Mother in law woo

[Emrel]

Am I being unreasonable?
I've just looked up the expected lifespan of women in the Uk to see how long statistically I need to put up with this old nasty cow bag.
My mother in law is a single mother with her one golden egg.
She has had a variation of jobs, never stuck with anything to build a pension, lived in a council house. Wears stilettos while constantly moaning about her OA.
My parents have worked their entire live and saved and are now enjoying their retirement. They are truly like the fable of the ants and the cricket.
She used to live up North and we hardly saw her. She loves my first daughter but ignored my second one for the first 2 years.

For some reason we decided to help her move down south, she offered to help with childcare. I found a housing association that would help her move despite my better judgement and for 3 months with a short honemoon period she's been causing all sorts of havoc.

My husband was made redundant and now works three hours away 3 days a week. I work three days now and babysit my friends kids on my days of. My friend does the same for me, she is awesome!
The only childcare my mil does is 4 hours after school for my eldest and picking up my youngest from nursery for 1 hour before I come home one day a week.

She has a habit of cancelling whenever I am stuck! I can pretty much rely on her to cancel.
She would not go to my daughters first nativity play ( neither performance) as she was meeting a "friend" ( met het less than 1 month ago). The one time my husband was away a different night of the week and I literally spend the entire night cleaning vomit every hour on the hour she would not have my little one because she had plans.

Everything needs to revolve around her, she is such a drama queen.
It is awfull but I hope I don't have to put up with her much longer.

Am I the only one?

Reminds me of the expression "death comes like a thief in the night". I know of apparently fit healthy young people who have suddenly died. MIL might well outlive you.

TLOLRY GDAOY FKCEUR

YABExtremelyU
I think that is the most horrible opening to a thread I have ever read.
All sympathy here has to be with your MiL for ending up with you as a DiL.

OP are you going to come back? Do you still think you're right?

I doubt OP will come back after this pasteing.

Why do some people actually think it's a good idea to put their thoughts, such as this, online and hope they'll be applauded and agreed with.

It's daft.

OA is osteo arthritis at a guess.

She's gone...

wtf - lets bloody hope so!

OP you have gone straight to the top of my "people I'd like to slap" list. Unreasonable is not even close to how you appear to be towards your MIL. I'd say that you are being an evil bitch queen from hell frankly.

Where did you get the idea that your MIL would want to be more involved in your children's lives? Was it just something that you expected, is it what freind's mothers do? Is it what your GM did for you? It sounds as if you both have very different expectations of what role MIL is to play in your family's life.

You helped her move down south for babysitting services? Would have been easier to rely on paid child care like the rest of us.

If she did provide you with babysitting services, then you would be on here about what a crap job she is doing. The woman will never be able to do right in your eyes.

YABU to compare her to your parents, you don't know why she couldn't hold down her job & build up a nest egg. It could have been because she is a difficult person or for a multitude of other reasons but YABU for not acknowledging the fact that she brought up your dh as a lone parent.

My MIL was a tought nut, I didn't agree with all of her views but I respected her for the fact that she brought up 5 kids by herself. It's not easy bringing up kids with 2 parents nevermind just 1.

Lets hope that your DIL/SIL doesn't start a count down on your life expectancy in 30 years time like you are. That is just plain nasty & awful for your dh.

So she does actually care for your children every week but according to you that's not enough?

And you are calculating how long it might be before she dies?

Lovely.

This has to be the meanest mil thread ever, and I've seen quite a few mean mil threads on here.
YABU

OMG, did you say she was...Northern ? How horrible for you! You have my sympathy and you are being perfectly reasonable in being a complete bitch about her

We've been had haven't we?

Your poor mil.
YABU, and you don't sound like that great a person yourself!

DFOD

My sisters and I were all born and brought up in Council houses.

Wherever YOU were born and brought up you have turned out to be a nasty, entitled, self-obsessed Atrocious Cunt.

(My first use of that wonderful MN epithet. Thoroughly deserved in your case.)

Use paid childcare. That way you aren't reliant on free childcare.

I feel sorry for your MIL.

I think you need to arrange paid childcare for that one day a week.

Then see if you can forge a new relationship with MIL.

You've not been living in close proximity for long; there's every chance that with a bit of goodwill this can settle own. It's great she's making friends already, so she shouldn't be a drain on you.

What does your DH make of all this?

allthingsfluffy

I kept reading, expecting to find the really bad thing she did on the next line. But it never came.

This.

OP, are you deliberately trying to post as extreme opinions as possible, or did you genuinely think Mumsnet hated mother-in-laws so much that we'd take your side, whatever it was?