To not want to leave DD in hotel room

[overfacebook]

We went away with a few friends a while ago and stayed in a hotel. One of the couples had a 1 year old DD who they left in the room while we had dinner. The baby monitor wouldn't reach but they didn't seem worried and went up every now and then to listen at the door.

I now have a baby DD and we may be going away with the same group in the summer. There is no way that I'd feel happy about leaving her in a hotel room while DH and I were downstairs. However our friends are planning to do the same again.

Would I be unreasonable to tell them that I think this is irresponsible and really risky? Anyone could have a key; what if child was ill and you didn't realise for ages etc etc.... So many reasons. Or am I just being overly paranoid? I'd love to know what you all think and how I can approach this without coming over all judgemental.

Nothing to do with recent events on the news-this is just the time of year when we start thinking about holidays. Totally different scenario anyway.

We only ever stayed in cottages when the children were small, find somewhere with lots of child-friendly restaurants.

its just, there was another very famous case of a wee girl left in a hotel room... and wee Mikaeel has just recently been found.

seemed a bit... coincidental to me.

I wouldn't leave my DCs under those circumstances.
In explaining why you will, in effect, be making your feelings clear re: the risks.

if I'm barking up the wrong tree, I do apologise.

I never have. DS never slept at that age. DD1 was happy to sleep in her buggy and that suited us better, DD2 is another slept refuser. If she has to, she'll go in her buggy.

i'd probably say 'i'd rather not because ' then maybe they might reconsider.

Don't go on this holiday with these friends. Either find something where you don't need to leave your baby or don't go. We went away with friends a few years ago (villa but with shared pool / bar complex). Our friends were comfortable leaving their baby napping / asleep while they went for a swim or a drink but we weren't happy to leave ours (and so didn't). It just made for a shit holiday, I felt stuck in the villa like an unpaid babysitter while they went out and enjoyed themselves, and the atmosphere was rubbish.

I see your point, HSB, but think Op is kosher

Why cant you go to the hotel but take your dd with you to the restaurant? You don't have to do the same as your friends are doing, it doesn't sound like anyone has made such a demand of you anyway. Are you over thinking it a little?

why not suggest booking a holiday cottage instead then the dc are just upstairs?

You do what you want, but if I'm reading you correctly, your question is whether you should tell these other parents that they are irresponsible. My answer to that is, mind your own business.

I've never done this myself and never would.

You could simply say No, you won't be doing that because you're not comfy with it and hope the friends get the message.
If they try to push you then give your reasons.

Right, I have emailed the group suggesting we rent a cottage so no one will have to worry about little ones. Fingers crossed!

no Never had and never would.

people amaze me.

We used to take DS downstairs with us & let him sleep in his pushchair when he was a baby. When he was bigger we put him to bed & went back regularly to check. He goes to bed later than us now.

i hate that people still have a 'mind your own business' attitude even when there's a risk of something bad happening.

Need I say more than what happened to Madeleine McCann?

YANBU. I was horrified when it was suggested I do this with DD at SIL's wedding. As if!

Cottage rental / Centre Parcs is a great idea. DH and I have had a great time doing this with friends with our DCs safely tucked up in the same property as us.

Wouldn't do it, and wouldn't have considered it acceptable pre-children but that is because I was brought up knowing that relatives made a similar decision, with tragic consequences.

Otherwise, it is plausible that pre-children, I might just have assumed a set of parents knew what they were doing, if you see what I mean.

I would never do that. But neither would I comment on their way of doing things, unless they specifically asked and insisted why I couldn't just leave DS in the room. But I would be very tactful, by saying something like 'I'm too much of a baby to have the guts to do that'

I think a cottage is better when you have small children, anyway. More flexibility.

But babies are portable. I never left mine in a hotel room but they would sleep in portable car seat carrier by our restaurant table, or when older we would push them round on the push chair with the seat tilted back til they slept and then eat out with the push chair next to us.

Anyway, certainly do not use words like 'irresponsible' just say it isn't what you feel comfortable doing, or you know others do it and rationally there is little risk but you just can't get over your instincts and are happy to bear any inconvenience.

Madeleine Mc cann was in an unlocked appartment - that is a different scenario imo.