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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what the school will make of this.

41 replies

LadyPenny · 21/01/2014 19:16

Our school has a Facebook page which staff and parents use to communicate.
I've just seen a post from a mum which says
"I'm just letting you know that Harry has lost his lunch box again. I'm fed up of this happening so have given him a choice. He can go and find it or have no lunch tomorrow. He has chosen to have no lunch so I wlll not be sending one in. Please do not give him a school dinner as I will not pay for it".
Surely sending him in with his lunch in a carrier bag and making him use pocket money to replace the lunch box would be a better option. Or am I too soft.
Primary school if that makes any difference.

OP posts:
cory · 21/01/2014 19:23

I imagine school will probably be more than a little fed up if they are expected to deal with a hungry and miserable Harry who can't concentrate. I really don't believe in laying your child's punishments on other people.

elliejjtiny · 21/01/2014 19:23

I would imagine the school will give him a school dinner and send the parents a bill. My DC's school phones the parents and asks them to either bring in lunch or the child will be given a school dinner. If my DC's had lost lunchboxes they would be given a packed lunch in an ice cream tub.

formerbabe · 21/01/2014 19:23

Horrible...how could you send your child to school with no lunch and tell the school not to give him any?! What sort of mum would be OK with their child being hungry at school?! As you said op, I would send it in in a carrier bag.

Imnotaslimjim · 21/01/2014 19:25

I think the school would be having a chat along the lines of "willful neglect" how can anyone consider sending their child to school with no lunch!

uselessinformation · 21/01/2014 19:25

Agree - send in a carrier bag is what I used to so too.

CocktailQueen · 21/01/2014 19:26

Poor Harry!!! And imagine a mum using a public Facebook page to post things like that. :(

Crowler · 21/01/2014 19:30

As noted - if she's looking logical consequences, she'd be better off taking his money to replace his lunch box. This is just mean to poor Harry and passing the buck onto his teacher.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 21/01/2014 19:30

Slightly going against the general feeling here, it really would depend on how many lunch boxes he's lost. Some school insist on lunch boxes (ours does) and there is a limit to how many I would be prepared to buy. I might use old ice-cream tubs instead, but sometimes kids just have to learn that there are consequences to carelessness. (and No, I would have gone into school and discussed the issue with the teacher rather than using facebook)

conquistador · 21/01/2014 19:34

Shock Poor Kid!

Surely she's only doing that because she knows that the school will absolutely give him some lunch, yet she's making it clear that she won't pay in advance iyswim. I find it hard to believe that any parent would be happy with their child not eating from breakfast until the end of school!

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 21/01/2014 19:37

Couldnt she have sent a note? Confused or is she kne if those sort who smugly broadcast their most recent discipline strategy as if they expect a round of applause?

SuburbanRhonda · 21/01/2014 19:37

Under no circumstances would the school allow the child to go without lunch, so, as PP have said, they would give him a school dinner and send the bill to the parent.

A good head teacher would also have the parent in to talk about how to manage such an issue in future and the appropriateness of withholding food from a child as a form of punishment.

nicename · 21/01/2014 19:41

I feel a little sorry for Harry.

Original poster
LadyPenny · 21/01/2014 19:48

I've just looked at FB to see if anyone replied to the post. It's been removed. I hope she was just having a rant and thought better of it.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 21/01/2014 19:51

Relived to hear it, OP.

Maybe she got a few comments like the ones on here. Doesn't mean she won't follow through with her threat not to feed her child, though Sad

SaucyJack · 21/01/2014 19:53

How old is Harry?

HappyMamaBear · 21/01/2014 20:00

Hope the school looks into it. If that's the punishments she is publishing on FB I dread to think of the others she could implent.

AwfulMaureen · 21/01/2014 20:05

I am SO glad my children's school doesn't have a page on FB! I think social media and schools don't mix and this illustrates one of the reasons why!

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/01/2014 20:07

It depends primary secondary or sixth form?

MidniteScribbler · 21/01/2014 20:08

Why does she assume that teachers would check the facebook page anyway? They're usually there for the school to put up some feel good pictures or reminders about upcoming events, not for communicating with staff.

And secondly, sending a child to school without lunch would be grounds for a chat about child welfare and if it continued we'd be required to report it to child services.

Domus · 21/01/2014 20:21

at our school she would get a call to explain the error of her ways and if she didn't either provide lunch or agree to pay for one, child services would be advised.

OpalQuartz · 21/01/2014 20:30

What sort of mum would be OK with their child being hungry at school?!
^
This

Hulababy · 21/01/2014 20:31

Sockreturningpixie - OP syas primary.

It wouldn't be allowed at our school. We are infants , but our linked junior would be same. Child asked every morning what their lunch option is - meat, veggie or packed lunch. If a child had no packed lunch and told us this we would first call parents. Normally, if no contact and they didn't being lunch in, we would then just feed the child and bill the parent later.

And failing all that - one of us would just go and buy the poor child some food out of our pocket. We would not sit and let a child go hungry at lunchtime.

TBH even when I worked as a secondary school teacher I wouldn't have knowingly let a child go without lunch then either, even if it had to be funded from my own pocket.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 21/01/2014 20:34

What is she planning on doing the next day or is he not getting lunch any more?

FunkyBoldRibena · 21/01/2014 20:35

It depends primary secondary or sixth form?

It's in the OP that it's primary.

NewtRipley · 21/01/2014 20:39

It's not the forum I'd choose to communicate this to the rest of the school - it's disrespectful to Harry.
I'm all for logical consequences, but yes, paying for his meal, or the lunchbox, would be a better one.

She doesn't seem to have good judgment. or maybe she posted that before thinking