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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is far too early to start weaning?

77 replies

hestergraysgarden · 19/01/2014 17:15

I met a friend of a friend at a christening party yesterday. Her (very lovely) baby was born at 28 weeks and is now 11 weeks old, so is still a week away from reaching term. They are already giving her pureed vegetables and rusks!

DS is six months old and has only just started on puree. I'm not going to try him on finger foods for another month or so.

I didn't say anything to her as I would never usually criticise a new mum, knowing full well what it feels like to get unsolicited advice from strangers. But I'm a bit worried that she might be unwittingly causing her baby harm as it doesn't seem like they have spoken to their health visitor or midwife - they said she just wasn't satisfied by her formula anymore and had stopped sleeping through (it just sounds like a growth spurt to me).

Is it safe for a premature baby to be weaned so early? I don't know if I should try and raise the issue next time I see her or just leave it.

Sorry. Got myself a bit nattered.

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 19/01/2014 23:00

My DH is 19 now. Then advice was to wean at 16 weeks. DS was a milk guzzler, huge and never satisfied. My GP suggested I weaned at 12 weeks. DS took to puree like a duck to water and it completely settled him. And at 12 weeks he held his head up.

At 19 he's 6'2", plays front row, is farming in NZ and goes to Oxford in the autumn. No digestive problems - in fact he's always had a cast iron gut, no allergies - no probs at all. DH and I were also weaned at 10/12 weeks like most of our generation and it wasn't beset woith gjastly digestive problems.

Whay worked for DS also worked for DD although we didn't bother takindoctor's advice. She's only 5'5" though - it might have stunted her.

In short - it's none of your business and you are being unreasonable. Also didn't you make a massivbe mistake in your OP stationg first the baby was born at 28 weeks and then coming back and saying she was two weeks early and you made a mistake. Is it just me or has no-opne picked up on that.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 19/01/2014 23:05

Sorry Pobble but my DD was 1 week older when I stared and it wasn't for my convenience.

I would have told anyone who questioned what and why I was doing what I was doing to wind their neck in and mind their own.

OP said it's a friend of a friend so frankly it's got nothing to do with her.

Slatecross · 19/01/2014 23:10

My son was born at 36 weeks and had terrible reflux. Our paediatrician recommended weaning at 13 weeks , which was 9 weeks age adjusted. I couldn't get my head around it but that's what we were told.

IneedAsockamnesty · 19/01/2014 23:58

NearTheWindow*

Nope it's just you misreading the op the baby is now 2 weeks from term adjusted.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 20/01/2014 09:47

Nearthewindmill

When I was a new born baby I was put to sleep on my stomach (as my parents were advised.) I'm fine now - 34, Cambridge graduate, represented Cambridge at two sports and my College at 4 others.

I'm still putting newborn ds to sleep on his back.

Research moves on. You go with the best advice you can get at the time.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 20/01/2014 10:01

Research moves on. You go with the best advice you can get at the time

Exactly. I'm a children's nurse (hence why I will never agree that it's ok to wean a baby early). Would you want me caring for your child using out dated techniques based on evidence from 40 years ago? Things we aren't allowed to do anymore as we know they aren't safe? No, so I fail to see how it's any different. Research is continuous and always updated. Best practice, and all that.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 20/01/2014 10:10

Ds3 was 8 weeks early and I was advised to wean between 5-6 months.

Ds1 was the only one weaned early at about 15 weeks on advice of hv, at the time advice was 4 months. He is the only one to have allergies, intolerances and also some gastric problems now hes older.

That was enough to make me stick to guidlines (which had changed to 6 months) with the others.

None of them were blw and none have problems with different textures ect.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 20/01/2014 11:40

Pobble you say that but I was advised by 2 medical professionals to wean at 12 weeks. Still not agree?

Ubik1 · 20/01/2014 11:44

Weaning's so emotive.

worldgonecrazy · 20/01/2014 11:51

Weaning is emotive, but has anyone actually done the maths. The baby isn't even the age of a full-term NEWBORN and the mother is giving rusks and pureed vegetables.

Would anyone on here actually say it's no one's business if a mother was giving a one day old baby pureed food?

As another poster mentioned, if it's because premature babies need more iron than term-babies, then there are methods which will actually get some iron into the baby's system, rather than low iron mushed food stuff.

The OP has every right to be concerned.

Mabelface · 20/01/2014 11:54

Possibly a little early unless she's been advised by her baby's medical team, and a baby that was born that prem will still be under the neonatal team until around 6 months old. The baby will also be given iron and vitamins until proper weaning starts. However, my triplets weaned early. My boys were 3 months and my daughter 4 months and it was discussed with the paed and HV and they were fine with it. They were hungry little pickles.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/01/2014 12:23

Meep,

Do you understand the difference between I was advised and I mentioned it they did not tell me not to? You would be surprised at how many people don't.

