays ) but with dd she'd be the one streets ahead (I am biased) and I would be mortified if anyone felt shit by comparison. I've been there and it's not nice.

So we don't do the group development check. Total waste of time and potentially upsetting to boot.

I'm very sorry you don't want to waste 20mins of your precious time, but perhaps this way another baby p, for example, may be saved. Try to think about others sone time.

There must be a better, cost effective-way of sieving out the baby ps.

Yrs I'm sure there is, but unfortunately it would be considered heavy-handed, politically incorrect, an attempt at social cleansing, and persecution of the 'vulnerable.'

So in the meantime, please just suck it up, for the sake of the children who would otherwise fall through the cracks. If it's not too much of an inconvenience.

I believe that the Health Visiting service is commissioned to provide developmental/health reviews, just as GPs are commissioned to provide an immunisation service. Funding for the service may be dependent on the reviews being completed.

I like my HV. She is helpful and non-judgemental. I like that there is a system in place to look out for children and provide support to parents. I have never felt judged or presumed 'guilty' of anything. At the 2yr check it was clear to me that they weren't looking for signs of abuse, they were monitoring my son's development, providing the Bookstart bag which was lovely and giving me the opportunity to ask questions which was very useful. I find it really odd that anyone would bristle about this being intrusive or suspicious in any way!

Also, when he was a baby the HV team provided free baby massage classes which was great as well. I am actually looking forward to them getting involved again now I'm expecting ds2!