Mother in law woo

[Emrel]

Am I being unreasonable?
I've just looked up the expected lifespan of women in the Uk to see how long statistically I need to put up with this old nasty cow bag.
My mother in law is a single mother with her one golden egg.
She has had a variation of jobs, never stuck with anything to build a pension, lived in a council house. Wears stilettos while constantly moaning about her OA.
My parents have worked their entire live and saved and are now enjoying their retirement. They are truly like the fable of the ants and the cricket.
She used to live up North and we hardly saw her. She loves my first daughter but ignored my second one for the first 2 years.

For some reason we decided to help her move down south, she offered to help with childcare. I found a housing association that would help her move despite my better judgement and for 3 months with a short honemoon period she's been causing all sorts of havoc.

My husband was made redundant and now works three hours away 3 days a week. I work three days now and babysit my friends kids on my days of. My friend does the same for me, she is awesome!
The only childcare my mil does is 4 hours after school for my eldest and picking up my youngest from nursery for 1 hour before I come home one day a week.

She has a habit of cancelling whenever I am stuck! I can pretty much rely on her to cancel.
She would not go to my daughters first nativity play ( neither performance) as she was meeting a "friend" ( met het less than 1 month ago). The one time my husband was away a different night of the week and I literally spend the entire night cleaning vomit every hour on the hour she would not have my little one because she had plans.

Everything needs to revolve around her, she is such a drama queen.
It is awfull but I hope I don't have to put up with her much longer.

Am I the only one?

I kept reading, expecting to find the really bad thing she did on the next line. But it never came.

Get over yourself OP.

Oh and YABU.

If she's single did it ever occur to you that she doesn't want to focus her life around brats on a weekly basis?

I was going to ask if this was a wind-up, but as I see you are not alone in wishing for your MiL's early demise...

So clearly not.

I wonder how many 'old cows' think 'Right back 'atcha' about their DiLs?

Mines probably thinks that about me too!!

Cancelling last minute is annoying, I agree with that. My PIL did this for a while and it was disappointing for my DC and annoying for me.
It was their choice though, GP's are not childminders. If they WANT to help out great but you can't expect it. If you need reliable childcare then pay for it.

I see why you feel let down, OP, I totally get that MIL's promises don't match her actions. That must be infuriating.

So stop relying on her. You managed before she moved down, go back to previous plans and leave her out of it.

Oh, and why doesn't your husband deal with her, instead? She's his mum AND she's letting him down as much as letting you down.

YABU. I have had my issues with my MIL but I can't imagine counting the days till she dies! If you love your husband you need to realise he loves his mother and this attitude towards her will poison your relationship.

Wow, you sound charming!!!

Is OA osteoarthritis? Some women have always worn heels and wouldn't dream of changing their footwear - I have known women who say walking in flat shoes is uncomfortable for them due to them always having worn heels.

That's a really horrible OP. My MIL has behaved very badly at times towards DH, DCs, my parents and me but I would not wish her dead - she is DH's mother and DCs' grandmother.

YABVU

Wow.

I really reallllly dislike my MIL. She has done some vile things towards us and our kids. We also used to cancel alot and she was very unreliable. Unfortunatley, things happened, she couldnt be bothered to see our kids and we dont see her anymore.

But she is my DH's mum. I would never, in a million years wish her dead!

also, i don't really understand what she has done? she doesnt babysit? Or she babysits too little?

I was waiting for a really bad thing she had done...but nope.

I have also had alot of jobs and wear high heeled shoes. shoot me. YABVU.

If I was your MIL, I'd be walking straight up the A1 in my stilettos and back to my council house. Bugger the blisters.

You sound entitled and snobby.

*she used to cancel. not.'we'

god you sound horrible op.

Op you sound horrible. Stop relying on her for childcare.

I think you need to get your head around the idea that different people have different ideas. It doesn't make them bad, just different. Sometimes it makes them annoying, but everyone will find someone annoying, just like people find you annoying its part of life.

Am I being unreasonable?
I've just looked up the expected lifespan of women in the Uk to see how long statistically I need to put up with this old nasty cow bag.
My mother in law is a single mother with her one golden egg.
She has had a variation of jobs, never stuck with anything to build a pension, lived in a council house. Wears stilettos while constantly moaning about her OA.

none of these things make her a bad person op.

they are not relevant to your case at all.
My MIL has not worked but her DH has, they are also enjoying their retirement and are very wealthy, they are also nasty pieces of work.
I couldn't give too hoots about them keeping jobs or not having a pension in fact I think they would be a whole lot nicer, if they were average.

this single mum is your DH mother, and seems to have created a man you chose to marry....

< just had to pause here, i think this if the first time i have ever defended a MIL on mn!>

Wears stilettos. Mm, is her hair the wrong length as well?

Lived in a council house. Single parent with no career and didn't manage to save for retirement. More likely your annoyed about the lack of a decent inheritance perhaps?

Poor MiL. She should have stayed up North with her friends instead of uprooting herself somewhere new where she doesn't know anyone. Of course, she needs to put time & effort into making new friends otherwise her only company are small children and an ungrateful DiL who expects free childcare on tap. God help her!

What an unpleasant woman you sound, OP.

If that's what you think of your MIL you'd hate me then! (goes off and polishes stiletto collection as when you are 5 ft 2 you wear either heels or wellies!!!)

She doesn't babysit for you as much as you'd like, so you hope she dies soon?

ah yes, the 'gosh we're married and have a house and a pension and are enjoying our retirement' snobbery, prejudice and downright Daily Mail inability to see the bigger picture....the bashing of the single mother.

As yoniwherethesundontshine says, the single mother who managed to bring up her 'golden egg' to be worthy of marriage to the child of the 'gosh we're married and have a house and a pension and are enjoying our retirement' couple.

People like you make me, a single mother with my 3 amazing eggs, want to go on a killing spree. Really, you have no idea of the damage to cause with your looking down the nose, the nasty comments and superiority in life. I bet it's your children who called mine 'single mum, benefit scum' in the playground, isn't it?

Bloody hell, you're waiting for her to pop her clogs?

Get on without her and stop whinging and being ' poor me'.

The one time my husband was away a different night of the week and I literally spend the entire night cleaning vomit every hour on the hour she would not have my little one because she had plans.

I'm not sure what your MiL has to do with this? Did you want her to be the one cleaning vomit instead of you?

Oh, and it's not easy moving away from home when you're retired. Good on her for going out and meeting people :)

OP- what goes around, comes around.
YABVU - and a complete cow by the sound of it! I too, would give you a wide berth if you were my DIL. I'd be so worried that my only DS and DGC had to live with someone who was so selfish and entitled. Blimey - you actually had to clear up your own children's vomit?? Clearly your MIL needs shooting for not being there to do it instead!