To think my Dad could have just said 'I'm busy' (light hearted but gross)

[Danann]

Just called my parents and got 'hey, your little brothers and sisters are out so your mum and i are being intimate on the sofa, can I call you back?' I accept my parents have sex but did I really need that image in my head? how will I ever be able to sit on their sofa again?

yeah it probably is, more parentist than ageist though tbh as I don't think old people who weren't my parents would bother me half as much.

You should try turning up for lunch at your ILs' and finding them at it on the dining room table.

Or turning up for more lunch and them running breathlessly down the stairs in threadbare dressing gowns, flushed and giggling.

I'm pleased for them really.

Reminded me of this joke:

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.

The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing,
send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking,
send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

Pipe down better this was becoming a funny thread!

BobSamandIgglePiggle - Certainly not - how rude! I'm just giving an alternative view, and questioning the need for finding the thought of older people's/relatives sex lives unpleasant or embarrassing.

There was a thread the other day about a mother finding the sight of her eighteen-year-old daughter canoodling with her boyfriend very uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch. She was told, almost unanimously, that this was unreasonable and that her daughter was a grown woman with a right to a sex life etc.

This is exactly the same thing, in reverse!

That's what Homer and Marge Simpson call it, "being intimate!" Were they actually watching The Simpsons? :)

No-one's parents have ever had sex. It gets invented every year, and everyone who has become parents in the previous 12 months undergoes a weird time travel thingie.

Not sure how this works for people with two or more children. I don't do details.....

Alternatively, you could call back in five mins and ask if he's spoffed yet.

Ok.
Maybe not.

I would say this too my son (and then piss my self laughing). It called payback lol!!!

cherry lol! DP will definitely do this to DS and DSDs when they are grown. He's already scheming how to embarrass them! Ahahaaahaaa! Revenge!!!

CassCade, I really hope that's what it was.

Better I don't mind them having a sex life, tbh I'm quite pleased that after 30 years and 8 children they are still in love enough to want one, but I'd rather they didn't tell me!

My mum hasn't had a shag for 15 years. I'd quite like her to get laid

My MILs boyfriend is 91. She is 78. First time they came to stay with us as a couple was the best fun I have had at DHs expense. I am a good wife, honest I used to gently sing "your mummy has a boyfriend" to DH in that playground teasing singsong way. I asked him helpful questions like "should I get the double bed ready or the twin beds?" I was a bit sympathetic though and prepared both rooms and pointed them in the general direction. Poor DH was beside himself when they picked the double. We were pleased for them really! It is definitely a parent thing, parents don't dtd. Ever. Fact.

Gahhhh poor you OP.

My mum has form for this. In my first term of uni she called and we had the following conversation:

Mum: can we come and visit this weekend?
Me: yeah, sure
Mum: because DSis is away on a school trip
Me: ok
Mum: and if we don't come, then I'll have to stay at home and get intimate with your father. Perish the thought. So is teatime Friday ok?

BLEUGH

Reminds me of the joke:

An elderly gentleman is asked by the doctor to provide a sperm sample - he is given a jar and sent home.

He attends his next appointment with an empty jar. The doctor asks why it's empty, the gentleman explains that he tried, he tried his hardest but he couldn't do it. He got his wife to have a go, she tried with both hands abd couldn't do it so they got Maud next door to try. She used her mouth, teeth in AND out, but still none of them could get the bloody lid off the jar!

I agree with Better!
But then I'm in my 50s, with parents in their late 70s and adult children, and we all seem to enjoy sex. The youngsters are the most squeamish and narrow-minded about it though. The idea that parents and grandparents still have sex seems to panic them.
In your head, messing with your stereotypes.

The other day my mother asked my dad for a shopping list in front of me. He said, as a joke apparently, "Oh, eggs, milk, a box of condoms."

My mom and I horrified, admonished him for making such jokes in front of his daughter. He replies, "How do you think you got here?!"

"NOT WITH A BOX OF CONDOMS I DIDN'T!"

Ewww, my mum started off a conversation with me the other day with "you know I had to go and visit the doctor about my Itchy Rear End"....god no I didn't know and I don't want to know! And who on earth says "rear end" anyway?!

Oh, bless you all, you are giving me the giggles.

Thank you, Apples! I'm not trying to labour the point (only made two short, fairly light-hearted remarks!) but dislike being to told to "pipe down" for venturing to voice a different viewpoint!

Perhaps I should move over to Gransnet, with my red hat and inappropriate lusts?

Hahaha that made me laugh ladyflumpalot

My parents were embarrassing when I was a wee teenager dating.. I bring my bf home to meet parents, my lovely dad plays Kevin Wilson song, do you f@@k on first date

Send him a text asking him to phone you back once mum's finished doing him up the 'arris with the strap on.

I just want to say that reading this thread has made me laugh so much i have tears .