Or is your baby now old enough to attend school?

Babies with out a medical complaint or medical factor do not get advised to be weaned early because that is against the current medical guidelines unless that advice has come from a HV who does not follow her employers instructions.

I had a very hungry baby usually means I was feeding to often for my liking and was in a hurry to show everybody what a clever baby I had.the nutritional differences and calorie differences between milk and purée is huge and that's before you factor in that baby rice nutrition wise is much the same as toilet paper.

So it was either when the information given was different or medical issue or you were in a hurry and fell for the purée makes them sleep longer because it takes longer to digest con that's often perpetuated by people with selective memories.

Creamycoolerwithcream · 20/01/2014 12:35

I weaned mine at 3 months. That was the advice I was given over 25 years ago when DS1 was born. OP your friend of a friend's baby does sound very young given she was born so early.

MeepMeepVrooooom · 20/01/2014 12:46

Sock

Yes I understand the difference between the two and as I said I was advised to introduce solids at that age. Once by a doctor and second by a nurse. Alongside this my HV also agreed (although I had already started by that point)

I had not even considered weaning when this was suggested to me. I would also like to point out I did not decrease the amount of milk DD was getting at this point, I did say this in another post. She also didn't ever have baby rice.

DD slept through the night from 7 weeks old for 12 hours so I had zero need for her to sleep any longer overnight so it certainly wasn't for that reason either.

Crowler · 20/01/2014 12:46

I hate seeing newborns being fed solids. It makes me feel judgy.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/01/2014 12:50

Meep, out of interest,what was the medical issue and how old is the child we are talking about?

MeepMeepVrooooom · 20/01/2014 13:00

My DD is 2.5 now. There was no specific medical issue as to why they suggested weaning. I was at the Doctor for an entirely different reason but as it is a very small practice and I know the doctor on personal terms he was asking bout DD in general. She wasn't gaining weight as she should have been at the time and it was suggested that I introduce solids without weaning her off milk, she was already taking 7 full bottles of hungry baby formula a day.

There was no rhyme nor reason for the fact that she wasn't gaining weight as she took her milk no problem so there wasn't much left for trying. I am not saying this is advisable to every baby but all I am saying is that people can still be advised to do different things whether people agree or not.

Whether the advice was right or not we never looked back, DD was soon eating a very full and varied diet and quickly started to put on weight. If anyone at the time had insinuated that I was doing wrong by my daughter they would not have had the politest response it was nobody else's business. I would never question anyone's decisions where their children are concerned unless I truly thought their child was in serious danger.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/01/2014 13:04

Not gaining weight is a medical issue

MeepMeepVrooooom · 20/01/2014 13:06

Sorry I should have said she had gained weight prior to this but eased off. She wasn't underweight and it wasn't a medical issue just something to keep an eye on as she really should have been. It would have turned into one if she hadn't started to gain weight.

promote · 20/01/2014 13:10

i dont think thats too early at all , did the same with both mine at 11 weeks as the milk just wasnt enough , parents know their own child better than anyone else .

muchadoaboutsomething · 20/01/2014 13:16

I know at least 2 prem babies who were weaned before the equivalent of term. On medical advice from the paeds and SALTs, and on veg and rice. I didn't do it with my prem DS.

Unless you know what the medical advice for that child is leave it alone. the child is 11 weeks as far as the stomach is concerned because weaning is one thing you do by actual not corrected dates. And if the child also has certain other issues to do with reflux/swallow which are much much more common with prem babies then the advice might be to wean. Or it might not. But in either case i would trust them over and above HVs, GPs or anyone else as it is different with prems.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/01/2014 13:18

With weight gain they tend to be more concerned about the graph line being followed as they would expect (well with babies within normal weights) than where abouts on the graph the line is,they like consistence.

If it was not a medical issue why would the doc have advised you take those steps also why would you take none medical advice just because someone was a doctor,you wouldn't and neither would they.

A dip in weight or not gaining as expected to the point that a doctor feels he should advise on,is a issue.

Seff · 20/01/2014 13:21

If a baby needs to gain weight, and breastmilk/formula has more calories than food, why are doctors not advising more milk instead of food?

But OTOH, I also hear things like "baby was gaining too much weight, so we had to start weaning"

Can both of these things be true?

MeepMeepVrooooom · 20/01/2014 13:22

Like I said I know him personally too and he said before it becomes an issue maybe you could try XYZ. She wasn't unwell due to it, it was just something he advised and it worked for us.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/01/2014 13:23

Prevention of a medical issue is a valid medical thing.