Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm officially a prude and an old bag !

40 replies

Tinkertaylor1 · 18/01/2014 21:54

Sat her with dh, dd1(18) and dd bf (22) watching tv, usual Saturday night shit.

Dd1 has been going out with bf for over a year but has only really had him round a few times. She mostly stays at his place.

I keep watching them out the corner of my eye. I can't help it. She is rubbing his knee and he just kissed her foot while casually talking to db.

They are cuddled up under a blanket Hmm

What happened to sitting politely and being shit scared in front of your potential in laws? And as I mother I'm pretty scary.

I'm not jealous as me and dh are very touchy feely but it feel weird this young man in my house playing smoochy with my PFB dd.

They have gone up to bed turning my mind off dh is happy as he now has his corner of the couch back

**disclaimer he is actually a nice lad, adores her and handsome too, but still........

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 18/01/2014 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tinkertaylor1 · 18/01/2014 22:03

Clearly a boring prude and old bag Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkertaylor1 · 18/01/2014 22:05

We did do, we out for shopping and dinner, they baby sat. Maybe I'm not ready to admit my dd1 is a young woman Sad

OP posts:
DayAfterYesterday · 18/01/2014 22:06

Definitely dont think about what they are doing now then....

seriously though I dont see the problem they are adults you will get used to it must just be strange to see your child all gtown up

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi · 18/01/2014 22:07

Ah I think that's quite sweet actually, as long as there was nothing too inappropriate

My ds1 had his girlfriend round on news years eve and there was lots of kissing and touching (not groping or anything obviously) I was fine with it, so was DH, so were his siblings but my mum was very pursed lip about it Grin

Bettercallsaul1 · 18/01/2014 22:13

I think if they are at the stage of staying overnight with each other on a regular basis, I wouldn't be shocked at them canoodling, while watching TV! (with or without blanket!)

picnicbasketcase · 18/01/2014 22:15

They're grown up so you shouldn't feel odd...but I would too in your place, because seeing your DC getting all smoochy is bound to feel wrong.

Passmethecrisps · 18/01/2014 22:17

I would hate this. Not a fan if PDA. My dd is just 1 thought so I might feel differently in 17 years time not likely

Original poster
Tinkertaylor1 · 18/01/2014 22:17

iam yes Mil was quite shocked. Do t know why dd1 has got fuck all to do with her. They have been on three holidays together and stays at his 5/7 nights, but he has never stayed here .

Ah to be 18 again!

OP posts:
AwfulMaureen · 18/01/2014 22:19

Gah! YANBU. I couldn't cope. My Dh and his family are all ok about that kind of thing but I'm NOT! NO kissing! NO foot kissing or knee rubbing!

Tell them! Tell them!

harticus · 18/01/2014 22:19

I am with you OP.
I don't want to witness my 18 yo getting all loved up in the same way I don't need to see my parents doing it.

everlong · 18/01/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tinkertaylor1 · 18/01/2014 22:44

When we were on our way out I walked out the door but opened it and bobbed back in the living room, in the three seconds it took me to do that she had gone and combed on to his lap .

I just said ' oh dear '

Bf did actually do a nervous laugh

Dd wasn't arsed!

everlong the older she gets the more over sharing she does ....

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 19/01/2014 00:03

Er, I believe the current phrase (to be addressed to persons indulging in public affection) is urggh! get a room! ?

SuzanneUK · 19/01/2014 00:12

You're not a prude.

Even the most non-prudish parents in the world can feel uncomfortable about their daughters engaging in sexual activity.

Try as they might to rationalise the situation, vast numbers of parents are just not happy with the idea of boys (or indeed girls) doing intimate things to their daughters.

You are most certainly not being unreasonable.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/01/2014 00:16

she had gone and combed onto his lap

typo typo typo I hope.
I don't want to think WHAT she combed on his lap Blush

SquinkiesRule · 19/01/2014 09:23

I'm a prude right along with you. I used to cringe when Ds would sit with his girlfriend in our living room and act this way. Gah! I used to run for cover and hope she'd go home, even though she was a lovely girl and I enjoyed her company too. They were 18.

WhatAFeline · 19/01/2014 09:26

Not a prude, but you need to work on getting more comfortable with it. Smile

Hoppinggreen · 19/01/2014 09:27

Have you got a handy younger child?
We had a New Years party and a neighbours 20 year old and his girlfriend we canoodling in the kitchen. My 5 year old who is very fond of said 20 year old wasn't happy " what are you kissing HER for? Stop it!!!"
Every time he got anywhere near her it was " no, come and play with me"
It was hilarious!

BohemianGirl · 19/01/2014 09:28

People just have no dignity, decorum or discretion.

And I know Im an old prude.

Original poster
Tinkertaylor1 · 19/01/2014 09:34

Dh was NOT happy when we went to bed, dd1 had swopped his pillows for the shitty flat spare ones we have to give to bf Shock

I think it will be his first and last time staying over. Grin

OP posts:
everlong · 19/01/2014 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 19/01/2014 09:40

Not under my roof with me in it!

The immortal words of my dearly departed grandma!

SecretWitch · 19/01/2014 09:44

I am watching this thread with interest. I was taken aback when my
(then) 13 yr old dd stood talking to me whilst her very first boyfriend had his arm round her shoulder.

I know she is growing up and starting to experiment. We are open in our family about sex. I guess I just am not yet comfortable with covert/overt signals of intimacy between my teenager and her bf.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 19/01/2014 09:48

I think it's fair to expect a similar level of public affection from older teens as the level shown by the parents iyswim. If you and DH kiss and cuddle in front of kids, you can expect them to do the same in their turn when they are adults - learning by example and all. If you and DH don't display affection physically, I think it's ok to ask your adult kids to behave in the same way. However, if his parents are ok with it, they may spend more of their time at his house as time goes on. Are you sure you want that?

It is ok to explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable though, when you get DD on her own.

Swipe left for the next trending thread